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Tuesday, June 30, 2020

What Else Can Be Said About This Year's June?????????????????????????


                              It certainly was not like June in "Carousel."  Nor in Freddy Cannon's song, "June, July, And August," which, some of you may notice, I did not play this year.  And for understandable reasons.  This has not exactly been a celebratory time.

                                But we made some strides.  We visited some doctors.  I visited two bookstores and ended up with a pile, we watched, on computer, the dazzling Jessie Mueller, move us with her renditions of "If I Loved You," "She Used To Be Mine," and the big surprise of the evening, "On My Own," from "Les Miz."  She sang it, like nobody's business!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And, also a sad farewell, to Seamus, who is now in retirement.  Oh, he is very much alive, thank God, but his will not be as pubic a presence, in Bay Ridge, as it has been.  The original Paws Truly, run by Deirdre and Michael Butler opened almost to the year David and I moved here. Two years ago, prices forced them to find a new locale, at Apple Tree, the health food store, here on Third Avenue.  After a valiant struggle, it was decided to call it quits.  Seamus was never happy with the place, though he got along famously with the actual store's mascot, Nicholas, the cat!  I love him, too!  He was actually sunning himself in the door, as I walked past him, after my disillusioning trip from Manhattan.  He gave a "Meow!," and raised a paw!

So, I understand Seamus' POV, too.  It was a treat to see him, last Friday, where he came up, and gave me a hug, as I patted him.  I think he knew it was our farewell moment.

Though, who knows?  We may bump into Seamus on the street,   And maybe a future St. Pat's parade!

God bless you, Seamus, Deirdre, and Michael.  You brought happiness to many in Bay Ridge, including this allergic animal lover!

Have a great retirement, Seamus!

And, of course I read lots of books.  You can scroll on here to see them!

That's all for June, kids?

What's up for July?  Indoors, and, possibly Little Edie's Sparkler Dance!

Can You Believe We Are Halfway Through 2020 Already?????????????????




                                  Normally, I would be jumping for joy girls, but face it, this has been a lost year.  And, to think, when I saw the double digits drop on New Years' Eve, I thought this year would be filled with excitement.

                                   Not that it hasn't been, but not the excitement I, or I am sure, any of us, were looking for.

                                    Yet, as I write this, and you read this, I cannot help but express gratitude that we are all still here!  And may I be saying this, when it comes time to ring down the curtain on 2020.

                                      Each year has its own, special history, including people's personal memories, but this year, as time marches on, will be especially historical, for reasons well known to us who are living through it.

                                        Nevertheless, I consider today the halfway point.  May we all be together like this at the end of the second half!

Another "Lace" Like Movie I Am Dying To See!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                               "Thunder On The Hill" came out in 1951, one year after "Three Secrets", so hidden secrets were big story material during this period of filmmaking.  It seems to combine elements of the aforementioned movie, with secrets concerning the suicide of the sibling of one of the nuns, a girl having been wrongly convicted of murdering her brother, and others being poisoned, I guess, in some way to keep their mouths shut.

                                    But the cast!  Claudette Colbert as the most glamorous Mother Superior ever to be seen on screen, and also on hand, that badass of nuns, Gladys Cooper, playing here a Mother Superior.  Remember, in "The Song Of Bernadette," she was only Mistress Of Novices, though I am sure, before Bernadette showed her the light, she was determined to oust the present Mother Superior from her job.

                                     The film even manages to get in a little bit of "Black Narcissus," what with a climatic scene where, someone is attacked in the bell tower.
All this, plus Claudette and Ann!  You just gotta love it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, June 28, 2020

Did This Movie Inspire Shirley Conran To Write "Lace???????????????????"



                                                 There is this sketch, on "The Carol Burnett Show," where Eunice decides to walk out on Ed, because he has been seen visiting a massage parlor!!!!  A lickee  lickee joint in Raytown, Missouri?  Hard to believe.  Bet it was several towns over.

                                                    Anyway, when Eunice arrives, distraught, her mother is distracted by the movie she has been watching.  A movie where it is about to be revealed which of three women is the mother of this child, who survived a plane crash.

                                                      Eunice spoils it for her, telling her who the mother is.  I won't spoil it for you, though, if you watch the sketch, you will find out.  Better to wait and see the movie.

                                                       What I am getting at here, is that, all this time, I thought this movie, whose title is never mentioned, was fictitious.  Then, when I looked up the cast member mentioned by Eunice, who has seen the movie before, I found out it is real, and now I have got to see it.  The other thing is, when I examined its plot, it is very close to Shirley Conran's "Lace."

                                                           Consider this.

