Just Wait Till You Haear THIS, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As any respectable Theater Queen in Manhattan knows by now, the most anticipated upcoming theatrical event is the Summer outdoor revival, at the famed Delacorte Theatre, of the Stephen Sondheim-James Lapine musical, "Into The Woods." Well, I just recently found out that one of its key roles--the Baker's Wife--has already been cast, and wait till you hear this!!!!!

It says something about tradition and continuity with this production, because the current Baker's Wife originated another role in the original production. I am talking about Danielle Ferland, who played Little Red Riding Hood in the Original (which you know I saw, girls!!!!), and coined the phrase "Isn't it nice to know a lot? And a little bit not." Well, Danielle is stepping into the role immortalized by the great Joanna Gleason, who won a TONY Award for her efforts. This would not be a problem, my pets, but have you seen Danielle lately?????

Do you know it has been 25 years--a quarter century, loves!!!!--since this show first opened on Broadway???? And in that time, Danielle has grown up, married, and given birth to some children!!!! Nothing wrong, there, either, but....let's face it, Danielle has not exactly blossomed into Blythe Danner, nor, with her cute, spunky young looks, did I ever expect she would!!!

But the cuteness and spunkiness are gone. Instead, Danielle now looks like a pug nosed Roseann Barr, (with the girth to prove it!!!) and this is how they pay tribute to the great Joanna Gleason??????

There are plenty of good Baker's Wives out there!!!!! How about Ann Morrison, back in town, fresh from celebrating the ENCORES 'Merrily'? Or Martha Plimpton??? She could do the role justice!!!!!! While it might be fine honoring the Original by having a performer of it, like Danielle, in it, (she would now be great in the Barbara Bryne role of Jack's Mother) if this is how the casting is going, I hate to think what we will end up with. So, I am going to offer some suggestions, if I may.

Marc Kurdish should be in here somewhere!

I think Joanna Merlin would be FABULOUS as the Older Witch!!!! But who could she morph into???? How about Blythe Danner, darlings??????

He's little, he's cute (especially as Roger Kressler on 'SVU') but can Ned Eisenbeerg sing??? If he can, he would make a marvelous Baker!!!!!!!!!!!

I still think Cinderella's Stepmother and Stepsisters should be played by New York's leading Drag queens--Charles Busch, Hedda Lettuce, Brini Maxwell, and maybe Varla Jean Merman!!!!!

The Princes need to be hot and vocal!!!!! How about Colin Donnell, late of ENCORES "Merily', as one of them??????

Who will play the coveted role of Milky White??? Will they do the old actors-in-a-cow routine, like Caroline in "Gypsy"???? I hope not, because Milky White deserves better representation!!!!!!!

I am still hoping for Sutton Foster as Cinderella!!!! She could do an enchanting "On The Steps Of The Palace"!!!!!!!!

Are there any good Rapunzels out there??????

And what about the Narrator???? How about Jerry Stiller???? Or Jerry Seinfeld????? Or even Jason Alexander???????

But, I am sorry, girls, Danielle as the Baker's Wife just does not cut it!!! Let us hope good casting intervenes in this very anticipated upcoming show!!!!!!

Or else, this show, darlings, will be LEFT in the dark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!