Girls, let me tell you, someone becoming a legend can happen in two ways. It can happen by what the actual person does to make them that way. Or it can be how another person views them and turns them into a legend. The person in question here, loves, constitutes both.
You are about to get the scoop on the aforementioned, always mysterious and increasingly enigmatic Roberta. And try not to be overwhelmed by the stunning radiance of the picture!!!!!!!!!
Roberta??????? Yes, loves, THAT Roberta. I promise not to be too bitchy!!!!!!!!!!
I really can't, because Roberta did not stand out for bitchiness. That might have been easier, because at least it would have been some kind of acknowledgement. Roberta chose not to give me the time of day. And there were reasons.
Roberta became a legend during that Battleground of Hell known as Junior High and High School. She moved through the halls, stunning as always--clothes and hair perfect--as though walking above everyone on a gossamer cloud. She had it all--beauty, brains, and popularity. Now, I always knew, girls, that I had the first two, but I covetously wanted the third, but with Roberta around, I stood no chance of being noticed for what I did possess. And the funny thing is, I loved Highland Park, growing up, then, as much as anyone else. But because of social parameters that I had no control over, people such as Roberta were unwilling to give me a chance!!! She made it to National Honor Society. I had the grades, activities, etc, but I did not. And this is still a sore point. Because there is still that part of me deep down that resents this, and feels that if I had, I might have accomplished more than I have. Not that what I have accomplished is unimportant because it is NOT. Honey, all my girls who read this know that!!!!!!!
The problem was I always wanted Roberta to know. I always wanted the teachers to know that, damn it, I was as good as she!!!!!!!! But, as I said, there were reasons. Let me explain why.
The first reason was the community we were raised in--Highland Park, New Jersey, a very insular environment, and, it cannot be ignored, a predominantly Jewish one. And this was important--if one grew up in this town Jewish, it gave you an in non-Jews did not have. And for those of us attending public school in HP, by the time we all came together in Junior High (around seventh grade in my class), this was made abundantly clear. Added to which teachers blatantly favored Roberta and others, not only because of their spiritual denomination, but especially if they lived on what we all knew in town as the President streets. And Roberta was clearly the Princess Of Lincoln Avenue!!!!!!!!!!
Well, honey, I was a Princess, too, and I damn well knew it!!!!!!! Except, I did not live on Lincoln Avenue, though on the North Side, where all the RIGHT people lived. I knew I belonged in Honor Society and all that. Only the teachers in charge then, to keep their jobs, had to cater to the right set of children from the right families, and ignore the rest!!!!!! And I was ignored!!!!!!!!!!!
Do I still have resentment???? You better believe it!!!!!!! So, when I saw the LinkedIn site for Roberta, which I happened upon while looking for someone else, a Pandora's box was unleashed. Miss Ivy League, U of Penn. Temple Business School Swim Team Camp Over Achiever!!!!!!! Hah!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I am still just as good as you, Roberta; in fact, better, and I can prove it. Though, in one instance at least, I have you to thank!!!!!!!!!! Miss Chemical Analysis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This story is SO typical, darlings. Back in eighth grade, one day during Mrs. Clifford's (exactly the kind of teacher described above, and me being one of the prize English students, yet!!!!!) we were having a discussion of books turned into films. Roberta, seated near me, offered up as an example, "Exodus," and how Eva Mare Saint as Kitty Fremont did not match the way one pictured her from reading the book. Having read the book also, and agreeing with Roberta, I hastened to tell her this. But her response was to look at me disdainfully, as if to say "What are you doing, reading a book like that?"
What people like Roberta could not understand then, and most likely cannot now, is that there are some people who have multifaceted interests beyond what they were raised in. Having grown up around Jewish people, I was interested in their culture and their faith--so much so that, when, that same year I first read "The Chosen" by Chaim Potok (which I have reread many times, as well as Potok's other works), I was ready to switch to a Yeshiva!!!!! Imagine my parents' shock, when I hit them with this!!!! It was not enough my wanting to be Barbra!!!!!!! But THIS!!!!!!!
