Good Looking Bitch??????? Or Lindsay's Next Roomie?????????

Poor Nicolas Cage! His Coppola connections get him into films, but the guy just can't seem to maintain a career. Personally, I never understoood the appeal, except when he played Ronny in "Moonstruck." That hangdog look may have worked when he was young, and especially when supported by a near perfect encsemble cast, in a near perfect film, which he did not have to carry. The point being, this was the ONLY film I could stand Nicolas Cage.

Then there was "Leaving Las Vegas." I could not wait to leave the theater after viewing that one. Poor Elisabeth Shue, who was on a career high then, but who I last saw playing the quasi butch sherrif in the hilarious "Piranha 3-D!" So sophisticated, darlings! In 'Las Vegas" both Cage and Shue decide to drink themselves to death. Fine. But why do we have to watch this? No supspense; we know the outcome. And how this film became so highly acclaimed at the time is one of those pull-the-wool-over feats, like the Emperor's New Clothes.

But this is nothing compared to what Nicolas Cage faces now. For starters, he has been named this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week! The reason for this honor is more than a shoddy career.

Mr. Cage faces not only domestic violence charges against his wife, but also child abuse charges, against his five year old son, Kal-El. It seems there was some kind of fall or push involving the youngster that resulted in a leg abrasion, and Child Services are taking this seriously.

But let me say something first, outright. What kind of parent names their boy child, Kal-El??? For those who don't know, and MY girls certainly do, that was the name of the child who grew up to be Superman. Born on Krypton, he was the child of Jor-El and his wife, Lara (no, darlings, not Julie Chrisite; THAT Lara is in "Doctor Zhivago"!!!!), who was sent to Earth when the planet exploded. But to give this name to a child??????? This is like back when I was young, innocent, and inexpereinced, where I claimed I was going to have eight children, and, with my love of Dickens, would name them things like Steerforth and Traddles. Thank God that did not turn out; those kids would have killed me!!!!!!!! Young Kal-El might do the same to Daddy, if Daddy doesn't self destruct first.

Child abuse is no laughting matter, and if Mr. Cage thinks being Bitch Of The Week is hilarious, he will not think such if he goes to prison, where inmates tend to look down their noses at pedophiles or child abusers. He may just go from Bitch Of The Week to Someone's Bitch in the hoosegow!!!!!!!!!

And with his substance and financial problems, he looks good for a stint in rehab, with the Rehab Princess, Miss Lindsay Lohan!!!!! Nevertheless, Mr. Cage is our Bitch Of The Week! I can only hope this child abuses him back, by biting him on his finger!!!!!!!!!

How do you like that, Ncki????????????????????????????????