Girls, How Long Must This Gal Wait For A Hair Appointment?????????

                                            In case you are wondering who this is, while the face may be somewhat familiar, this is Candice DeLong, who turns up as a narrator/explainer on a lot of Investigation Discovery programs, most notably, of course, "Deadly Women!"  She is also a former FBI profiler, who has written a book about her experiences, entitled "Special Agent: My Life On The Front Lines As A Woman In The FBI!!!!!!"  Think of her as kind of a real life Clarice Starling!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Though, honey, let's face it, she hasn't the style of Jodie Foster!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Before we go any further, get a look at those eyes!!!!!!  With proper grooming--which she desperately needs--she could easily channel Barbara Steele!!!!!!!   But, Candice, why do you make such bad hair choices??????  I mean, this is the best pic I could find, but you should see how the styles have morphed over time; not one is flattering.  Look how this one comes to a point in the center!!!!!!!!   She certainly did not get this from Ariette at Bergdorf's!!!!!!!!!  Hell, Jan Miner, in her Madge days, could have found her a better stylist!!!!!!!!!!  Or done the job herself!!!!!!!!!!  Compare Candice to that other profiler we just LOVE, Mark Safrik!!!!!!!  Oh, Maaaaaaaaaark!  He certainly knows how to style, darlings, and I know some of my girls out there would just LOVE to style him!!!!!!!!!!  And I don't blame you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Candice is a different story, loves!!!!!!!!!! She can talk crimes and killers with the best of them, but this Beauty School Dropout (just like the song in "Grease!", girls!!!!) certainly missed her mid-terms, or flunked shampoo somewhere along the way!  With that skin, and those eyes, Candice, you could do something!!!!  But what's atop your head kills it!

                                             I think it is time for her to re-evolve!  How about we start Candice off, hairless; you know, that early Sinead O'Connor look????  Then apply a series of wigs and falls, adjust till something tolerable is achieved, and give her a model to grow out and style from!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             With effort, she could, in time, become what she ought--the Audrey Hepburn of FBI profilers!!!!!  Hope is not lost yet, Candice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                I know MY girls would never make the hair mistakes Candice does!!!!!!!!!!!
Whether you are catching killers, or bargain shopping at MACY'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 Candice , honey, take some cues from your similarly named contemporaries--Bergen and Bushenell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                   And think what ANNA would say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!