Darlings, I Am An On-Call Bitch!!!!!!!

Girls, let me tell you, doctors and nurses are always on call, as my mother (who was an R.N.; that is, Registered Nurse, not recurring neurotic) could attest to, as could my sister, who followed in her footsteps!!!!! Lawyers are always on retainer, too, so why not bitches????

A good Bitch can sometimes be as helpful as a Good Samaritan. And, of course, will look more glamorous!!!! I cannot tell you how many times I have listened to the plight of some of my friends, with deep empathy and caring. So much so, that, when truly concerned, I lean forward, and murmur, "Do you need me to be a Bitch?", in which case, if the answer is "Yes," the source of their pain will be Bitched by me till only the bones are left!!!!!! Now, not too many of my friends take me up on this--perhaps they are afraid of my bitchiness, or maybe of being implicated in something deeper. So I am putting the word out now--The Raving Queen is available to be a Bitch for anyone truly in need. All you have to do is comment on here, saying you need me to be a Bitch, and state the reasons why. I will get back to you, and then, honey, things will get taken care of by this Bitch, let me tell you!!!!!

So, if you need a Bitch, look no further, and think of moi as your On Call Bitch!!!!! I stand ready to tear apart all tormentors everywhere!!!!!!!

Dump them in a Laura Ashley trash bin, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!