Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Girls, I Have A Shocking Confession To Make!!!!!!!!!!



Darlings, with Thanksgiving just two days away, and that dreaded Black Friday three, it may seem an odd time to confess the following, but things pop up where they may, with me!!!!! About Black Friday, let me ask--who are these people out there at 3am to get into a store, be it Neiman Marcus or Walgreen's???? You can be sure the crowds that do this each year tend more to the latter than the former, as they are all residents of whatever version of Goat Alley they crawl out from each year to do this. I would not be caught dead in either on this particular day, and thank God each year, especially on THIS day, I do NOT work in retail, and pray compassionately, for those who do. In fact, Black Friday marks the official day when I will NOT set foot in a store of any kind until January 2, when all the hoopla has died down. Which is funny what I am going to muse on, with this time so period so near!!!!!!!!!

But, girls, I have to be honest, I am the Raving Queen, have lived in New York City 28 years (as of December 1) and.......I have never been to Bergodorf Goodman's!!!!!!

I mean, I have never even walked through there!!!!!!!!! Let alone had my hair done in their salon, which, by next year will be corrected, I can tell you!!!!! Nor have I ever dined in their restaurant, which is SO unique, darlings, it is where the Ladies Who Lunch actually lunch, because you can actually get things like dishes made with truffles on the menu!!!!!!!!! So, you know, darlings, I just HAVE to be seen there, and ultimately WILL!!!!!!!!!!



I am told there used to be a spectacular Books Department on the top floor, and if that is still true, you know I will go and hang out there. Probably spot Joan Didion, leaning against some magazine rack, looking to see what masochist buys her latest work, because, let me tell you, a dose of Joan is about as cheering as a dose of Sylvia Plath!!!!! Not to minimize Joan's grief; it is amazing she lived through it all to be still here, even though, subsisting on a diet of alcohol and cigarettes (she wouldn't be the first to do this; hell, half the people in theater do, only they take other meds to keep them energetic!!!!), she looks like a corpse!!!!!!! Even worse than Joan Rivers!!!!!! But if there IS a book department, I would expect to see Didion there, after nursing down a Bellini from the restaurant/bar!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, how do I squeeze this in to everything else I have to do??? This is a challenge to be met, darlings, even if it can be only met with a Bloody Mary or Bellini!!!! Maybe both!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Monsieur and I may need BOTH to get through Thanksgiving with my Father, my Sister, and.....Monsieur's Uncle Ernest!!!!!!!! Stay tuned here, lambs for a full report!!!!!!!!!!!!

And may your only Thanksgiving Parade be the one you watch in the comfort of your living room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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