"Oh, the Sisters of Mercy, they are not departed or gone.
They were waiting for me, when I thought that I could not
go on.
And they brought me their comfort, and later they brought
me their song.
Oh, I hope you run into them, you who've been traveling on."
--Leonard Cohen, "Sisters Of Mercy"
Long time readers of my blog know I start each Sunday morning, as I did, yesterday, with a cup of coffee, and listening to the commentary, on 1010 WINS, of Sister Camille D'Arienzo. It is to her I post this, hoping it may get to her, and she might do something.
Over the weekend, I learned of the tragic death of Daniel Fitzpatrick, a 13-year-old boy from Holy Angels Catholic Academy, which, I am almost now ashamed to say, is not far from where I live, in Bay Ridge. It seems Daniel, who resided in Staten Island, had been bullied for an inordinately long time there, and while correctly reaching out, nothing was done. He hanged himself, in his home, on August 11, the day before the 27th Anniversary of the suicide of someone I knew. Maybe that is why I reacted so vividly to this. Not since Tyler Clementi, whose sixth anniversary is approaching next month, have I been so upset; I find myself crying for this poor, innocent child.
While I cannot possibly know the whole story, being not involved, it seems this child was picked on for his weight, lack of athleticism, and his low grades. I find the last interesting, because, while I was a good student, I have no recall of those who weren't being picked on for that. It was more social exclusion, in my case. Where academics were concerned, like being omitted from Algebra in eighth grade, or the National Honor Society in high school--which I have never gotten over--it is the teachers I blame, not peers.
I wonder if the school Daniel attended was all boys, because I have heard no reports of bullying from girls, and you all know how mean they can be at this age, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There was also something said about Daniel being asked to repeat the seventh grade again--but at another school. Wonder what is going on there?
One thing I learned from the Tyler Clementi tragedy, and my incessant writing of it, was that the writing helped get out my anger to the point, where, while I may--and still--dislike Dahurn Ravi and Molly Wei, I don't feel the need to demonize them. So I am not going to demonize the school, or anyone connected to it. But I applaud Daniel, in his note, for naming his specific tormentors.
I do hope the Clementis reach out to the Fitzpatricks; they more than any of us can understand what that family is now going through. And, Sister Camille, please, on one of your broadcasts address this in some way that I know you can find of getting points across without hurting anyone. And, please, Sister, may Mary and Jesus have mercy on this poor, innocent boy's soul.
I said all this to Mary on 76th Street, while leaving for work this morning. But I am saying here now to everyone.
Rest In Peace, Daniel. And God bless the Fitzpatricks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The school did try to intervene, but it was in that half-assed non-committal fashion that often does more harm than good. In this case, it apparently drove poor Daniel past his point of endurance.
ReplyDeleteIt seems he wasn't particularly scholarly to begin with: not every child proceeds with alacrity- some need much more time to develop a rhythm or motivation, some just never get a handle on formal studies and later discover a different path to personal success. This school was not set up to deal with such children: if you couldn't keep up, you were toast to both faculty and fellow students.
The administration's response to Daniel being bullied from barely passing into total grade failure was to warn him the bullying would worsen 200% once he was left behind to repeat 7th grade- their suggested remedy being he transfer to a different school where he'd have no prior reputation and could start fresh.
Psychologists with 20/20 hindsight have come out in droves to condemn this approach, warning that this only serves to terrify the bullied child with the threat of an uncertain future environment. Children in this predicament are miserable where they are but even more scared of moving into a new situation ("the devil you know" syndrome).
Apparently it never occurs to any of these adults that the bullying kids need to be smacked in the mouth with a moldy eraser, and if their disgracefully disengaged parents threaten to sue, shove the very same eraser up their asses with a window hook. This type of bullying was unheard of before we graduated thousands of surplus lawyers with nothing better to do than sue everyone in sight over every little thing. Schools are so paralyzed with fear of litigation if they so much as give the fish eye to an obnoxious student, that they let the little bastards do whatever they want to whoever they want. They play the odds and just hope no one dies on their watch. Pitiful.
Rest In Peace, Daniel. Someday you'll be vindicated.
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope Daniel is vindicated. I also hope the bullies and their parents are held complicit in contributing to Daniel's tragic demise.