Girls, it has been a long time since he made an appearance, but earlier this week, he did, and BOY, it was something!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, this is something which has been building up over time. Insanity Wolf made his presence known in the personage of Mr. Carnivore. Now, the thing about Mr. Carnivore which made him dangerous--and which makes all Insanity Wolves dangerous--is that he never seemed, till recently, to be a candidate for such. But it is the ones who never do that turn out to be. Those you expect to snap any second never do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, I guess you could say I work in customer service. And that's customer service, you bitches, not escort service!!!!!!!!!! For heaven's sake, just look at my picture!!!!!!! These days, if I were a paid escort, I would be catering to the nursing home crowd! Which does not interest me. Nor does being the manager of a bunch of overly egocentric poofs interest me, either.
I says this, because Mr. Carnivore has been patronizing my establishment for years; decades probably, and over that time we have always had a cordial/friendly/"How are you today?" kind of relationship. If, for whatever reason he could not be provided with what he was looking for, he would just shrug, thank me, and say he would come back another time.
Until about three months ago. He came in, and I noticed more desperation than friendliness. When I was unable to provide what he needed, he went ballistic, demanding it be provided to him, insinuating it was my fault, I was not doing my job, etc. Then he stormed out.
Well, I thought, "What kind of bug do you have up YOUR ass, darling?" and chalked it up to male menopause, or some such triviality.
But lo and behold, with each succeeding visit, this behavior continued. Even if I came across with what he wanted, he was more curt than friendly. And the other day, he really hit home, partly because I was in a vulnerable place, being overwhelmed and nervous about the prospect of moving to Bay Ridge with Monsieur (it's not Bay Ridge or Monsieur that has me on edge; just the move; if I could snap my fingers like Mary Poppins, there would be no problem, and we would have been there by now), so I was not at my best. When he came in a few days ago, and basically did this routine again, I was ready to balk. First of all, he always seems to come in during the early part of the day, so I almost always get him, so it has gotten to the point that when he spews his venom, it is being personally spewed at me. This may be false, this may be true, I can't deny it all. But it is how I felt, and I am telling you, this time I was just THIS short of going off the deep end. I had to bite my tongue, because, I knew enough about myself at that point to realize if I was to say anything, I would not stop! And when he stormed off, with a rude "Thanks alot!," as I watched him descend the stairs, part of me wanted to run up from behind and push him; I was that angry!
But I did not!!!!!!!!!!!!
It wasn't till the day ended that I realized I had met up with Insanity Wolf!!!!!!!!
I also have to wonder if Mr. Carnivore has his act together, or if that act is beginning to unravel. I have wondered is he is ill, on medication, or lack thereof. Not that I have any right to judge, and I don't, but neither does any of this excuse weird to the point of abusive behavior. Though these might be causes.
Personally, I think it is a sense of his feeling that Time is running out for him. Mr. Carnivore is 64 years old, and painfully gaunt (another reason I wonder about his health) and tries to affect, in dress and appearance, the image of the Earnest Graduate Student; but, honey, his grad school days are gone by at least a good forty years!!!!!!!!!!! He fancies himself a playwright; at one point he gave me a business card, with the idea, I am pretty sure, of collaborating, but, I do my own writing, thank you very much!!!!!!! I have known plenty of aspiring and wannabe playwrights in this town--they are a dime a dozen, darlings-- and in some cases I have done readings for them, or attended showcase performances arranged by them. Not so in the case of Mr, Carnivore. He seems to be always writing and working on some project, but to what end? He is always crying poor mouth--about finding a venue, about existence in general, but I have no sense of how he keeps going from day to day. I have never heard him mention any kind of job, not even a part time or nighttime one. And he does not give the impression he is from the moneyed classes.
So, I really have no idea what his story is, nor do I really care. I do care about this change in behavior, because it has gotten to the point where, when I see him entering the vicinity, I dread it!
I never used to feel that way. Nevertheless, I have figured out what I am going to do.
The next time he comes in with his attitude, I will not address him but give him a piece of paper, on which are the names and numbers of my immediate supervisor, and his immediate surpervisor, saying, if he is not satisfied, because he is not getting what he should, then take it up with them!!!!!!!!! And if Mr. C should ask why I am suddenly behaving so rude--which is exactly what I am sure he will ask, because people of this type have no idea when they are being rude or abusive-- I will counter with his behavior over time, and that I am not taking any more of it. I am not Donna Reed as Mary Hatch in the alternate sequence of "It's A Wonderful Life," which is what I am sure he thinks.
So, Insanity Wolf has reared his ugly head again. Forewarned is forearmed!
But I found a perfect cure to calm me that day.
I watched Barbara Bel Geddes in Alfred Hitchocks's dramatization of Roald Dahl's classic story, "Lamb To The Slaughter."
Heh! Heh! Heh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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