The image was always black and white, then. The camera faded in on a group of elderly folk seated at a bench, or walking slowly through the bucolic atmosphere of a town park. A gentle, soothing male voice would pipe in, after a few seconds...."Regularity....Were you born that way?...Some people think regularity means daily regularity." But doctors say what's normal is what's normal for you?
When I was very young, how could I have ever known all this was talk about taking a shit? I mean, come on!!!!!!!!!!! I was so naive I thought regularity/irregularity was some kind of condition limited exclusively to old people! What the hell did I know?
Even the word "laxative" was introduced in one of the Ex-Lax commercials, all it meant to me was they were chocolate, which I loved. My father must have had some issues, because I recall, when small, sneaking into the medicine chest, and breaking off a piece of Ex-Lax, thinking it was chocolate candy. Fortunately, my mother caught me, and stopped me in time. But back then, Ex-Lax, or Helen Elliot!!!!!!!!! What was the difference?????????????//
Well, girls, that was then, this is now!!!!!!!!!! Today they talk about constipation, menstrual flow, to the point where they should redo some of these commercials and say, "Have you taken a dump today??????? No??????? Oh, shit!!!!!!!!!!!" Maybe even have Mr. Hankey make a special cameo appearance. At least during Christmas time!!!!!!!! All that Holiday feasting, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But, honestly, where is the balance between delicacy and indelicacy?????? Why can't there be a meeting ground of the two, so that matters like these would be comprehensible to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like another product of that day said, "Everyone needs help, now and then!!!!!!!!!!"
And remember to see a doctor for an erection lasting more than 4 hours!
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ReplyDeleteCan you imagine? Indeed!