                                                            "Three Secrets," released in 1950, which was unfavorably compared to Joseph L. Mankiewicz' film of the previous year, "A Letter To Three Wives," and was directed, way before "The Sound Of Music," by Robert Wise, concerns three women--Eleanor Parker, Patricia Neal, and Ruth Roman, all of whom, several years before, gave birth to an illegitimate son.  In the present time, a plane crashes in the California mountains, and each woman examines the past, wondering if the 5-year-old boy, who survived, could be their illegitimate son.  The mother's identity was not revealed until nearly the end.  I wonder if I could have figured it out.

                                                                 I did figure it out with "Lace," having read the novel and seen the mini-series, because, once I discovered Bess Armstrong was in the cast, I knew she was going to be the mother.  I never could stand Armstrong, who came off like Miss Perfect, but whom I could tell was a raging bitch.  She never fooled me with that wholesome act.

                                                                  Phoebe Cates plays Lili, this one-step-up- from- a whore film actress, who tracks down, and confronts three women, played by Bess Armstrong, Brooke Adams, and Arielle Dombasle.  They all knew each other when young, and in boarding school.  All are basically tramps, who become involved with older men, but only one of them gets knocked up.
When the child, born on November 17, 1960, and given the name of Elizabeth Lace--hence the title--the girls, afterward, decide to go to go to a local doctor, who arranges for the child to be adopted.  He tells the girls, or, specifically, Lili's mother, that of the three, she was the one he would least have suspected.  He is fooled by that Bess Armstrong wholesome act, when I always knew, all the way back to the sitcom, "On Our Own," that she was a total bitch!

                                                                   Get this--the girls are found out (the mother's name is given as "Lucinda Lace) by the headmaster who threatens to expel them, but--oh, girls, this is a hoot!--this is foiled when the girls uncover photos of him having homosexual sex with the school's chauffeur, Paul!
Imagine!  Not just gay sex--but sex with a SERVANT?  The thought today still makes me shudder today!  Never do this, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                    Lili is placed with Felix and Angelina Dassin.  One of the girls' aunts, named Hortense, agrees to pay for the child's upbringing.  But the couple are gunned down by soldiers in a tragic accident, and Lili is placed in a detention camp, where she remains for the next decade of her life.  After this, she begins to transform herself, become Lili, and when she is wealthy enough to do so, hires aa private investigator, to track down the girls, one of whom has become a journalist, the other the wife of a British aristocrat, and the other a French socialite.

                                                                    Lili, who gets the best lines, wants to get even for them making her life hell, and wants to also find out who her real mother is.  When Hortense tells Lili that this child is most likely dead, she says, "They'll wish I was.  They made their schoolgirl pact and sent me to Hell--I'll teach them what I learned there!"

                                                                    Honestly, girls, you just don't see this kind of writing anymore!  What a shame!

                                                                    The best line comes at the end, which is actually how "Lace" opens.  Most of it is told in flashback.  Having gathered the three women together in a hotel room, she faces them, and delivers the classic line, "Incidentally, which one of you bitches is my mother?"
Priceless, and this was probably the crowning moment of Phoebe Cates' career!

                                                                     Once the flashback ends, there is a shot of legs walking up a set of stairs to visit Lili, and it is learned that Judy Hale (Bess Armstrong) is her mother!  As stated, I was not fooled for a second, and when Armstrong's face is finally shown in this scene, I shouted, "I knew it!"  What a bitch!  If I had been Lili, I would have smacked her across the face!  Maybe all of them!

                                                                      So, think about it, dolls!  A 1950 movie about three women with a secret illegitimate child, and a 1984 novel  adaptation, of a story about three boarding school girls who agree to keep secret the illegitimate pregnancy of one of their friends.

                                                                        Coincidence, or inspiration?  What do you think?   The plots are eerily similar.
"Lace" is camp of the highest order!  I can't say the same for "Three Secrets," having not seen it yet, but I bet, at Miss Porter's "Lace" is required reading, along with "The Group," "Valley Of The Dolls," and Lillian Hellman's play, "The Children's Hour."

And just look at this jacket cover!  Isn't this all how we should be living, darlings???????????

You mean, you aren't?????????????????

Happy Gay Pride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                    Who would know, right?

                                     The only thing I can say is to congratulate all of us still here, and may each of us celebrate it in our own way.  Playing the entire Streisand oeuvre, or your favorite Broadway show,
sharing the day with the one you love--as I plan to.  The time is now upon us to appreciate the smaller things we sometimes take for granted--like each other, and the beauties and colors of nature.

                                       So, this Gay Pride should not be forgotten.  It will be more reflective, and less celebratory, but it does not take away that this is "our" day.

