Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Darlings, I Am Getting Frantic About Frantiuqe!!!!!!!!!!!!



Girls, can you believe it is already mid-week, we are one day away from announcing another Bitch Of The Week, and still the rumor persists that last Sunday eve I was seen in that questionable establishment......horrors!!!!........the Olive Garden!!!!!!! What is more, I was said to be seen with a cute blond guy. Now, aside from Monsieur Davide, I do not hang out with any cute blond guys. You saw the pic I posted of Margaret and Jack, when they still looked good, but that had to be a good twenty or more years ago, and I never hung out with Jack Wrangler!!!!!!! Though he WAS well hung!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have finally figured out who is behind these rumors, and it bears telling on here. There is some horrible creature out in cyberspace, calling themselves "Frantique Fromage," that poses as some doyenne on the Jennifer Jones and "Song of Bernadette" message boards, on IMDB, desecrating she and everything about this masterpiece of a film!!!!!!!!! The things this creature has said to me!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, let me point out said creature is not even female!!!!!!!! If she were, she might look like Kirstie Alley back in her "Fat Actress" days!!!!! What she really is is an over aged queen, resembling Philip Seymour Hoffman at his grungiest, who sits around his trash residence--look at this, girls!!!!!!!--in his stained T-shirts and underwear, eating Cheez Doodles, drinking beer, and belching loudly!!!!!! Honey, he is not even ready for the Olive Garden; to a person like this, Olive Garden would be Le Ciruqe!!!!!! And the notion that I would frequent such a low class establishment is enough to make me rip each individual hair from his hairy armpits!!!!!!!!!! Get with the program, Frantique, I am wise to you, and you will not bring me down, else you will be dragged down dead, like the skunk you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Though with all due respect to cartoon skunk Pepe Le Pew, whom I do not wish to insult!!!!!!!!! Get curdled, Fromage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment