Thursday, February 28, 2013

Is This The First Oscar Winning Bitch, Darlings??????????


                         I know, I know, what you were expecting, girls!  You thought I might have saved phone sex sicko Rick Pulley for this column, or at the very least, the Cannibal Cop from New York!!!!!!!!!!  Both are rotten, but rather obvious, whereas this week's winner comes from a surprise source--not only is she an Oscar winner, but a CURRENT Oscar Winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           At the Oscar Party I was at, we all watched, amazed, as Jennifer Lawrence was announced as the winner of the Best Actress Prize!!!!!!!!!  Not my choice, dolls!!!!!!!  We all groaned with sympathy, as the poor dear made her way to the stage, and went SPLAT! on the steps, going up!  Imagine--the greatest moment of your life--and THIS is what you will be remembered for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Except she won't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Because, later on, Jennifer did something even more memorable, which would not only net her Oscar notoriety, but earns her the title as the winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               At the press conference, afterwards, she gave reporters "the bird!"  You know what I mean, girls, the middle finger, the f**k finger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               What a classless bitch!!!!!!!!!!!   Clearly, this 22-year-old has no breeding. Back in the days when Hollywood cared, publicists and confidants (like Jennifer Jones, with Anita Colby!!!!!!) were hired to nurture these performers in terms of proper grooming and behavior.  But all that has gone by the wayside, and you can see the results, with Jennifer!!!!!!!!!!!!!  No Jennifer Jones, she!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She thinks she is so great?????????  Well, let's see how her career holds out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Which reminds me--the scuttlebutt on the street is that Jennifer was also dissing Meryl Streep!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't know, exactly, what she said, but how dare she????????????????  Hey, Jen, let's see how long your career lasts!!!!!!!!!!!  As long as MERYL'S????????????  I don't think so!!!!!!!!!  You will be lucky if you last as long as Jennifer Lopez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   How much more bitch can you get, darlings?????????  Which makes her perfect as this week's choice!!!!!!!!!!  And proves you can dress a sow up, but you can't get class from it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Enjoy the fame, Jen!!!!!!!!!!  Within a year, you will be yesterday's mashed potatoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    

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