Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Girls, I Am Feeling Like Such A Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!

At least the water this morning, darlings, was fresh, as it damn well should be!
But would you believe this? First, I get turned down on Match.com by some academic sort, who says we aren't a good match, and let me tell you, sweethearts, he is NO Titan Media model. THEN the same place emails me this guy, who is 28, much too young for me (although, remember 'Meadowlark", darlings!) and it turns out he is looking for a WOMAN!!!!! Now, all my girls on here know I do NOT have a vagina!!!! The last time I checked--which was this morning in the shower--I certainly did not!

So tonight I am going out on the town--either theater, or a dinner, and if I feel like being a bitch, I will be a bitch!!!! Look out, world! Get off of MY fucking runway!!!! And with 30 year resentments simmering and about to explode like in the great 'Baby Jane' tradition.

And just think, girls, tomorrow we have to talk about a REAL bitch--the Bitch of the Week! At this point, even I have no idea who it is going to be!!!! I guess we will all just have to wait and see! Plenty of cadidates, though, darlings!!!!!!!

Just make sure you are not one of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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