                                         I wish you, one and all, a Happy and Safe Gay Pride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, June 26, 2020

Who Knew Esther Was The Butch One????????????????????????


                                            Girls, Amy Sedaris' "First Dates" show was such a brilliant send up of the 1960's Olivia de Havilland movie, "Lady In A Cage" that I now am going to have to see the actual movie.  But the real treat was the visit with Ruth and Esther.

                                              I know that Ruth, who acts as spokesperson is "The Lady Who Lives In The Wood," her toilet is a hole in the mud, but she is so passive aggressive, it is no wonder Esther sulks.

                                                This week, a new Esther emerged.  Esther, who always has beautiful hair, and looks like something out of Jane Austen, especially when dressed in white, took charge .  She wanted a television--I don't blame her--and Ruth said "No!"  So, Esther gets up, leaves, saying, "Well, I am going to a sports bar, where there is television."  Then, we hear the car speeding off.

                                                   Who knew either heard of sports bars?  Or owned a car, let alone drive one?  There is more than meets the eye, here.   I bet Esther has built a modern bathroom in the woods, where only she can use it, as opposed to Ruth's "natural," disgusting, one.  I am not even getting into the questions I could ask, here.

                                                     Michael Shannon did his standard thing in the movie spoof, playing the James Caan role.  He was perfect, but Amy carried the show.  Even the Wine Lady showed up.

                                                      But that Ruth and Esther.  We need to see more of them!

                                                     

Better Than A Course In Botany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                         Not since Elizabeth Gilbert's "The Shape Of All Things," has a novel, dealing with aspects of science, engaged me.  Set in rural Appalachia, "Prodigal Summer" skillfully interweaves the stories of three women--Deanna, a middle-aged spinster, but not repressed, who works as a park ranger, and lives a solitary rural life, straight out of Thoreau.  Then there is Lusa, recently widowed, and close to, if not possessing a Ph.D. in Entomology.  She has to deal with her husband's less educated, borderline, White Trash family, and the touching chronicle of how she does and finds herself, is the best part of the book.  Then, there is Garnett Walker, and his next door neighbor, Nannie Rawley, and how they come to terms.

                                           Having previously read Dickens, finding something afterward is, admittedly a tough act to follow.  "Prodigal Summer" is perfect; it is satisfying American fiction, the language is gorgeous and compelling, as are the characters.  And, like Dickens, by the end everything is interconnected.  But I am not going to tell you how.  That would spoil things.

                                              This is one of my best recent reads, and I recommend highly.

                                               Then, go out, and thank Mother Nature, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Story Of Grace Budd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                   The story of Grace Budd is also that of Albert Fish, who, when paths collided, ended her life in this residence, known as Wisteria Cottage, located in Westchester, New York.  Grace is not the Bitch Of The Week; she is the victim.  Albert Fish, who should be accorded a higher position in Serial Killer History, for his depravity, is, hands down the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.

                                     He started out bad.  Born to a semi-respectable family in Washington D.C. on May 19, 1870, many of his relations were mentally ill.  His mother had auditory and visual hallucinations.

                                     His mother, Ellen, and father, Randall, were 43 years apart.  When Albert was born, Randall was 75.  Randall died at 80, when Albert was 5, so his mother placed him in St. John's Orphanage. Of course, over time, John began to enjoy the abuse, sometimes sporting erections during beatings.  The other boys laughed.  His depravity was just beginning.

                                      Four years later, his mother came and took him out of there.  It might have been a mistake.  Because, during this time he hooked up with some teen or young adult telegraph boy, who taught him all sorts of nasties--like drinking urine, and eating feces!  I know, EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I would love to know the history of this young man; I bet he is an unacknowledged member of Serial Killer Legacy, whose crimes are not known.

                                         Albert arrived in New York City,  in 1890, working as a painter.   There had been crimes and victims over the years that had gone unnoticed.  One was the son of a Staten Island policeman, a Port Richmond boy named Francis McConnell  His parents reported him missing on July 24, 1924.  His body was later found, hanging from a tree, in a nearby woods.  He stripped the boy of some of his flesh, and was going to castrate him, when he heard noise, and stopped.

                                             Nice, huh?
Fish's "crowning achievement," if one can call it that, was his murder of Grace Budd, in the  house pictured above.  On May 25, 1928, Fish saw an ad by a young man, requesting to do farm work in the country.  It appeared in "The New York World," Sunday edition.  Fish decided to answer the ad, and visited Delia and Albert Budd, meeting Edward, at their home on 406 West 15th Street, in Manhattan.
He was immediately taken with Edward, who requested to bring his friend, Willie.  After meeting Willie, Fish, posing as a grandfatherly type, named Frank Howard, at 58, had intended to make both boys his victims, but when Grace walked into the room, all that changed.  As he would later say, recalling that moment, "I wanted to eat her."


