Girls, I am tellng you, this week's winner is bound to be hated by many, for how he flaunts his cause in our faces, while those of us out there, like moi, are struggling. But let me explain.
The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is Don Gorske of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin.
Well, la de dah, as Annie Hall might say.
Mr. Gorske, on May 17th, set some kind of record by consuming his 25,000th Big Mac. There are so many things wrong with this, but let's start with, why keep a record of this? Is this anything to be proud of? Since 1972, when he celebrated purchasing his first car by indulging in twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepickelsonionsonasesameseedbun, he just could not get enough. So he began buying 6 on Monday, and 8 on Thursday of every week. That is 14 of these things, which he consumes a week in 16 bites. I mean, he has this down to a science. He even got a featured spot in Morgan Spurlocks's documentary film, "Super Size Me," because of this distinction.
He is a retired prison guard, which says he was no Ivy Leaguer. Not even the U of Wisocnsin in Madison, which used to have some of the best departments out there.
He has a wife, but let me tell you, she is no Blythe Danner. Hell, she doesn't even have to cook, unless she does so for herself. But to live with such idiocy and codone it????? Where is sanity here??????????
Obviously, it has gone out the window!!!! Adeed to which--and this is the hateful part, Mr. Gorske, unlike Morgan Spurlock, has not faced weight gain or any kind of chemical imbalances in his body. He maintains a trim six foot frame, is in good health with a cholesterol level of 156 (you have GOT to be kidding), and feels no compunction to stop gorging on these things.
Either he has the world's greatest metabolism, or he is a liar.
Who would want to eat so many Big Macs??? I could not tell you the last time I had one, and eating that today would certainly do me in. And let me tell you---that bullshit about "McDonald's Special Sauce." From my first Big Mac, I knew right away it was.....Russian Dressing!!!!!!!!!! Why don't they just do vanilla cream, like Hostess Snow Balls. Hell, the nutritional value is blown out of proportion anyway, what difference would it have made? And for some of us it would taste better.
So we salute Don Gorske as this week's Bitch. That he can get away with such gastrointestinal idiocy cannot help but earn him this distinction. Not that I would want to, mind you. The only comfort I take is that at some point, things are going to have to catch up with Mr. Gorske, who is 57 now. Let's visit him in ten years, or if he reaches 70, and see how he is faring. That should be quite interesting.
After this disgusting diatribe, it is strictly carrots and hummus for me tonight. And salad and yougurt for all my girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Low cholesterol, indeed!!!!!!!!!! Up yours, bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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