Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Girls, This Is The Christmas Film You Have GOT To See!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                         Forget "Black Christmas," "The Nightmare Before Christmas," or even "Silent Night, Deadly Night."  "Adult Swim Yule Log," made this year, has them beat.



                         This film is a brilliantly satiric amalgamation of Christmas, "Friday The 13th," and "The Last House On The Left."  It has everything--a genuine Yule Log that milks the opening with holiday music, leading the viewer into a relaxing mood--when boom--all hell breaks loose.


                          If you want bosoms, tramps, psycho mothers, special needs hypersexualized sons, and an unusual fetish, this is the film for you.  Imagine watching this on Christmas Eve.  We watched it on Christmas Night, and it was still a pleasant surprise.


                          After the musical lull, in walks our representative heterosexual couple, Zoe (Andrea Laing) and Alex (Justin Miles).  They think they are in for a cozy, romantic vacation, only to be descended upon by a sheriff and his deputy, who turn out to be in a Southern type KKK cult, where they hang a slave woman (this is in the past) for decapitating her employer, which he deserved.  Then a bunch of groupies descend on them, and this is where Danielle Maximillian, as Holly, gives the film's worth of both tramp and bosoms.  It is a wonder she never disrobes.


                         But the two best performers, are a mother and son act, headed by a Mother (Tory Clark) and her special needs, hypersexual son, named Pleatherface.  Get it?  These two outdo not only each other, but Jason and Pamela Voorhees, and Sante and Kenneth Kimes.  Oh, that Sante Kimes!  Remember when Mary Tyler Moore played her, back in 2004?  What a hoot?  Well, Tory Clark, as Mother, outdoes her.  She is pure feral White Trash, and the scene where she sexually fetishizes Pimento Cheese has to be seen to be believed!  She tops that by forcing it onto Alex in what can only be described as a sexual manner that had me unnerved.   I mean, Pimento Cheese?  How about chocolate sauce?


                             As for Pleatherface, he is always bragging about his "ding dong" and wants to show it to everyone.  Zoe finally gets to see it, and when she does, screams in terror.  The viewer never sees it because it must be SO large.  Like the flying killer Yule Log!


                          There is a shower murder that outdoes "Psycho" (but not artistically), and to top it off, a flying Yule Log that tries to mow down everyone there.  Does anyone survive?  Well, this viewer did, and that is as far as I am going to go, with this.  Isn't this enough?



                             Darlings, I am telling you, it is the campiest.  If only Tallulah Bankhead had been alive to play Mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Next time you have a holiday party during the Christmas season, try this offbeat entertainment!  It is sure to leave your guests gagging or fleeing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                      Darlings, I just LOVED it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




                          

5 comments:

  1. I love old horror camp and cult films. I just saw this for the first time Silent Night deadly night, and found that actually thoroughly entertaining, I didn't even going to titties. And one of my classic holiday favorites in the last couple years it's Krampus. What's not to like about Concetta Farrell playing a battle ax of an aunt.

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  2. Mistress Maddie,
    Oh, yes, Concetta Farrell, the only one more terrifying than Krampus.
    Are you saying you just saw "Silent Night, Deadly Night," for the first time?
    Didn't you just love the child saying to that nasty Mother Superior, "Naughty?"

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  3. “Tallulah” is gaining popularity as a baby name, if you can believe that!!

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  4. Victoria,
    No, I did not know that. On the other hand, no one
    David and I know are having babies. The ones who did have
    been there, done that. "Tallulah" is such an unusual name.
    Could gay adoptees be naming their daughters that?

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  5. I think so!!!!
    So many vintage names coming back!!
    Charlotte, Maude, Hazel, Mabel, Enid, Esther, Polly, Clara, Jane, Rosemary...

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