Monday, December 10, 2012

Is This Diner Masquerading As A Clip Joint, Darlings??????? Or Vice Versa????????


                                Honestly, girls, yesterday I could not tell, so your guess is as good as mine!
                           
                                But, first, some history is absolutely necessary.

                                The Bridgeview has had quite a history.  When I first saw the light of Bay Ridge, sometime in the year 1982 (my God, that is now 30 years!!!), before ever realizing I would be living here for a first, let alone second, time,  it was the most fascinating of places--a diner's diner, looking so ornate, grandiose and stuffed with food it could serve as a movie set.  Think 'Sopranos,' Scorsese, DePalma, or Coppola, and you will get what I mean.

                               The first time I went there, shortly after my friend, Doug, had moved out there, and I went to visit, I was pretty impressed. Having grown up in Jersey, I knew a bit about diners, myself.   The food was fresh, plentiful, and good.  And don't forget, I was 30 years younger.

                                Over the years, things happened with this place.  One time I ate breakfast there (shortly after having my taxes done, so this was post 1990) and got sick.   Another time I had the pastisssio and found, in my entree, a rubber band!  Ewwwwwwwwww!   And I was not the only one with this experience, according to my friend, Doug.

                                 This had to have been a good twenty or more years ago.  The Bridgeveiw remained, but it became a memory. Its visuals were spectacular, but the cuisine too risky. And as stomachs have gotten older and more delicate, this is even more a matter of concern.

                                   Having moved back to the Ridge, recently, I wondered about The Bridgeview.  It has, so I am told, stepped up in quality. Monsieur has been after me for a visit, so, yesterday, both of us suffering a bit of cabin fever, we went back.  All I can say is "Tres interasante, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                      The tacky, movie set decor was still unmatched.  The staff were polite and friendly, already a step up from what happened recently at Demarchelier!!!!!!!!!!!  The food was tasty, but way too much for how I eat now.  Truckers and bulldykes would have a field day!!!!!!!!!!  Especially bulldyke truckers!!!!!!!!  Of which there are plenty!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        What brought the experience down was the clientele.  Save for us, who were just SO sophisticated, darlings, everyone looked like a gangsta' or a ho'!!!!!!!!!!  This one guy came in, sat at the booth across from us, with these two nubile young girls. He had a cross and chain around his neck--an open jacket and black sweater--uhm-hmmmmm!!!!!!!!!--and was speaking to the girls in instructional tones, accompanying finger gestures to match.  They were not studying their catechism, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Several seats behind them, and behind us, piled into this one booth, this allegedly adult chaperone, and a pile of overly gregarious nine-year-old boys, who, I can tell you from their behavior, because it was deplorable, will be gangstas' themselves by puberty, and at least one will have committed his first rape by the time his ejaculate starts flowing from his gonads.  I say, stop things now!!!!!!!!!
It did not help that their monitor was this woman who sounded retarded, and talked as though she were still in high school, when her days for that were more than a quarter century behind!!!!!!!!!!  After the Demarchelier incident, I was determined to keep my mouth shut, but when another patron--a female--wisely approached them about their behavior, only to have the high school adult make excuses for the boys (which bodes well for their criminal Future!!!!!!!), both Monsieur and I joined in, and were accused of forgetting when we were children.  I told her by the time I was their age I was sophisticated enough to be taken to diners, where I wasn't into doing things like football blocks to try and trip waitresses, like these boys were doing!!!!!!!!!!  You know, screw them!!!!!!!!!  Screw that they are boys, and screw testosterone!!!!!!!!  There was no excuse!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                I refrained from some of these latter remarks, but I certainly thought them.  I did get out a couple of words about "trash," which makes me feel bad, because I don't like coming off like a judgemental bitch ALL the time--only in ARTS situations, girls!!!!!!!!!!--and Monsieur, in spite of it all, enjoyed his visit so much, he wants to go back. So I said I would. Such is the power of love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  As if this weren't enough, in behind us came what looked like cast members from "Prizzi's Honor," bringing Grandpa to dinner.  Oh, brother, what characters!!!!!!!!!!   Though not half annoying as Miss High School and her brood!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                    Like I said, girls, your guess is as good as mine, but I will go back!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                     But give me One If By Land....... any day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





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