Gather round, dolls, with your coffee cups!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
57. Dress Differently From The Other Girls In The Office--I really like this one. I mean, while all your coworkers are dressing like Miss Spinster Secretary of 1957, you go the extra mile, coming in with Hermes, and other designers, looking as though you should not be working there, because you look like Lee Radziwill!!!!!!!!!!!! And what would Lee be doing, in a secretarial pool???????????? Are you kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Show everyone how better you are than they!!!!!!!!!!!!
59. Watch Your Vocabulary--This is a tricky one. You don't want to sound too intelligent, because intelligence scares suitors away. You don't want to sound too trendy. You should just sigh, and take all your cues from him, praising his use of big words that you don't know the meaning of, and, before you know it, you will be crossing the threshold of his apartment. But go slow, once you get there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
62. Don't Tell Him About Your Allergies--At least, not until after the wedding, when it it is too late. No one divorced over allergies, but many an engagement can and might break up. Oh, girls, no one wants a Debbie Downer. And if you are a feminist, and read Joan Didion, hide those works when he comes to visit you. Not that he will know who Joan is, anyway. But if he peruses a volume, even he will recognize she is a downer, and that will put the kabash on the romance!!!!!!!!!!!!
64. Buy A Full Length Mirror, And Take A Good Look, Before You Go Out To Greet Him--
Oh, my God! Remember Barbara Bates, as Phoebe, at the end of "All About Eve?" Now, you better believe she had it right, though she was going for Award Gold, not a husband! But this can work for both! She had not just one mirror, but multiples, so she could look at duplicates of herself from every angle! This is the smart way to check yourselves over, girls!!!!!!!!!!!! Then you won't miss a stitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
65. Change The Shade Of Your Stockings, And Be Sure To Keep The Seams Straight!!!!!!!!!--
Men like to look at calves, girls, and I do not mean the bovine kind. I mean, even at the end of the 2005 "Pride And Prejudice," with Keira Knightley, there was Elizabeth Bennett stroking Mr. D'Arcy's calf on the porch, during a rainstorm!!!!!!!!! Horrors! Because--there is NO calf stroking in Jane Austen!!!!!!!!!!!!
But stockings are important. No fish nets, because you do not want to look like a cheap slut, unless you are going to a costume party as Black Canary!!!!!!!!!!!! Sheer flesh and black that show plenty of leg, especially the calves, are the order of the day. Make sure the shoes match! Then, he will not be able to take his eyes off you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's all for now, girls!!!!!!!!!! More tips to come, in the near future!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Find a husband! You can do it, girls!
I mean,,,,,guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WTH did you find that still from "Eve"?
ReplyDeleteThe things you come up with, RQ!
Those of us with the photography bug still remain astonished by this scene decades later: it is nearly impossible to shoot a hall of mirrors effect like this without catching a reflection of the camera and crew, ruining the whole illusion. This was brilliantly pulled off, both technically and emotionally: I get chills every time I see the dozens of Phoebes smugly bowing simultaneously to each other before "The End". You leave the film secure in the knowledge that Eve will get her comeuppance in spades, and a lot faster than it took her to ruin Margot.
Oops, somehow this comment got diverted to your MCalls post instead of the All About Eve post below.
ReplyDeleteSooo... I may as well put a contextual comment under it!
"Vocabulary" is the one lure I've been able to keep my partner on the hook with, so I'm proof positive that a properly deployed vocabulary can indeed get a girl hitched (despite not knowing how to dress for either the office or social appearances).
And BTW, McCalls, hiding your allergies is a bitch...
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you have made good
use of your vocabulary, but then
you were always a bright girl!!!!
The whole McCall's thing is a riot,
and I am going through all the suggestions
to help gay men.
But, in 1958, I was only a toddler.
Did women actually believe this????????
ReplyDeleteRe Phoebe:
Oh, my God, I gasped when I saw it
the first time! What brilliance. I
agree Eve is in for it, which is what
the ending intended, but I wonder.
Phoebe seems more transparent than
Anne Baxter as the naïve Eve, and Eve
as Margo is hardly gracious to Phoebe.
Still, this is one story I would like
to have seen an afterword for.
BTW, in the original Mary Orr short
story, "The Wisdom Of Eve," the entire
thing is narrated by Karen, and in the
last sentence she reveals she is riding
on a train to Reno, Nevada, to divorce
her husvand Lloyd, whom Eve is going
to marry. I cannot recall if Addison
is in the story!