The image above, girls, needs no introduction. When it comes to misplaced anger, "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?" is a story that takes it to the extreme. All of us, especially those in family units, have experienced it at one time or another. But, as Monsieur pointed out to me, in a recent discussion, it is how you handle it, and proper placement thereof, that counts.
For example, with April on the horizon, and my father's birthday coming up, it is time to think about a celebration. Especially since, this year, he will be 97!!!!!!!!!!!
Which means we have to invite Cousin Judy, and her ilk. Actually, it isn't the ilk that is the problem; none of the five other siblings seem to have the issues, or carry the war between my family and hers that began with her no good father, like Judy. Although Billy and Peggy's son, Billy DID throw the hubcap off a lawnmower in my eye, back on Memorial Day, 1967, which I do not forget, but have really never held against Billy or Peggy. Unlike Judy, the rest of this group are not prone to interfere. Judy is.
The best example was two years ago, when we were planning to have the birthday celebration, near my sister's, at Chadwick's. Which we did not, as my father became overwhelmed by illness. And made a quick recovery from. It was like that scene in "Annie Hall," where the ailing Alvy Singer, once released from the burden of delivering a speech in L.A., began to chow down on a platter full of chicken!!!!!!
Anyway, the celebration had been planned, the table arranged, and Billy and Peggy, who have to travel a great distance, from New Jersey, were on their way!!!!
My father was beginning to manifest signs of illness, my sister and I knew what lie ahead, when the phone rang. It was Judy, asking--at the last minute, darlings!!! how CRASS!!!!!--if her son Christopher, and his wife, Dawn, could be included, as they wanted to come.
Aside from this being in poor taste, which, being Judy, would not bother her, as she has no class, since she is the child most like her rotten father, I am not so sure how much truth there was to her request.
Several years before, when my father reached 93, Judy had the celebration at her town's (Doylestown, PA) country club!!!!! Christopher, Dawn, and their two boys, rushed in at the last minute, and I got the impression Christopher (whom I have no issues with, though, if push came to shove, I am sure is a big old homophobe!!!!) did not want to be there. He and his mother were giving each other looks that could kill. My conclusion was they had been summoned to this at the last minute, by Judy, as a Command Performance. Which they really did not have to attend. They are a young married couple, fortyish or so, with two growing boys, and, guess what Judy????
They have LIVES OF THEIR OWN!!!! Which does not mean a thing to Judy, because it is all about her!!!!! Of course, what Judy has NEVER been able to understand, but, believe me, honey, sometime she WILL, is that it is all about ME!!!!!!!! If I had been Christopher, I would have told her off over the phone, and then gone on to live MY life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes, I lump Judy's behavior, and her siblings, together, which is where the misplaced anger comes. I am not angry with them. I am angry at Judy's father, who I cannot do anything about, as he is now sludge at the ocean's bottom, and I am angry at Judy, for attitudes going back to 1978, and which I am sure she harbored before. What she has absolutely NO idea--because she is so stupid and obtuse--is that I harbor this anger towards her, I know what her father did to ME, and to my family, and SOMEDAY, honey, just like Baby Jane gave it to Blanche, I am going to give it to HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monsieur is right; misplaced anger is wrong, as the issue is not with the siblings, but with Judy!!!! (And, of course, as long as my father seems to enjoy this company, it shall beheld in check, because I would do nothing to upset him!!!!) Who will find out, soon enough!!!!!!
And why is that? Repeat after me, girls!!! One-Two-Three!!!!!!!!!
"I won't forget. You BET I won't forget!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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