Darlings, Life Was Much Simpler Back In The Days When I Wanted To Be Jacqueline Susann!!!!!

Girls, no one could ever accuse me of NOT having literary ambitions--after all, what does this blog prove???--but, while I aimed high, I never aimed where one might expect. As early as my teens, I remember thinking, "To Hell with Proust and Joyce!" I mean, they are great writers, and I LOVE reading them, but they hardly enjoyed anything in their lifetime. And I wanted it all, darlings--like Valerie Bertinelli in "I'll Take Manhattan." Only without the consequences.

For a time, Garace Metalious was my role model, with "Peyton Place." I had, and still have, plenty of stories to tell about my hometown, Highland Park, New Jersey, but, unfortunately, for me, Grace got there first.

Then along came Jacqueline Susann!!!!!!!

Of course, reading "Valley Of The Dolls" was a life changing experience. I mean, when I first read it, I can still recall the passage where Neely says to Anne (pay attention, girls, because this is NOT in the movie), "And, Anne, guess what? He went down on me!" At that point I thought, "Down on WHAT???" I had no idea; I was twelve years old!!!! And somehow I sure as Hell knew I could not ask my parents. I am not so sure they would have known anyway. I mean, there were no more children after me!!!!!

But this novel inspired me. I was going to write a blockbuster bestseller, get on the Times list, move to Hollywood with a pool, the whole works!!!! Now, Jackie covered show biz, television and fashion in her books. At this age, the only thing I was fit to cover was education. Would you believe I came up with a novel I called "The Teachers," which would reveal the sordid truths about the instructors purportedly teaching me??? Of course, it was fictional, because my real life instructors were too ugly to even be thought of as sexual!!!! I can recall my outline where I said the theme was--"Mainly sex, alcoholism, prostitution, smoking!! " I have to laugh about it now. How does smoking figure as a literary theme???? A plot element, yes, but a theme????? A good thing my poor parents had no idea what I was working on.

I think, as I write this now, the better novel would have been my ambitions and the results I thought would materialize from writing this book. I also wanted to go to elegant literary parties, and wear expensive clothes like Jackie Susann in the picture above.

Some of it I did, some not. But Jackie paid her price, too, and I am not so sure I would be so willing. I mean, no way would I ever sleep with Ethel Merman!!!!!!

Such carefree days when I thought all I had to do to get a house with a pool was put words on paper!!!!! I wonder what Jackie would say about that???? And Gore Vidal, who is still alive!!!!!!!!!!

So if this blog is my legacy, so be it!!!!!! Sometimes the ambitions we have develop differently from the way we had them!!!!!!!

Just make sure you dress as elegantly as Jackie, loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!