I May Have Dreamed A Dream, Darlings!!!!!!!!!! But What On Earth Does It Mean???????????

                                One thing I will say for taken klonopin, loves--it relaxes me enough to go to sleep, and, when I am able to remember them, it causes me to have some strange dreams.  Last night, I dreamt I was walking through an abandoned carnival.  In my dream sequence, I was walking through grass grown wild, and walked past two dilapidated rides--a Round-Up (that circular thing you stand up in, and whirl around) and the Octopus, (a tentacled ride, with seats attached, which would rise in the air, and spin around) some with seats,. some without.

                                  When I came to, I asked myself two questions--why did I dream that, and what is it with me and abandoned carnivals???????

                                     The first is easy.  I am anticipating my viewing of the NY Philharmonic's "Carousel," and one of my treasured moments in the show--when Louise confronts the Carnival Boy on an abandoned site, as they go into their spectacular pas de deux--the dance piece that, for me, equals Donna McKechnie doing "The Music And The Mirror" in "A Chorus Line."    The second is a fascination with abandoned carnivals/amusement parks--from the opening shots of "Journey To The Unknown," to Ray Bradbury's "Something Wicked This Way Comes," one of my favorite books.

                                       Amusement parks and carnivals, be they operating or abandoned, have always exerted a pull on me.  This is because they are the one place that give me open permission to step into a world of fantasy legitimately, and make my way through it, not unlike Dorothy doing the same thing in Oz. The color and garishness always appealed to the theatrical in me, while the rides (many of them I did when young; the thought today makes me tremble) were architectural wonders that, when young, provided me with stunning sensory thrills!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Indeed, for all the darkness lurking beneath the surface--a darkness that unmistakably appeals to me--being in a carnival, running or not, is one place where I feel safest.  I cannot explain why, except, imprisoned for a limited time in my fantasy, reality is blocked, and the safety of that illusory world envelopes me.  As Blanche Du Bois says in Tennessee Williams' masterwork, "A Streetcar Named Desire," "I don't want realism!  I want magic!"  The carnival is where I get it.

                                         And, as I eventually watch the "Carousel Ballet," I know I will be overwhelmed again.  Like BARBRA once sang in "Have I Stayed Too Long At The Fair?"--"I wanted to live in a carnival city!!!!!!!!"

                                             There are times, darlings, when I feel I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!