Hey!!!!!!!!!! What Happened To The Rapture????????

Darlings, amidst all the running around I was doing on Saturday, the world was supposed to come to a screeching halt!!!!!! Well, as you can read, thank God (literally!) we are all still here. And the zealot dirt bag who created this little dose of mass hysteria--which no one took seriously for a second, anyway--is probably now holed up in the same lair Bin Laden was before he was killed!!!!!!!!!!

I think we would have sensed something if the Rapture were going to happen. Ever since the Y2K debacle, I have been suspicious. And it is not going to be like the Christian Evangelical scene pictured here.

When the Rapture comes, the Spirit of Meryl Streep will appear on earth, to shepherd everyone together, and woe to those with poor acting technique. From the sky above, Judy Garland, in her hat, suit jacket and black leotards and taps from "Summer Stock" will appear to All and sing--what else???--"Get Happy!"

Only then will we know that the Rapture will be upon us, as it will be...rapturous!!!!! So breathe easy, dears! I have to see "The Shaggs" Saturday night, so nothing simply can happen before then!!!!!!!!

Or even before July 2, when I come back from my New Orleans trip!!!!!!!!!!

Trust in your Icons, girls!!!!!! Let Meryl and Judy lead the way!!!!!!!!!!!