Monday, November 3, 2014

Remember Those "Regularity" (Or "Irregularity") Commercials On TV, During The Sixties????????????????????????


                                 The image was always black and white, then.  The camera faded in on a  group of elderly folk seated at a bench, or walking slowly through the bucolic atmosphere of a town park. A gentle, soothing male voice would pipe in, after a few seconds...."Regularity....Were you born that way?...Some people think regularity means daily regularity."  But doctors say what's normal is what's normal for you?

                                    When I was very  young, how could I have ever known all this was talk about taking a shit?  I mean, come on!!!!!!!!!!!  I was so naive I thought regularity/irregularity was some kind of condition limited exclusively to old people!  What the hell did  I know?

                                         Even the word "laxative" was introduced in one of the Ex-Lax commercials, all it meant to me was they were chocolate, which I loved.  My father must have had some issues, because I recall, when small, sneaking into the medicine chest, and breaking off a piece of Ex-Lax, thinking it was chocolate candy.  Fortunately, my mother caught me, and stopped me in time. But back then, Ex-Lax, or Helen Elliot!!!!!!!!!  What was the difference?????????????//

                                           Well, girls, that was then, this is now!!!!!!!!!!  Today they talk about constipation, menstrual flow, to the point where they should redo some of these commercials and say, "Have you taken a dump today???????  No???????  Oh, shit!!!!!!!!!!!"  Maybe even have Mr. Hankey make a special cameo appearance.  At least during Christmas time!!!!!!!!  All that Holiday feasting, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               But, honestly, where is the balance between delicacy and indelicacy??????  Why can't there be a meeting ground of the two, so that matters like these would be comprehensible to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                Like another product of that day said, "Everyone needs help, now and then!!!!!!!!!!"

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