Girls, As Long As We Don't Have To Deal With Them Personally, We Can Just LOVE These Teen-Age Bitches!!!!!!!!!!!

                      Oh, my God, darlings, if you thought the program "Deadly Women" was a weekly bitch fest in and of itself, you should have seen it the other night, when they upped the ante to "Deadly Delinquents."  It was a hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      The least interesting of the three stories concerned Kelly Fuller, an 18-year-old
girl from Perth, Australia, who, back in 1998, murdered her romantic rival, 15-year-old Jessica Lang. (No connection to the actress, loves, whose name ends in "e.")  It seems Kelly had been going with this guy, Mike, who was a DJ (like I am SO impressed, girls???? Gag me with a spoon!!!!!), but Kelly was just too clingy, needy possessive--you know, the usual--and before you could say "Fatal Attraction," she would not move on, stalking Mike and Jessica every chance she got, culminating in a showdown at Jessica's home, where, on pretext of making amends, she shows up, gloves on hands (which should have been a warning; who wears white gloves to visit these days, and this was NO Miss Porter's grad, honey!!!!!!), concealing a knife, which she proceeds to take out and stab Jessica to death umpteen times with.  Leaving her now traumatized father to find the body,  and clean up the mess!!!!!!!!!!!!

                      But Kelly was caught, have no fear, and is in prison for good!!!!!!!!!  She got what she deserved!  This was just your garden variety teen-age "Fatal Attraction."

                       Now, remember my favorite 'SVU' episode, "Mean?"  That case was reputedly based on the Shanda Sharer case (which I have written about) and on what was described as "a similar case in California."  I think this is the one.  Three girls--Karen Severenson, Laura Doyle, and Michele "Missy" Avila--have been inseparable since childhood.  But when puberty and hormones favor Missy in looks and popularity, Laura and Karen could not stand it.  So, in 1985, they lured Missy to a park near their hometown in Arleta, California, where they beat her, knocked her down, bloodied her face with their fists and a knife, cut off her hair, then dragged her to the shallow part of a lake where they held her over, till she was almost drowned. Then they tossed a nearly 100 pound branch on her to finish the job. Nice, huh????????

                        Compare this to "Mean," which was almost the same thing. A group of girls--Brittany O'Malley, Emily Sullivan, Paige Summerbee, Andrea Kent, and Agnes Linsky--have all been friends since childhood.  Puberty is not kind to Agnes, who is horribly obese, and she becomes the target of the other three's bullying. Then, Emily turns up murdered, and at once everyone suspects Agnes.  Except it was Emily's own friends, urged on by Brittany, who was jealous over Emily going out with her boyfriend, Lucas, and, like Missy, Emily was a match for Brittany in the popularity and looks department, and, also fearing loss of control, she decides to murder Emily!!!!!!!!!!!

                          But I am saving the best for last.  This was the rivalry between Kirsten Costas, and Bernadette Protti, which culminated in murder. It seemed Bernadette, who was no slouch, wanted to be everything Kirsten was. She tried for every activity--cherrleader, girls club (the Larks) and yearbook editor, but she just did not cut it. So she decided to do some cutting herself, by getting rid of the competition. She lures Kirsten out in her car on a social pretext, then confronts her.  The distraught Queen Bee flees from the unstable Wannabe, is driven home by a neighbor, only to have Bernadette waiting in ambush for her, where she stabs her multiple times, just in fornt of Kirsten's door, back in 1984!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Can you believe this, darlings????????? Not even I, who was stung by high school rejection, killed anyone, though I did try and confront that bitch, Mrs. Santamarina, about my not  being in the National Honor Society!!!!!  I wanted to belt her, but I didn't. 

                              Even more unbelievable, Bernadette keeps this secret for six months, going about her life, even being a Candy Striper!!!!!!!!!!! How can she live with this??????? Does Kirsten's death bring her popularity and happiness?????????? No!!!!!!!!!  She might have been better destroying her prom, like Carrie White!!!!!!!!!  That, to me, seems more satisfying!!!!!!!!!

                                Eventually, Bernadette confesses, is caught, and sentenced to an undiscolsed youth facility (she was only 16, when prosecuted), but released  eight years later for good behavior (she had been sentenced to 9 years!!!!!!) , when she was issued a new identity, which is unknown, but would you believe, from what I have culled, she went on to get a Science Degree, marry a Professor, have two children, and writes for scientific publications???????
How does she live with herself?????????????

                                 If that sounds vaugely familiar, it should!!!!!  Writer Randall Sullivan took this story and turned it into his famous Rolling Stone Magazine article, "Death Of A Cheerleader," which became the highest rated Made For TV movie of 1994. And what a cast!!!!!!  Kelli Martin as the Bernadette figure (she is called Angela Delvecchio), Valerie Harper as her mother, Tori Spelling as the Kirsten figure (here called Stacy Lockwood--shades of Diane Dykeman!!!!--and doesn't Tori play the bitch to the hilt???????? She should, darlings; she has been doing it all her life.)  Not to mention a pre-"Cold Case" Kathryn Norris, as the Goth outsider, Monica Whitley). Now, I have not seen all of this yet, girls, but I promise, as soon as I do, I will report back!!!!!!!!!! It should be a hoot, and sounds like perfect material for a Broadway musical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But what a Bitchfest these gals give!!!!!!!! If they ever repeat this one again, darlings, be sure not to miss it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Who needs "Heathers," darlings?????????????????????