Remember those carefree days of yore, when we were young, girls--yes, darlings, we really WERE!!!!!!!!--and we longed to be carefree, breezy career gals????? Like Katherine Hepburn in the 1930s, Rosalind Russell in the 1940s, "The Best of Everything" gang in the 1950s, right up to Marlo Thomas as Ann Marie in "That Girl," in the 1960s, and Mary Tyler Moore as Mary Richards, in the 1970s???????
If you are old enough to remember this sequence, gals. those days have come and gone!!!!!!!!! Having fulfilled (or, at least tried to!!!!!!) whatever career fantasies one might have nurtured, it is not unnatural for gay men, just like their straight counterparts, to mull over a career change!!!!!!! And I am not talking about working as a fluffier or camera man on a porn film!!!!!!!!!! Get those thoughts out of your head!!!!!! This, and escort work, still requires a youth that for some of us is increasingly vanishing!!!!!!!
But, fear not, there are opportunities out there, for the enterprising Dizzy Queen!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Party Planner--Honey, who knows more about parties than gay men????????
Having spent the past quarter century or more attending others, or planning
your own, why not start your own organization?????? I know what MINE
would be--Theater Queen Partyers, where the whole event--from set to
costume design, is built around a specific show! Think what I could do
with "FOLLIES!!!!!!!!!!!"
2. Health Care--Ever since seeing Jane Krakowski, as Emma Spevak in the
'SVU' episode "Bound," this choice has been on the rise! Emma may have
been a nurse, first, but I don't get the impression she took Advanced
Placement Biology, so do not be deterred, loves!!!!!!! This career gives
mid-lifers the chance to work out lingering personal issues, just like
Jane! And knowing how to handle a syringe can always come in handy!
3. Personal Assistant--Having spent a good portion of one's life being a
bitch, why not work for one? At least you know what you are dealing
with up front! Plus, it will give YOUR personal assistant a break from
planning YOUR days!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. Disney World Queen--This is fulfilling, but comes with obstacles.
Despite the fact that gays have worked for Disney, since the days of
Tommy Kirk, the organization is still not too keen on those of our
orientation. So, how do you get around this? Pass for straight?
Don't make me laugh! The only way to succeed is by showing
up for the interview in character--and you know we gals favor the
Glamorous Wicked Queen (as opposed to the haggard old crone!)
from "Snow White," and my personal favorite, Maleficent, the Evil
Fairy from "Sleeping Beauty." Most of these careers can be practiced
anywhere, but this one is geographically limited to Anaheim, CA, or
Orlando, FLA!!!!!! No, not Orlando Bloom, though that is not a
bad idea!!!!!!! Unless, you want to branch out, and do this
exclusively at children's parties!
5. Chris Mason--This is for gays who are fed up, and don't want to
work at all! It requires a heaping dose of ego and pretension, which
shouldn't be a problem for gays out there! You also need to have--
inconceivable as it may sound for gays-- execrable taste in fashion;
only the most loud and garish wear will do! You sit in a chair, drink
cheap wine you tell everyone is expensive port, and pontificate about
other people's lives that you aren't living! Sort of the gay version
of Monday Morning Quarterbacking! This should prove to be
the most popular, as you don't have to go anywhere, or do
anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, see darlings?????????? Career prospects aren't too bleak for gay oldsters,
after all!!!!!!! Or you can take that course in semantics, like Tipppi Hedren did at Berkley in
"The Birds!" Or learn how to sing in Pig Latin, like Ginger Rogers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only Multi-Colored Parachutes here, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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