"Do You Know My Name? Uhm............Lindsay Lohan??????????????"

                              Girls, let me tell you, I am sure Miss Lohan must be breathing a sigh of relief  this morning, as someone else besides she is now at the mercy of media scrutiny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                On Atlanta's Peachtree Road--where Aunt Pittypatt once lived!!!!!!--Reese Witherspoon and her husband, Jim Toth, were arrested--he on a DUI, she for insubordination!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 "Do you know my name?  Well, you are about to find out who I am!!!!!!!!," she screamed at the arresting officer, who can only be accused of cultural stupidity!!!!!!!  One thing, for sure--the fact he did not know who she was tells me he was not gay!  A gay police officer (and, yes, there are such things in real life, darlings, not just movie porn fantasies--though I don't know how many in Atlanta, GA!!!!!!)  would have damned well known who she was!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Maybe if she still sported the blonde mane she was always famous for, that officer might have realized her identity, not to mention she would have looked at least several years younger.  But with that obviously dyed dark hair, Reese is looking for all the world like a harried housewife!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Which she is probably being dragged down to!  Have you seen that thing she calls her husband, Jim Toth????????  Kind of pudgy, huh, dolls??????  Calls himself a Hollywood agent--wink! wink!--but is really masquerading as a stud server for Reese, while he lives off her, as a meal ticket!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Nothing wrong with that--I mean, look at BARBRA and James Brolin!!!!!!!!!!  But at least, in his 70's, he is still one good looking guy!!!!!!!!!  What's the matter, Reese???????  Are you suffering from low self-esteem??????  Because, honey, with your Oscar and a touch up job, you could do much better than Toth, who looks one step removed from the John Belushi or Chris Farley clans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Reese, honey, you are toast, and the Raving Queen has spoken!!!!!!!!  You of all folk should understand how Southerners carry a grudge, and they will not forget this lightly!!!!!!!!!!!  Your career hasn't been so hot of late--now it is going to TANK!!!!!!!!!!  You will be lucky, after all this, if you can act opposite Elisabeth Shue in 3-D piranha movies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             After the horror of Boston last week, girls, this story is so much fun!!!!!!!!!
And it can only get better, so stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Because the Plat Du Jour, darlings, is going to be Southern Fried Reese!!!!!!!!!!!