Then, in junior year, I hit them with wanting to go to Brandeis University to study Herbert Marcuse's theory of change for change's sake, like Angela Davis!!!!! Quite precocious I was at that age!!!!!!! It left my parents fearful for my future!!!!!!!!!
Then came the time, again in eighth grade, and again, when I was seated near her, where, right before Mrs. Dubin's French class, she was regaling all with her exploits that weekend, which included going to see the Broadway show, "Promises, Promises." I mean, the original Michael Bennett production with--oh,my God--Donna McKechnie, Baayork Lee, Margo Sappington, Kelly Bishop, and others!!!!!!!!! When I heard this, I was furious, and I resolved, then and there, that, before I was done, I was going to go to the Broadway theater whenever I wanted, and see more shows than Roberta!!!!!!!!!
I have to thank Roberta for fueling that competitive edge in me. But the edge was there from the get go. She just triggered it. Back when I was a small child, there was an interactive show called "Learn To Draw," hosted by a guy named John Nagy. He would instruct how to draw, shade and make things three dimensional, and I did my best to follow along. I did not come up to scratch half the time, but I was fueled. So much so that, back then, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say, "I want to be an artist." At the time, I thought that meant a painting artist, but as the years went on and I saw my talents rested with performance and writing, this was the artistry I knew I wanted to be. And so I strove for it, with no regrets.
Which is another reason Roberta and I did not connect; we were simply on different paths. We were high achievers, but in opposite directions--Roberta towards the sciences, and I the arts. But I knew, from my perspective, that I was every bit as good as she. What bothered me, then, was that neither she nor the teachers seemed willing to acknowledge this.
Monsieur thinks Roberta represents all that I thought I wanted when young, and to an extent he is right. I did, indeed, want all the attention at school Roberta received, and which I, as egocentric as Scarlett O'Hara, felt I was entitled to. And if some glaring anger comes through in this post, it is due to the past, and not the present, since Roberta has not had a chance to speak for herself here. Though I am more than willing to give it to her. Darlings, my blog, girls, theatrical excursions, evenings out dining and socializing, are more important to me than being on a treadmill at 7:30 each morning or selling skin products. Though I have to say I give Roberta credit (which I wish she would give me) and, dolls, if you see her products, buy some, and tell her I sent you!!!!!!!!!!!
What is done cannot be undone. The past cannot be corrected or rewritten. But it can be revised. On 'SVU', Elliot Stabler, when chastised, always asks, "How can I make this right?" How can what has gone before be made right, as far as I am concerned???? The unrealistic, impossible answer, would be to receive, from HPHS, a belated induction into the National Honor Society. Fat chance of that, especially as no one who was there on faculty in my day, is present there anymore. The second answer, is for me to get decked out, in my best ensemble, as all you girls know I can (I know I would just HAVE to wear pink!!!! And get my hair done!!!) and for Roberta (whom I sure would be decked out, too!) to meet me in the city, for tea, at---where else, darlings????--the St. Regis!!!!! Now, that would be something to blog about, and I know all my faithful readers are just dying to see how THAT might turn out!!!!!!!!
So, I throw out the invite!!!!!!!! Hey, Roberta, are you up to it????
I am. I can do it, if you can. And I will bring Monsieur, whom no doubt would love the tea and such there, but would provide you a novelty of being among two gay men, bring closure to this aspect of my past, and who knows what we might both learn!!!!!!!!!
And hey, Roberta, he is Jewish!!!!!!! That is right!!!!!!! I snared a Nice Jewish Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Consider yourself asked, Roberta!!!!!! As for the rest, I am sure this will be one of the most controversial posts ever, so if anyone out there wishes to comment in any way they think fit, bring it on!!!!! But keep in mind, I might just fire back!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kiss kiss, darlings!!!!!!!! And a bientot, Roberta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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