Honestly, girls, there is nothing like being made to feel old!!!!! Yesterday, I was mentioning Janis Ian and her classic song "At Seventeen" to a colleague in their early 40s...and they had never heard of either one. Excuse me???????? Not only is it Janis's signature tune, but it has become the anthem for adolescent angst--and those who endured it--everywhere!
And this started me thinking. Some years back, I read an article, (whose topic and author I cannot recall) which had a passage comparing those who had it all, at seventeen, with those who grow up to write songs like "At Seventeen." The message being that having is at seventeen is fleeting, and that those who did not can go on and make vastly more substantial contributions in life, as Janis and others have done. (And that includes the Raving Queen, darlings!!!!!)
So, naturally I had to listen to the song, which I could not tell when the last time I did that was. After giving it a listen I said, "Honey, I lived it." Then I looked at the lyrics, and got a vastly different take. For I discovered that while I related to it, and have enormous compassion for those who literally did live it, I did not, really.
"I learned the truth at seventeen,
That love was meant for beauty queens,
And high school girls, with clear skinned smiles,
Who married young, and then retire."
Let's start with this. In order to learn the truth, you have to "accept it." Well, darlings, I may have known "the truth,' but I did not accept it at all, no siree, and still don't. That's why I threw myself into everything, forcing everyone to notice me, goddammit!!!! Even if I did not get the popularity of Diane or Roberta (the "high school girls with clear skinned smiles" are clearly the Dykemans!!!!!), I shoved myself in everyone's face to let it be known I was here, queer, so they better damn well get used to it. And for those who never did, I say stick it!!!!!!!!
"And those of us with ravaged faces,
Lacking in the social graces,
Desperately remained at home, inventing lovers on the phone,
Who called to say come dance with me,
And murmur vague obscenities,
It isn't all at seems,
At seventeen."
I remember the first time I heard this lyric, I asked, "Why are the obscenities only vague?" Honey, I was not about to waste my time on THAT; I wanted some real obscenities!!!!!! What good is vague anything?????????
"The brown-eyed girls in hand-me-downs,
Whose name I never could pronounce,
Said 'Pity,please, the ones who serve,
They only get what they deserve.'
The rich relationed home town queen,
Marries into what she needs,
With a guarantee of company,
And haven for the elderly."
"Pity please the ones who serve?" This is a reference to the acolytes for the more popular, who do the latter's bidding as a way to hang out with them, even if they really aren't. Like that "Single White Female" type, Debbie Germann, who so WANTED to be Debbie Dykeman, she did everything she (Dykeman) did, right down to cheerleading and duplicating hair color!!!!! Well, she was never more than an acolyte at best; she probably fetched Debbie Dykeman's towels, gym bag, whatever, thinking she was "in", only she really wasn't!!!!!!
Do you think I was going to be satisfied being an acolyte????? Screw that!!! If I did not get adoration, then I told--and still tell--these people to shove it, because I knew I was beyond all of them from kindergarten on up!!!! Oh, and just so you don't think I am only dissing the girls, there were some male counterparts. Like Mark Rosenberg (whose nickname, interestingly enough, was "Blob") an oversized sort who played football AND did Drama, only to end up in White Horse, New Jersey (what a godforsaken place!!!!) looking every bit his age (as attested by the 30 year reunion), and who is married to a blowzy looking thing he must have banged on his way up to becoming an attorney!!!! And like Diane, Mark seemed insecure at the reunion, choosing only to cling to those who knew him back in the day. I used to resent Mark back then. Now, like with Diane, I found out there was nothing left to resent!!!!!! This New York Princess is too good for them both, and if they think they are going to gain an audience with ME, let me say I will give them as much attention to them now, as they gave me then!!!!!!!! So there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, that part about "the rich relationed home town queen...." that is unmistakably Roberta!!!!!!!!!! While researching the song, I read an online comment from someone who said their sister was one of the types who married into what she needs, and it turned out to be a nightmare...both for her, AND the husband!!!!!!!! And what with her little run-in with Mr.Medoff, maybe if Roberta had paid more attention to Erich Von Stroheim's "Greed" than that she was raised on, she might be singing a happier tune today!!!!!!!!!! You thought you would have it forever, didn't you, Roberta?????? Well, guess what??????????? You were wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Remember those who win the game
And lose the love they sought to gain,
In debitures of quality, and dubious integrity,
The small town eyes will gape at you,
In dull surprise when payments due
Exceed accounts received at seventeen."
Darlings, if this is not the most confounding lyric!!!!!!!!! OK, I get that, as I have stated, those who initially were popular/successful/whatever at this stage lose ground when they get older, failing either to maintain it, or to fulfill the early promise so readily displayed. But what the hell are "debitures of quality?"
As for those small town eyes, well, that is why many of us leave such places; they never stop gaping at you in order to assure and assert their fitness for the community by declaring you unfit, when you are, not because you are inferior, but because you are NOT!!!!!!!!!! But, again, what the hell are "debitures of quality?"
Can any of my girls tell me, PLEASE????????????????????????????
The rest of the song is pretty straightforward, although why would one, to paraphrase Janis, "repent for lives unknown?" Do you think I repent for any of those I have just mentioned???? Not a chance!!!!!!! Do you think any of them repent for others, let alone themselves????? No way, Jose!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, yes, that article's author was right. It is much better to be an artist later, and accomplish something substantial, than to have had it all in youth, only to have those memories permanently discarded in an attic, like one of Miss Havisham's wedding gowns!!!!!!!!!!!
But generations owe Janis a debt of gratitude for defining what for many is a difficult part of life. And in this era with more of a focus on bullying, the song might also serve as a battle cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Right On, Janis!!!!!!!! While you did not teach me "the truth" (I found out that on my own!!!!!!!) you taught me to "Screw it!"
See you at the next candlelight vigil, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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