It has been three years, darlings! Three years since the tragic passing of Tyler Clementi, and its impact, which still endures. My thoughts go out, most of all, to the Clementis, on this day, but, in the wake of what has been a rather interesting month--one which included the suicide of Rebecca Sedwick, followed soon after by the Pope's message of acceptance and inclusion--I have to wonder what Tyler would have thought about all this. I think he is looking down and smiling.
And I agree with his brother, James, who, in his article in the Huffington Post, said that, were Tyler here, it would have been he and James doing the activist work. But that now the mantle has been passed to their parents. And they--James, too-have done much.
James says in his travels he has met many people whom he wished he could introduce Tyler to. By that token, I myself wish I could have met him. And spoken to him. I know exactly what I would have done. I would have held up two movie photos--one of Vivien Leigh, fist raised to the sky, in the concluding shot of the first half of "Gone With The Wind.," and the other, of course, of Jennifer Jones facing her tormentors (one of whom is played by Vincent Price) in "The Song Of Bernadette." I would not expect these to have the same impact on Tyler, as they did me, but the message which I would impart to them would--find yourself something that holds you in place as an individual; something that says it is OK to be what you are, against all odds. I was fortunate that I did, in the most unlikely of places. Even if Tyler had not found that thing yet, I still wish if I could have done the above; if others had, perhaps we would not be having this discussion today.
When Tyler passed, he had just started his freshman year of college. It pains me that, were he here, he would already be in his senior year, making plans for the future. We shall never know what that future would be.
I said earlier Tyler might very well be looking down at all the change in the face of his passing, and be smiling. I suppose I should, too, but I still cannot help, on this day, tearing up , over a life too soon lost, and a good guy too soon taken from us. I can only imagine how his family feels today.
What can be done? Remember, and don't be afraid to embrace those memories. And don't be afraid to reach out to those who may be in need, even if it turns out you are wrong. Better to err on the side of caution.
At my recent, that is 40 year, high school reunion, one of my classmates, interestingly, asked me when I first knew I was gay. He apologized if this embarrassed me, but it did not, at all. I had to think for a minute, because, in the time and milieu in which I was raised, this knowledge only came to me, in retrospect. And this is what I said.
It happened around fifth grade. The TV show, "The Fugitive," was popular, then, and I eventually came to understand I had a crush on its leading man--David Jansen. The other was in the Nancy Drew books I read that year. Yes, I loved Nancy's friends, outfits, roadster, and going to luncheon.
But I got the warmest feeling whenever Carolyn Keene (which was a pseudonym, and whom I suspect might have been a big old queen, anyway!!!!) would mention Nancy's father--always!!!--as "handsome lawyer
Let's see, how shall I end this?????? I mentioned earlier, about that photo of Vivien Leigh, and holding it up to Tyler as a symbolic template for finding your right to your own individuality. Thanks to technology today, I can present the entire sequence in all its glory, to Tyler, and those in need!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here it is!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rest In Peace, Tyler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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