Fish managed to ditch the boys, but, several days after this visit, returned and requested of Albert and Delia Budd to allow him to take Grace to his niece's birthday party in Manhattan on Columbus Avenue and 135th Street.  Delia was smart, and hesitated, but Albert persuaded her to let Grace go; it would do her good.  How sad and guilt ridden those parents must have been, the rest of their lives.  They never saw Grace again.

Columbus Avenue ends on 110th Street.  There was no such address.  Still feeling she was with a benign, grandfatherly sort, Grace accompanied her killer to a cottage in Westchester, called Wisteria.  He told her to play outside, until he called for her.  While Grace picked flowers, allegedly a "gift" for the "birthday girl," Fish hid in a closet upstairs, removing all his clothes, as he did not want them covered with Grace's blood.  Then he called Grace.

Imagine going upstairs, into a room, shutting a door, and seeing a depraved, naked man leap out of the closet and lunge at you!  Frightened, but smart, Grace screamed and ran down the stairs, but, even at 58, Fish was too fast for her.  He grabbed her, strangled her, stripped her, and then, over a period of nine days, proceeded to eat her body.   In 1934, he actually wrote a letter to the Budds, adding to their torment, detailing what he did to Grace, and what became of her.  His last words were his idea of graciousness, but get this--"I did not fuck her, though I could, had I wished.  She died a virgin."

Yeah, real comfort to grieving parents

Fish was eventually arrested in a rooming house at 200 East 52nd Street.  He denied nothing.  The trial began on March 11, 1935, in White Plains, New York.  This sicko actually admitted that while strangling Grace, he involuntarily ejaculated twice.  Murder for him was sexual.

None of the jurors felt Fish was insane, but deserved the death penalty for what he did, and he was given that sentence.  On January 16, 1936, he died in "the chair," at Sing Sing.  He was buried in the cemetery there.

  
Aside from the lifelong sadness of the Budd families, it was never known how many other families this had been done to, by Fish, as well.

I had vaguely recalled the name, but it never comes to the forefront of serial killers.   A friend mentioned Stephen King had based Fish's deeds for some of Pennywise, The Clown, but I wondered if he inspired Alice Sebold to create George Harvey, while writing "The Lovely Bones."  And certainly one can claim his influence on Hannibal Lecter.
Burn in Hell, you scum!      And may Grace and the others whose life you took find the peace and happiness that eluded them, on Earth!

Girls, You Have GOT To See This One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                              OK, so, last Saturday I told David I wanted to watch something "fun."  You know, where you check your brain in at the door.  He had recorded "It's Alive," which I had heard of but never seen, and let me tell you it is a BAD movie.  Not fun bad, not as humorless as "The Monolith Monsters," but it has to be seen to be believed.

                                 First, writer-director Larry Cohen, whose only known film work this was--and when you see it, the reason will become clear--I feel was out to do some comic riff on Ira Levin's "Rosemary's Baby," which was a hot property several years back, then.

                                  So, he comes up with this story, set in Los Angeles--where John P. Ryan and Sharon Farrell play a couple, Frank and Lenore Davies, who give birth to a mutant baby.  Before I go further, let me say that John P. Ryan was a lifelong member of the Actors' Studio.  Many luminaries were, but what good did it do him?  Sharon Farrell, who plays his wife, Lenore Davies, when young, started out as a dancer in ABT.  Obviously, she did not make it, but ending up here?  Be careful, with a career in the arts, boys and girls!   You never know where it is going to take you.

                                     The only actors of any note in this crap, is Andrew Duggan, and Guy Stockwell, the less talented brother of Dean Stockwell.

                                      But, the mutant baby!  It steals the show!

                                     To believe this story, it must be accepted the thing, which weighs 11 pounds, and is a boy--pretty large for a baby, but not a human--can just leap out of the vagina, never mind cutting the umbilical cord, has teeth and claws, and devours everyone on sight in the delivery room.  It can pull toys a child his size would never be able to, and you have to see the scene where the baby is hiding in the bushes, and you can see the tech moving the wire!

                                       Apparently, this baby can move faster than the adults can!  They are afraid it will go into the LA sewage system, where it will emerge from to kill anyone.  During the course of all this, it is discovered that the baby has been sequestered at the Davies house, because Lenore has been bonding with it, feeding it and tending to it.  In fact, it bonds to all the Lenore family!  So, they rush to the sewage system, and, in a scene right out of "THEM!," (visually, that is), Frank and a doctor plead with authorities not to kill the infant, who has feelings, and a doctor wants to study it.  But, in a moment straight out of today, trigger happy cops open fire, killing the doctor and the infant.
                                             But, in an ending straight out of 1959's "The Giant Behemoth," the news broadcasts that a new mutant baby has been born--in Seattle.  These embryos know their prime cities, I will tell you that!
Isn't this baby cute?

I just have to end this post with Buzz Clifford's "Baby Sittin' Boogie!"

Friday, June 19, 2020

How About Amy's Travel Show, Darlings?????????????????


                                 We got to see Nutmeg!  And Amy and Chassie, packing and then trying to get out the door simultaneously--hilarious.  But the piece de resistance was the musical number, with everyone seeing Amy off, even Lesbo, while Amy sang a farewell tune set to Cohan's "It's A Grand Old Flag!"  Though I would have preferred if she had sung Cole Porter's "Bon Voyage", from
"Anything Goes!"

                                   But charm and tenderness are both specialties of Amy.  If only Ruth and Esther had been on hand.  Will we ever see them again???????????????????

                                     We can only wait till next week, and the next show!

                                      Meanwhile, I STILL need a hair stylist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wasn't Amy Sedaris' Easter Show Charming??????????????????????


                         I loved the blending of secular and religious aspects.  I so wanted to open with a picture of Amy, in Biblical garb--as Mary Magdalene, maybe?--rolling back the stone from the tomb, and out pops a pink Easter bunny!   Girls, no one brightens a day, or holiday, like Amy Sedaris.  If only she could split into infinities so she could visit everyone who would want her to celebrate with them. Which I know includes all readers on here!

                       But with Patty Hogg, Chassie, and others, the show was superb.  No one crafts like Amy.  She took that talent all the way from kindergarten, I am telling you!

                         I still have to know who does Amy's hair, and her colorful dresses.

                         As Patty Hogg would say, "Amy Lou, what's with you?"

"You'll Wish That Summer Could Always Be Here!!!!!!"


                                 Nat Cole sure was right, darlings, but he never imagined a summer like this. Not only are the days in this picture long gone,  I am afraid the day of amusements like Coney Island may be over for good.  I mean, people might, like, have to educate themselves!  Or God forbid, read a book!

                                    This photo embodies so much that has been taken from us by this dreadful pandemic.  And I am still blaming the bat and Gwyneth Paltrow!

                                      I never rode the Parachute Jump in my life, though I have been photographed beneath it--about 30 years ago.  I am sure some of those in my parents' generation rode it, but I can tell you, my parents sure didn't.  My mother fainted on the Cyclone in the Thirties, so there is no way she would have done this!

                                       
You knew I had to get this one in, didn't you??????????????????????

I Thought It Was Time For A FUN Bitch, This Week!


                                   With all that's going on in the world--including health issues I am dealing with--I thought a fun bitch was needed this week.  Which is why I chose Ellen Harper Jackson, played by Betty White, as the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Year Award!

                                       Now, Betty White was so lovable as Rose Nylund on "The Golden Girls."  But both on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and some of the "Eunice Sketches," on "The Carol Burnett Show," she made a great, comic bitch.  If Bea Arthur were here today, she would say this was closer to the real Betty White.  And after seeing her play Ellen, I am beginning to believe Bea.

                                          Ellen Harper was born and raised, with her Mama and siblings in Raytown, Missouri.  She was the cutest, prettiest and most favored.  Mama called her "Sweet Angel Darling," while Daddy Carl called her his "Apple Dumpling."  Eunice was always his "Prune Tart."  No wonder poor Eunice had issues.

                                            Eunice understands what she is stuck in, but so does Ellen, and she does something about it.  The stuck-up usually do.  Unfortunately, as in Ellen's case, she cannot accept that she is only one step removed from Eunice.  She thinks she is a Park Avenue matron!   Eunice summed it up best, in one sketch, by telling her, "Why, to hear you talk, the world would think you lived in the Taj Mahal, instead of a two bit, two story tract house, on the snooty part of a hick town!"

                                              Ellen may have made it out of her Goat Alley neighborhood, but she is never far from it.  And all the references to her husband, Bruce Jackson, indicate Ellen married not only for money, but she also married a great big old closet case!  Love had nothing to do with it, darlings!

                                                   Ellen's two daughters you just know are being groomed to be snotty, suburban mean girls!  I don't care what relation--mother, mother-in-law, sister, sister-in-law,, cousins, there is an Ellen somewhere in every family.  Why, some of my biological cousins--especially those of the Liddy faction--are Ellens themselves, thinking they are so great because of what they escaped from, while I am the gay, homosexual outcast!  Well, maybe I am better off!  Toot your own horns, if you want to, kids, I am still better than you!

