My Favorite Clip, Darlings, Was Of Chicken Lady Riding Mall Horse, And Having An Orgasm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Over the holidays, my equally movie mad--but technically brilliant--friend, Chris (you know, the Cineaste???????) gifted me with a lovely Christmas compilation DVD!!!!  It featured all  kinds of things--"The Nightmare Before Christmas," 'Charlie Brown,' the SNL sketch with Jane Curtin and Gilda Radner playing Joan and Christina Crawford--and some real gems, like the famous scene from John Waters' "Female Trouble," where Divine, as Dawn Davenport, whom we all at some time wanted to be girls, knocks over her family Christmas tree, crushing her mother beneath, and simply outraging her father-- because she did not get her Cha Cha Heels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Sounds like a deal breaker to me, dolls!  Pretty much what might have happened at my house!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  But the unabashed highlight, as far as I was concerned, was Chicken Lady, from The Kids In The Hall!!!!!!!!!!

                                    In the segment, Chicken Lady, who does the same thing she always has done the day before, turns up at the local mall, during Holiday time, because she wants to ride the mechanical horsie!  However, there is a child already seated atop, and a defensive, irate mother--we've all met THOSE, haven't we??????--who cannot understand why Chicken Lady simply cannot wait!!!!!!!!!

                                   Not only can he she not wait; she has GOT to get on that horse, because she has to....masturbate!!!!!!!!!!!!  

                                   That's right, girls!  Believe me, this outdoes Philip Roth!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    The mother, affronted by such graphic language in front of her child, runs off to get an authority figure.  Chicken Lady gets on the horse, and, after bumming a quarter, begins to ride, and do what comes natural to her!  Every time she has an orgasm, there is a big, bombastic, bomb-like explosion!!!!!!!!  By the second one, the patrons were fleeing the mall,and I was on the floor, unable to contain my raucous laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I am sorry I could not provide a video accompaniment, darlings!  Maybe you will have better luck than I, looking!!!!!!!!  You have GOT to see this, girls; it is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      This also comes under the rubric, "Do Not Try Out In Public!"

                                       Remember, dears, we are all Masters Of Our Domains!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!