Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Bring Back The Golden Age Days Of "King Of The Zombies," and "Zombies On Broadway!!!!!!!!!"


                                 Once upon a time, darlings, zombie movies used to be campy and fun! How I used to enjoy, in my childhood, Saturday afternoon screenings of Monogram Pictures' (trashiest of all Hollywood studios!!!!!!!!!!) classic, "King Of The Zombies."  There is one unforgettable moment. where a character says, "If there is one thing I don't want to be, zombies is both of them!"

                                   Priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Then there was 1945's "Zombies On Broadway," where Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi practically team up to parody themselves, in a story involving a 1940s New York impresario, searching for a real zombie to use in his nightclub act!   This is one that should be adapted to the Broadway stage, kiddies!!!!!!!!  I see a TONY Award right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Alas, eventually zombie movies became something serious, as in the case of 2002's "28 Days Later," which is actually a very good movie.  Even poor Jane Austen had zombies imposed on her;  as if Mr. Darcy having his calf stroked by Keira Knightley at the end of "Pride And Prejudice" was not bad enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      But now, NOW---------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Yesterday, Monsieur dragged--actually dragged me, darlings!!!!!!!  Screaming!!!!!!!!!--into the Alpine Movie Theater in Bay Ridge, to see "World War Z."  The most interesting thing I have to say about it up front is that it was written, that is, based on a graphic novel, by a young man named Max Brooks!  Who just happens to be the son of Mel Brooks and the late, great Anne Bancroft!!!!!!!!!!!  In at least one moment in the film, he demonstrates a sense of humor comparable to his parents, but for most of the movie it is standard apocalyptic zombie trash, done on a super duper budget, granted, but still gives off the air of "been there, done that!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                         Nevertheless, there are three amazing things about the film.  The first is that, no matter what, Brad Pitt's hair remains perfect!!!!!!!!!!  This must be a holdover from his relationship with Jennifer Aniston, who has made more of a career out of her hair than Fantine in "Les Miserables."  However, Brad is not that far behind; I was expecting to see at least a shot of him washing, combing, or blow drying, but he does nothing--and STILL, not a hair out of place!!!!!!!!!!!!  This is one element of suspense where the movie catches one by surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           The second is an amazing blows-everyone-off-the-screen one scene performance by that great actor, David Morse!!!!!!!!!  This film could have used a lot more of David, but with such a high budget, he and Brad were the only relatively well known actors that were affordable; everyone else here is unknown to me.

                                            The third, and best thing in the entire film, comes when Brad arrives at WHO Research Headquarters. Therein, encased in a transparent glass booth, is this Black female zombie, who at first I thought looked like Audra McDonald on crack, but who I am convinced--yes, girls!!!!!!!!--is just a freaked out Angela Davis!!!!!!!!!!  Hons, I don't know what this chick is on, but even hard core druggies would avoid this stuff.  She does more spazzing than either Patty Duke in "The Miracle Worker," or Linda Blair in "The Exorcist!"  Of course, this film could have used more of her!  Right On, Angela!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             It is this sequence where Max Brooks shows a modicum of his parents' humor! The rest of the movie demonstrates he has been spending too much time reading and ripping off other graphic novels, and apocalyptic stories!!!!!!!!!!!  By now, audiences have had it!!!!!!!!!!! Who cares???????????

                                              Bring back the Wild Man of Borneo!  You know, the guy in the Little Rascals, who runs around, going, "Yum, yum, eat 'em up!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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