Girls, let me ask you, is there an American extant who actually has had a "perfect" adolescence? I was thinking about this as I dressed in my glamour outfit of the day. I do not think adolescence, by its biological or physiological nature, is designed to be perfect. I would venture, thinking back to mine (and to OURS, for all my girls!!!!) that, looking back on the ones admired, envied; who, in our eyes, "had it all,' so to speak, if pressed to tell the truth, even they would admit to some imperfections in theirs'.
What prompted this, while I dressed, was staring at my old high school picture.
"Why couldn't I have been happier, then?" I mused, bemoaning my, not so much squandering of my youth, but not enough appreciation for it while I had it. But then, I have to admit, things were pretty difficult back then. Even now, with all I have gone through, darlings--and who knows what to come, what with February 8--the ONE period of my life I know for certain I would NOT want to relive is my adolescence.
But who or what is to blame for this? The answer may surprise you. For years, I demonized everyone connected to this time of life--my parents (or how they behaved) classmates and teachers (ditto), lack of social awareness during changing but in some ways as yet unchanging times, and of course a heavy dose of low self-esteem--not being rich, pretty, or good enough. Or so I thought.
As I dressed this morning, and all this came flooding back, so did something I had not thought about in awhile, and I realized that basically, the blame for my adolescence rests on.......Patty Duke!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, not Miss Duke herself, but, specifically speaking, "The Patty Duke Show!!!!!!!!!!"
Not that I blame Patty herself. After all, she went on to become, and remains a gay icon, even if she didn't want to be, at first, thanks to her "breakthrough" performance as Neely O'Hara (which is MY role, girls!!!!) in "Valley Of The Dolls!!!!!!!" And THIS, after winning an Oscar for "The Miracle Worker", darlings!!!!!!!!!!
Patty's show ran for, I think, for two seasons, when I was in grade school--second and third grades, I recall. It was a time when even then I looked forward to glamorous, teenage fulfillment, via adolescence. This show led me to believe that my adolescence would be an endless procession of friends, social events, plays, parties, homework, and just so ever loving FUN. I had no idea it would take a good twenty plus years when I would get all this, which was not until my thirties. "The Patty Duke Show" created for me a set of false expectations I obviously carried all the way into adolescence, when I was disillusioned by what it turned out not to be!!!!!!! I mean, back then, I was so naive, I thought those puberty things (like hair in places, lambs, where one never had it before!) was something that happened in your sleep, while you were unconscious, like "Invasion Of The Body Snatchers."
You can imagine, girls how surprised I was!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder how many my age back then bought into this myth perpetrated by Patty's show. As well as how many did not; perhaps they were the more well adjusted. Or were they????????? Honey, I was just more impressionable, and, of course, darlings, theatrical, so I attached myself to Patty and the message its creators was sending to me. Which, when Patty was finally able to speak for herself, turned out not to be so fulfilling for her, at all.
So, girls, the lesson here is hang on to that high school portrait, because you never know when it will produce an Epiphany!!!!!!!! And be eternally grateful that those days are behind us. As one of those cheerleaders says of those days, at the end of Jack Heifner's play, "Vanities"--"We don't drink to remember them, we drink to FORGET them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't forget ME, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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