                                                     You have to hand it to Betty White.  When she played Ellen, she embodied every aspect of every relative you did NOT want to come knocking on your door!

Remember When We All Used To Call It "Sale Of Two Titties?????????????????"


                                I learned that in seventh grade, when I was reading "Up The Down Staircase," darlings!  I also remember the students calling "Silas Marner" "Silly Ass Marner."

                               The other thing I learned from Bel Kaufman's book was the best written excuse for not handing in an assignment--"My dog pead on it."

                                 But we are here to discuss Dickens' "A Tale Of Two Cities."  Now, before I go on, let me say this is a milestone for me; having never read it hitherto, it was the last Dickens book I had to read.  Now, I can honestly say I have read all of his works.

                                  I never got 'Tale' in school.  Those in the advanced class, like myself, where you DO think, as opposed to the regular and dumb classes where one is not permitted to--and this is still the case today, dolls--got the better textured "Great Expectations."  It became, and still is, one of my favorites.

                                    I had seen the MGM Ronald Colman movie when I was a kid.  Yes, in the book it's all there--"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," and, of course "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far, better rest that I go to than I have ever known."

                                    And, yes, of course there is Madame Defarge, whose first name, it is discovered, is Theresa.  How I love that crazy, crafty, bitch!!!!!!!!!!!  I am dying to play that role on stage!  Amy Sedaris should have her on her show in "Crafting Corner."

                                     Yes, girls, all that you know and have heard about this book is true, and here.
But what you do not know is that, while this is one of Dickens' shortest books, (390pgs.)  all the really good  stuff is not till almost the end, because Dickens gives us  so much exposition on the difference between the two cities--London and Paris--and the Darnay and Evremonde  families.  And Sydney Carton, whom may be described as an anti-hero turned hero at the end--is not as present as one might expect.

                                            So, I found this book, which I had preconceived, to have big surprises.  Not the least of which was the rampant pace at which this was written.  Dolls, I read this one with the speed and alacrity that I would contemporary fiction. I simply could not put it down.

                                              And if you are not crazy about it, the last two chapters are worth it!

                                             Knit one, pearl two, darlings!

                                              Greetings from Madame Defarge!

Friday, June 12, 2020

Wouldn't This Be Perfect For The Pavillion, In A Remake Of "Carnival Of Souls?????????????????"


                                 Of course, imagine this picture in black and white, which is how the remake would have to be shot.  I wonder where one would find another Candace Hilligoss, and then it came to me--how about Celia Keenan-Bolger?

                                  A remake of this film could be interesting with the right lead and set design.  Of course, the original will always win out, but just think of the exciting possibilities.

                                   This is actually an abandoned Disney World Attraction.  You know how much I love abandoned amusement parks, of all kinds!

                                    Which is why "Carnival Of Souls" is a perfect fit for me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gojira Sends Everyone A Message Of Hope!

                                        That is right; our lovable reptile, friend, Gojira, wishes health and safety to everyone, and if you need help, just ask him for it.  Gojira may be a monster on screen, but off screen he is lovable and a humanitarian.

                                           He is always concerned about the children, who all love him.  Beginning Monday, June 22, the longest day of the year, he will start swimming in Brooklyn Bay.  So, if you are out on the esplanade early in the day, gave him a wave!  He would love to wave back!

                                             You are loved by all, Gojira!

I Always Knew Lea Michele Was A Bitch! So, It Is Time She Became Bitch Of The Week!


                                     Just look at this photo, darlings!  This is the face of a true bitch.  Those eyes are saying "I am better than you, and watch out I don't step over you, stupid!"  Well, the same to you, Lea, winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award.

                                      I had always wanted to see an episode of "GLEE," where Naya Rivera, as Santana Lopez, whom I relate to, darlings, smacked Lea as Rachel across the face!  The bitch way that Lea played Rachel; the false smile, the phony niceness, I just knew Lea was playing herself!

                                        I should know.  I went to school with a whole bunch of Rachel Mayberrys.

                                        Of course, Rachel got her comeuppance during the 2010 or 2011 TONY Awards, when she disgraced herself, failing miserably on doing "Don't Rain On My Parade, after having been touted for a revival of "Funny Girl!"  Well,  that will never happen!  For one thing, dolls, I am still in the running for that role, which I have wanted since the age of 9.  Never mind how long ago that was!

                                            Lea's career tanked pretty much after that.  Yeah, there was "Scream Queens," but so what?  What I would like to know is why everyone is bitching about Lea now?  She's been so low profile she barely exists.  But I am glad to see her get her comeuppance.

