Monday, September 13, 2021

Here Is How To Bring Musical Theater Back To New York!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                        Girls, I am telling you, Theater Queens would flock to it, in droves--"Kill Her, Mommy!," a musical adaptation of the 1980 classic, "Friday The !3th!"


                                           Back in 2005, librettist and lyricist Hunter Bell, along with composers Jon and Al Kaplan did a musical Off-Broadway called "Silence!," based on the book and film, "The Silence Of The Lambs."  I was always sorry I never saw this, and meant to, but I changed my mind today when I saw that Hannibal Lecter's opening number was a solo called "If I Could Smell Your ***t!!!!!!!!"



                                              Imagine, having to sing that?  Or not?  On the other hand, maybe I should track it down; what an attention grabber for an audition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                                                 Of course, what I am proposing would not be as vulgar.  It would go something like  this.



                                                  The whole thing would  take place inside a camp cabin.  The entrance door would be up center, through which characters, especially Mrs. Voorhees" would make their entrances, and exits.  Six beds,  three on each side, would comprise the Camp Chorus.  Boys and girls mixed, all of "Annie" age.



                                                    The songs, at least what I have thought up so far, would go something like this--


                       1.  Opening--"The Ballad Of Barry And Claudette--"  Barry, Claudette, Baby Jason, and Camp Chorus.


          

                        2.  "Hi, Boy!--"Annie (the first present day victim).



                         3.  "They're Opening That Place Again?-- "Trudy and Cafe Crowd.



                       4.  "You're All Doomed!--"  Crazy  Ralph (the role  I would audition for!).



                      5.  "Back To California--"  Alice.



                      6.  "Sleep With Me, Even Though I Am Such  A Loser!--"  Steve Christy.



                     7.  "I'm So Stupid, I'm Gonna Get Killed!--"  Ned.



                     8.  "Strip Monopoly--"  Brenda.



                     9.  "'Oh, Lizzie, Lizzie, You'll Always Be Plain'--"Marcie.



                     10.  "Just A Night On The Town!"--Sandy, The Diner Waitress.



                   11.  "Kill Her, Mommy!--" Mrs. Voorhees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                   12.  "Decapitation Ballet--" Alice and Mrs.  Voorhees.



                   13.  "Finale--" Company, with actress playing Mrs. Voorhees taking bow, with decapitated head,  held in  hand!



                     Hey! "Friday, The 13th!" Thirteen musical numbers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




                     All right, start writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



                     Now,  as for casting, well you've got me as Crazy Ralph!  MY choice for Mrs. Voorhees  would be Ann Morrison, the original  Mary Flynn in "Merrily,' who has the sense of humor, vocal chops, and understanding of parody to pull this off.  Though my age, she looks 20 years younger, which, with all else, would make her the perfect Mrs. Voorhees.



                     How about Celia Keenan-Bolger, as Trudy?



                     Kate Burton, as Sandy, The Diner Waitress.?



                      Victoria Clark, as Diner Customer In  Striped Dress And Cat-Eye Glasses?




                        If this were playing now, I might just flock to it.  Except, I would be too busy on stage,  performing this.  And, of  course,  I would understudy Mrs. Voorhees.



                        "Let's put a show, kids!"  Let's REALLY bring Musical Theater back to New York!



                       More sparkling than "Babes In Arms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

6 comments:

  1. SO perfect!!!
    Let’s get Amy Sedaris involved!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Silence!", OMG! Totally forgot I actually SAW that show!

    Yes, it was quite something. Not as good as the concept or song titles would imply, but still a trippy wacko take on such an iconic movie. That they dared to try adapting it at all earned them kudos: I'm not even sure they had legit authorization from Orion Pictures or Harris. Memory fails, but IIRC it had a great first act and then sorta petered out (possibly because all the good theatrical lines and song inspirations are front loaded at the beginning of the story, after which it becomes a more typical killer-in-the-dark-house thriller not conducive to live staging).

    The "I Can Smell" song was pretty interesting: they forced you to confront the shock value early on, while underneath was a revealing portrayal of Hannibal's instant attraction to Clarice and how it confused the hell out of him. Spoiler alert: he doesn't like feeling confused...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Victoria,
    I would LOVE to have Amy
    involved in this. I think she
    should write it. She is a little
    over the top to play Mrs. Voorhees.
    The audience has to be caught off
    guard by her.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My Dear,
    So you saw "Silence!" I am impressed.
    David and I kept saying we would see
    it, but never got around to it. I will
    try and see if I can track any excerpts
    down on YouTube!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I saw Silence also but the C**** song was the only good one

    ReplyDelete
  6. Marty049,

    Really? Is there a CD available or on
    YouTube? I never heard any of the score!

    ReplyDelete