Monday, January 10, 2011

Girls, I Think Katie May Have Been On To Something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Darlings, after our Joan Baez adoration yesterday, the spirit of Joan still inspires, because due to what I must soon face, I am reminded of this quote by Joan--

"You don't get to choose how you die, or when. You can only choose how you live. Now."

Wise words from the Madonna who descended from on high. So I am going to follow Joan and live to the fullest!!!!!!!!

Which brings me to Katie Couric. Quite a segue from Joan. Now, for some Katie may be considered "America's Sweetheart," especially when she was on the "TODAY" show. Back in the day when she was at NBC, and I knew some folk there, I often heard her referred to as "America's Cunt!"

Now, remember back when Katie telecast live her own colonoscopy???? Her taste was questionable, but her heart was in the right place. Well, being of a Certain Age, girls, it is time for the Raving Queen to have another one (which I had awhile back, even though my PROFESSIONAL age is still 24!!!!!!!!!!). Would I have mine televised???? Are you kidding?????? At least put me in a designer hospital gown!!!!!!! But, while pondering the possibilities, I came up with a wonderful idea.

Wouldn't it be FABULOUS if the Metropolitan Museum of Art did and exhibition called "Famous American Colonoscopies????" That is, in a room there, you post the Medical Pics of each colonoscopy, with the person identified underneath. For example-- Meryl Streep, Joan Baez, Blythe Danner, Amy Adams, Stanley Tucci, Donna McKechnie, etc. That way, yours truly and all MY girls would truly be inspired to go out and get this procedure we all dread to have. And it would be more attractive than Katie's broadcast, since all we are looking at are med pics, not those of the silver thing going up each person's love passage!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, my girls know something about having things up their love passage. So, what is the difference????? Well, I can tell you; it is what you have to go through the night before, and that God awful stuff you have to drink. So here are some ideas--for each mouthful of this stuff you swallow, gargle with some mouthwash to get rid of the taste enough to ready you for the next dose. And while you struggle to get this down, think of when this will be over, and how many Margaritas you will have to block this out!!!!!!!!!!! I am starting to think already, girls, and I have not been to my doctor yet for my preliminary talk. I go on Wednesday!!!!!!

Oh, and if you need inspiration beyond Katie and Joan, here is something from yours truly, the Raving Queen, a little something I cooked up on my first visit several years ago. It is set to the tune of Disney's "Jungle Book," and goes like this--

"Go get a colonoscopy, a simple colonoscopy!
Stick that shiny, silver thing, inside of me!"

We will be SO at our freshest, after we are done, girls!!!!!! Think about that!!!!!!!! As well as what can be done with some veggies beside eating them!!!!!!!!

Up yours, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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