                                               Take this photo, blow it up in size, and throw darts at it!

Maybe I Just Don't Dig Margaret Atwood!



                                            This book has been, understandably, compared to "The Handmaid's Tale," and I get it, but I was not blown away by the seminal work, or have read any other of her books, so  I do concede I should give her a chance.

                                              That said, I loved "Women Talking."  It reminded me of Atwood's book and the tiniest bit of "The Crucible."  A group of women gather secretly in a barn, with a male outcast named Austin, to plan their escape from their Mennonite colony.  You see, the women were starting to have horrific hallucinations about demons assaulting them, sexually.  It wasn't demons; just demonic men in the colony.  Now, the women are not allowed to leave the colony, so the men are free to do what they want.  Even incest.  And Austin is looked down on, because he is not a skilled farmer, which in the men's eyes makes him a homosexual--even though there is no proof--whom they feel should be driven out.

                                               This info is conveyed throughout the course of their novel, as the women plot their escape.  Things move along at a leisurely and predictable pace, but the heart is the women taking back their power, and deciding to leave this oppressive environment.

                                               Those Mennonites.  It's like those women on the current Inogen commercial, when the announcer says "you can start attending religious services again."  From what I can see, these are not religious services but cult meetings.  The Mennonites are a cult.  And cults are hard to escape from.

                                                    Read this engrossing work  of fiction.  It is extremely thought provoking.

We Have A New Reader, Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                            I see the follower indicator is now at 109, so it is time to welcome Kristy McCullers to this blog.  I wonder if Kristy is related to Carson McCullers, one of my favorite writers?
Did she have any known relations?

                                             Anyway, Kristy, welcome; I don't know how you found your way here, but I am glad you did.  As you may have heard, this blog goes great with coffee--as does Sunday morning viewings of "Valley Of The Dolls!--so I hope you find things on here informative and entertaining.  And you are always welcome to comment.

                                                 Glad to have you, Kristy, and now let me welcome you, with the blog's unofficial theme song!

                                                  Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Girls, Don't Let This Happen To You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make Sure You Use A Good Skin Cream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                As if our internal bodies, darlings, were not being picked at by a pandemic, with the sun higher in the sky, and for longer, this time more than any other of the year, it does a real number on the skin.  That is why I cannot stress the use of a good skin cream
Here is what I use, darlings!  In the morning (with a 100 plus sun screen) and at night as a hand cream.

Now, I am asking you, would Lee Radziwill forget to do this?  Here is one of the many methods that help made Lee, well, ……….Lee!

We cannot be all Lee, girls, but we can look our best!

Better than "The Leech Woman," up there!

Wait till you see what she turns into!
So, use that skin cream, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How About Amy's Outdoor Entertaining Show?????????????????


                                    Oh, girls, wasn't it just scrumptious?  Amy in her colored dresses, a water melon cake, Sun Tea, which I am dying to try, and best of all, an appearance by Ruth and Esther.  Who seem to be having problems, which amount to, I think, they cannot decide whom is the more controlling lesbian.  Control is key in the lesbo world, and there cannot be two alphas.   Whereas, in Gay Male life, one is the Princess, while the other....well, he just listens to what the Princess says.  And is generally more handy!

                                       Speaking of Lesbo, he was there, along with my favorite, Patti Hogg.  As was guest Darrell Hammond as a homophobic patriarch, and Fred Weller, who just played Mr. Ewell in the original Broadway cast of "To Kill A Mockingbird"--you know, the one with Celia!!!!!!!!!!!!!--turns up as an itinerant drifter, who catches Amy's eye--and some of ours, girls, and acts like he is doing a riff on James Dean in "Giant!"

                                           But I cannot wait to sample that Sun Tea, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           And, Amy, please tell us, who does your dresses and hair????????????????

Why Didn't They Just Go To The Local Pharmacy, And Get A Stool Softener??????????????


                                  To start with, girls, I do not know if stool softeners were available, when this film was released, back in 1957.  I expected more from it.  Universal, who scored big with "Tarantula," and "The Deadly Mantis," designed a better poster than made a movie.

                                    Where do I start?  Well, when seen on screen, in black and white, the monsters look like giant, walking turds.  Unfortunately, they don't do much, and that is the only bit of humor in the film.  Grant Williams and Lola Albright, act like they are working with Kazan, when they should have been over the top, and their love scenes are as chaste as a sixth grade--in my day--dance.  I am not saying clothes should have been ripped off, but show a little enthusiasm, guys!

                                        The solution to the problem was so obvious, even David and I figured it out.  And we are not in any science field.

