Thursday already, darlings, and true to form, just when you think a winner will not be selected, one will appear, though the reasons for this distinction go farther back than what was in the press recently.
The winnoer of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is----Lindsay Lohan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Some of my girls may wonder, "Why?' Others may ask, "How come she hasn't turned up soone?"
Well, to start with, Linsay had been keeping a low profile, but that was till the other day, when a source leaked she had acquired yet another arrest warrant for her misbehavior related to alcohol. Honey, even JUDY (Garland) did not tank this fast. So this was enough to put her in the public eye and give her serious condiseration. But The Raving Queen, whom I will have you know, is America's Most Homosexual Homosexual, has a memory that just will not quit. At least for now. And that memory hearkened back to when Lindsay was filming Robert Altman's "A Prairie Home Companion." Listen up, girls!!!!!!!!
It seems that on that set there were the ususal highjinks from Lindsay. Poor Altman, who certainly knew how to deal with actors of all sorts--look at "Nashville", darlings--had his hands full. So two of his leading ladies, Miss Lily Tomlin, and the Divine Meryl Streep, took Lindsay aside for some girl talk. They basically told her that if she wanted to last in the business, let alone make it out of her twenties, she had better straighten up and fly right!!!!!!!!!!! To think that two actresses, one our World's Best, took Lindsay aside out of compassion and consideration. But now comes the reason why she is this week's Bitch Of The Week!!!!
She did not listen!!!!!!!!!!
Not to Lily Tomlin. And worse yet--NOT TO THE DIVINE MERYL STREEP!!!!!!!!!!
Honey, if Meryl Streep tells you to do something, YOU DO IT, because this comes from such a font of knowledge and inspiration. Look at her career. And the woman has raised three daughters, none of whom behave this way, so she knows her stuff when it comes to girls. Of course she does, loves! Because Meryl can do anything!!!!!!!
But that bitch Lindsay just would not listen. And look what it is gotten her now. Meryl must be shaking her head in exasperation. But not to worry, girls. Anyone with the hubris to ignore the warnings of LA DIVINE MERYL is not destined to be around for awhile. So think about that, bitch!!!!! We just lost Britney Murphy this year; Miss Lohan has been an accident waiting to happen for a long time, and that time is cropping up closer and closer.
So we salute Lindsay as our Bitch Of The Week. We would like to wish her many more, but many is not a word that seems destined for her vocabulary. Meanwhile, girls, should MERYL give you a piece of advice, you had better damn well heed it. I always do what MERYL says.
Till next week, darlings, because there are more bitches, known and not, waiting in those wings!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ta ta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are fabulous and, as always, on the mark!
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