Wednesday, December 11, 2013

If You Are Going To Get Hysterical, Darlings, Make Sure You Have Beautiful Hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                                      Girls, I cannot tell you how much it has done for life in the bedroom, with Monsieur and I alternating trash with Investigation Discovery!  The latest incarnations were viewed several nights back, both featuring actresses with stunning hair--Barbara Parkins and Karen Black--who made it abundantly clear that a good hairstyle is a prime requisite for a successful hysterical scene.

                                         Let us start with the first one, called "The New House," although, until I saw it listed, I thought the title was "The House On Pleasant Hill."  This is the one with Barbara.  She and her husband (played by David Birney) move into a new home in this locale, while she is expecting a baby.  They have Jeannette Nolan as their housekeeper, which instantly got my suspicions going; Nolan was one of several voices mixed and used as Mother Bates in Hitchcock's "Psycho."  So, I first thought she was skulking around, up to no good.

                                         Barbara Parkins roams about the house a good deal of the time, showing us how gorgeous her hair is.  She begins hearing things--footsteps, disembodied voices, the voices of townspeople, even the laughter of a girl about to be hanged to death!

                                          Once again, librarians save the day!  Barbara goes to visit the local one in town, and the librarian there, played by none other than Allyn Ann McLerie, tells her that the old, retired librarian, Mr. De Witt, played by Sam Jaffe, can set her straight.

                                            This may sound familiar, darlings. He informs her that the house she is living in was built on a former gibbet site--the gallows, where people were hanged.  One of the most celebrated executions, which resulted in them being stopped, was that of a 19-year-old girl, named Thomasina Barrros,
played by Caitlin Wyles in all her camp glory.  So much so that I would love to play the role of Thomasina, myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              It seems what Thomasina wants is the baby (because she needs a body to inhabit; a home, so to speak, which she cannot be evicted from!!!!!)  which has been born, is a daughter, and whom Barbara has named Caroline. Guess what happens?  Thomasina's spirit is absorbed into Caroline, who grows up to be a wild child, perfectly just in time for the Punk Rock era!!!!!!!!!!!  Fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 This episode was also the pilot for the series "Ghost Story," featuring Sebastian Cabot, as Hitchcockian host, Winston Essex.  None of this went anywhere, but is now enjoyed by those of us who love trash on DVD!

                                                    And watch how perfect Barbara's hair is in every hysterical scene! How it flows in texture, and rhythm, just when she is falling apart, at the seams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                       Something we should all strive for, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           However, when it comes to hair and hysteria, no one tops Karen Black!  In "Bad Connection," she plays a war widow, whose husband, Michael, was killed overseas. She is dating a guy named Keith, but is besieged by a series of weird phone calls!  It seems her husband's First Mate died with him, and they made some kind of pact to always watch out for each other. So, the ghost of this guy is harassing her from beyond the grave, because he wants her to remain faithful to Michael, rather than remarry Keith.

                             Girls, I am telling you, the scene, where Karen falls back onto her box spring bed, withes and screams, hair strewing about is priceless!  I couldn't tell if she was in hysterics, or having an orgasm!!!!!!!!  Maybe both!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              And you know what?  The First Mate ghost is so wimpy, when he corners Karen out on the pier, where their ship, The Promise, is located, and he attempts to rise out of the water and climb onto the pier, all it takes is a not too swift kick from Karen to send him flying back!  Maybe that is why he was only First Mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                This story is slow moving, but when Karen gets going, boy do things heat up.

                                 I never look THIS  good on my bed, even when I am NOT hysterical, darlings!!!!!!!!!!
                                       

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