                                          There are constant shots of cars speeding over a highway alongside desert land that I swear was used in both "Earth Vs. The Spider," and "THEM!" In fact, it probably was.  Those two were superior to this.

                                           Not good enough to be quality, not campy enough to be fun, "The Monolith Monsters" stands alone.  Even the most dedicated horror fan will not want to see this one a second time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pretty Good, For A Debut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                    Don De Lillo has always been a mixed bag with me , girls!  I was not crazy about "Libra," or "White Noise," but I simply loved "Underworld."  "Americana," which I did not know till reading it, was his debut, must have caused a splash at the time, but now fits in with all sorts of road movies, from "Harry And Tonto,' to "Thelma And Louise."

                                       David Bell is Mr. Hot Shot at his New York ad agency.  You know, what so many of my generation was raised to be.  One day he reaches a point, and goes on the road to document his version of the so-called REAL America.

                                         It may seem routine to many, by now, but stick it out for some of the best character monologues this side of playwriting.  In fact, I recommend this book to actors for this reason; some of the monologues in here would be terrific for auditions.

                                           Though it familiarity makes it tedious, the writing makes the trouble of reading it worth it.  Nothing can top "Underworld," but if this is your first De Lillo, it is not a bad beginning.

Friday, June 5, 2020

"Take Weapons Up, And Begin To Kill! Watch The Long, Long Armies Drifting Home!"


                                    I mean, girls, hasn't it been a bitch of a week?

                                    So, my choice for Bitch Of The Week goes out to so many--every one of you who disrupted peaceful protests by looting stores and grabbing the goods for yourselves.

                                      Not just in New York; oh, no, dolls, everyone across this nation of ours!

                                      You dumb bitches!  Don't you know Trump gets off on you guys and gals!
He jerks off and ejaculates onto the TV as he sees you.  But, first he has to take his ED injection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         And what do you do with this stuff? Sell it for a profit, instead of fixing up your filthy Bronx apartments--which is where the NYC contingent is from--where there is shit still on the bathroom floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         As Bette Davis said in 'Baby Jane'--"STOP IT!

                                         Just stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy National Donut Day, Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                Today is National Donut Day, so for those of you who have not, yet, I want you to go out to your local donut shop, and buy one donut!  Just one donut!

                                   Because one donut is all we are allowed to eat, all year!

                                   And do you want to know why?  Huh? Do you?
That is right, darlings!  A donut is a bullet to the heart!

Did you hear me?

A DONUT IS A BULLET TO THE HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy National Donut Day, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was Thornton Wilder Well Hung?????????????????????????????


                                   Now, that I have your attention, girls!  In case you've been following, we are up to June 4.  That is the night I had this crazy dream where I was trying to answer the titular question.

                                    I was a grad student in some lit course, and we were studying Thornton Wilder.  In the dream, the professor said everything was known about him, but his penis size!

                                     Girls, I am telling you, I was never sure Thornton Wilder had a penis!  I never knew if he was gay or straight.  All I know is I still have not appeared in a production of "Our Town," and am waiting to do so.  I guess I am fine for the cemetery scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       So, now I know Wilder was straight, married, and had two children, a girl named Catherine Dix, and a boy named Amos Tappan.  His wife was named Catherine Kerlin, and they wed in 1935!  I am guessing he had a penis, though that is not 100% confirmed, though he did marry and have children.   But I have no idea of its length or circumference.

                                          My poor husband, David.  I awoke him in the middle of the night, babbling about Thornton Wilder.  But I did not say what it was!  Good thing, or David would not have gone back to sleep!  And no, I am not having delusional fantasies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   If I were, I certainly could do better than THIS!

                                          Anyone out there who can tell me?

"It Was The Third Of June, Another Sleepy, Dusty, Delta Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                                  That is right, girls, "nothin' ever comes to no good up on Choctaw Ridge!"

                                  On this day, Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallhatchie Bridge!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Does the jumping cat signify what I always suspected--that Billy Joe and the girl narrator were throwing a baby off the bridge?  An abortion or miscarriage?

                                    I have always believed that, hons!  Let me know what you think.  And don't give me any references to Robbie Benson, or Glynis O'Connor!

                                      Let Bobbie Gentry tell the story for you!  Only she knows, for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"June Is Bustin' Out, All Over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


                               Of course, this is the other song of the month, immortalized for me by the Justin Peck choreography and the voice of Renee Fleming doing the best rendering of "June Is Bustin' Out All Over" I have ever seen or heard.  It was an honor to have seen this live!

                                So, of course, I am going to try and bring it up, for you, to hear.

                                And here it is!  Renee and Company to perform it for you!  Listen to what REAL Musical Theater, and REAL voices are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!