Thursday, January 27, 2011

Darlings, This Bitch Can't Even Face Herself In The Mirror!!!!!!!!!!



Girls, let me tell you, when you can't face yourself in a mirror, THAT is a bitch!!!! At least after the last two ugly dudes I bought you, we have a trace of glamour. But this bitch is also "heartless and cruel."

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch of the Week award is the Wicked Queen from "Snow White." Which, of course, is Disney's "Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs," his groundbreaking 1937 animation classic. Honey, I can tell you this bitch's number, right off. When Snow White's mother died, and her father, the King, searched for a wife, she came on to him, with her glamour and beauty. She probably even showed him a hot old time; I mean, around the world, and all that,but you can bet this was never covered in Grimm's, and it sure as hell was not about to be covered in Disney!!!!! Then, after the honeymoon, she clamps up, and things get down to business. The King is stuck with a shrew, she hates Snow White for her youth and purity, her Magic Mirror lies to her all the time, telling her she is the fairest of them all, when, let's face it, she is so NOT. Which proves that the Magic Mirror was a big old gay thing himself!!!!! He probably thought himself the fairest, but at least he did not want to kill Snow White.

Which the bitch Queen does, and tries to, but she gets her comeuppance, reducing herself to an ugly old crone (now the Mirror is fairer than she, for sure!!!!), striking out with the Poisoned Apple routine, and being chased by those dwarfs (who dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig waddda wadda wo!!!!) till she plunges into a bottomless gulch, disappearing forever. I always thought that meant she spent Eternity falling. Good for her!!!!!!!

But at least for three fourths of the story she has that glamorous aura, which is why she is being honored as Bitch of the Week. One of Fiction's classic characters, one of Disney's iconic villains, I would love to see the Wicked Queen lock horns with Anna!!!! I bet it would be a draw, or Anna would tear her apart.

My friend Steven could play the Queen's role, even though he is a lamb!!!!! Nevertheless, whenever we greet each other, we always call out, "You vicious Queen!!!!!!"

Hope all my Queens are vicious today!!!! Enjoy your day off, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!

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