Darlings, let me reassure you, I had never heard of this book, or its author, till several weeks ago. But one night, Monsieur walked into the house, with something he had found on the street, which caught his eye, in terms of both of us, but especially moi--a mint condition of a book from several years back, by Plum Sykes, called "Bergdorf Blondes!!!" As I was fully committed at the time to a slew of rather highbrow literature, I told Monsieur to give it a try!!!!! He did, but quickly put it aside, saying he could not handle the acronyms, or its faux tone!!!!!! So, it went on my immediate "To Be Read" pile.
Let me backtrack, and say that several years back, having just seen the movie version of "Advise And Consent" (where Don Murray plays a suicidal homosexual--back then, in the early Sixties, was there any other kind???--and which is recognized historically as marking the screen debut of the Gay Bar!!!!!) I was all psyched to read the Alan Drury book, on which it was based. It made me think of a high school classmate of mine, also named Alan, who, consigned by his religion to spend Yom Kippur in his home, would commemorate spending that day during his teen years by annually reading an Alan Drury novel in his room!!!! Back then, in the 70's, you could find more of his books around. Today, about the only one that survives is "Advise And Consent."
Several summers ago, I was walking down a street with my friend, Harvey, en route to our then current dining spot, the world famous Malibu Diner, when I spotted something yellow, staring up at me. Picking the object up, I noticed it was the dust jacket of a hardcover book--and that book happened to be "Advise And Consent"!!!!
I mean, how serendipitous can you get??????
But the book Monsieur brought home wasn't anywhere on my Reading Radar, which posed the question of how or when I would fit it into my vast reading schedule. Providence came to the rescue, because, after reading "The Art Of Fielding," with all its referencing of Melville's "Moby-Dick," I started to think about doing a reread of that, which I did!!! As reported, it was work, but well worth it!!!
Now, the thing about reading books that take work is, it is like eating a rich, savory meal. Afterward, you need something light, to cleanse your palette. So, once I finished "Moby-Dick" I knew I needed something light, and what better option could there be than...."Bergdorf Blondes?????"
First of all, its author, Plum Sykes (her real name is Victoria; Plum is a nickname and her chosen nom de plume!!!!!), is a staffer at VOGUE, darlings, and this book has actually BEEN ENDORSED by....oh, my God!!!!!...ANNA!!!!!!!!! On the back of the jacket, you will find, amid the random quotes, one from Miss Wintour!!!! How do you like that, Lauren Weisberger???? You might have fabulous hair, and your first book became a Meryl Streep movie, but neither it, or your subsequent works, have ever been endorsed by Anna!!!!!!!! I bet even Grace (Coddington) read this one, right in front of Anna!!!! She wouldn't have DARED to do that, with "The Devil Wears Prada," though I am sure Grace went home at night, poured herself a drink, picked up that book, and, in the privacy of her home, laughed out loud over it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How about that game board cover, loves???? It just brings back certain memories to me, like Milton Bradley and "Mystery Date"!!!!! This is a game we ALL want to play!!!!!
Besides, being entertaining, the book is vastly educational. Just as "Moby-Dick" was almost an historical text on whaling and its history, circa, 1851, "Bergdorf Blondes" is a manifesto on How To Survive In Present Day New York. Some of these may be familiar to you, but others may not.
1. You cannot get by in this town, without an oxygen facial!!!!!!
2. Breakfast is not breakfast, unless it includes a Bellini or an orange
presse!!!!! In fact, the importance of Bellinis at all times cannot
be under emphasized!!!!!
3. You are nobody in this town, if you do not get a hair appointment with
Arriette!!!! She is the main stylist at the Bergdorf Salon, and,
darlings, there is just no other place to get your hair done!!!!!!
4. When your party calls for flower arranging, your arranger has just
GOT to be Lexington Kunnicutt!!!!!
5. You cannot function properly without a few Personals--
a.) Personal Assistant
b.) Personal Stylist
c.) Personal Shopper
d.) Personal Trainer
6. You absolutely cannot sleep on sheets with LESS than a 400 thread
count!!!!!!!
7. When it comes to wedding gowns, only Vera Wang will do!!!! But,
haven't you heard that from me, already, darlings??? You know,
Vera is designing MY gown right now, even as I speak, and I haven't
even asked her to, yet!!!! But that's Vera!!!!!!!!
8. Your place of residence is always open for discussion, or
relocation, but, in addition, you MUST have a suite at The
Pierre!!!!!!
9. Your clothes closet is not complete without at least one piece
by Marc Jacobs!!!!! And your living room is not acceptable,
unless it has a Christian Liagre table!!!!!!
10. You must accept that while you may indeed find True Love
(as I have, darlings!!!) the other important man that
will figure in your life is going to be Harry Winston!!!!!
I am telling you, I learned SO much from reading this book!!!! It added enormously to what I already do know in MY close to 28 years of Surviving In New York!!!!!!
Now, excuse me, darlings!!!!! Having been turned down by Westbeth, I
must find, for Monsieur and moi, that suite at The Pierre!!!!!!!!!!
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