A West Coast 'Prada' With Surprisingly Human Overtones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Shanna Mahin has the potential of being a West Coast Lauren Weisberger.  She does not have Lauren's hair, but she does have the kind of quirky California look that makes her perfect  to chronicle an area that those of us who are Eastern, dahlings, simply do not understand.

                           There are several things I learned from reading "Oh! You Pretty Things," and one of the main ones is that if you are a woman trying to make it career wise in L.A., you have more obstacle there than anywhere!  For example--

                               1. You cannot succeed without augmenting your tits!

                                2. A woman can always get a job as a stunt vagina.  What I want to know
                                    is, does the same apply for men. Can a man get a job as a stunt cock?
                                    Believe me, there are plenty out there who would qualify!

                                 3. On Saturday nights, you have to dine at Nobu Malibu!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 4. At the Beverly Hills Spring Sauna, you can hang out with Liv Tyler!

                                 5. If you are an A-Lister, then, every morning, before your bedroom door,
                                     you have to have a protein shake delivered to you!

                                  6. But not before you have your morning coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            How would I know such things?  I mean, the West Cost scares me.  My niece lives there, but so, oh, God, does Joan Didion!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            What I liked best was the section where the West Coast contingent goes to New York for a weekend, proving that West Coasters don't know shit about real life, which is only found in New York anyway, since, to us New Yorkers, New York is the only thing that matters!

                               You do NOT order tickets for "The Lion King."  That thing is so stale by now, and Julie's career has dried up like a beached whale!  When you go to New York, you see what is current and selling.  Like, right now, "Fun Home," or "An American In Paris!"

                                  You do NOT stay at the Parke Meridien Hotel!  I mean, who does anymore? If you are going to sink that low, you might as well stay at a Best Western or the Edison, both in the Theater District, with all the access to importance you could want. And W is not far from there!
But personally, I prefer something more understated like the St. Regis.  I mean, not staying in a prestige hotel in NYC is like not staying at the Chateau Marmont, in LA?  Why stay anywhere else?

                                    Do not dine at some Italian thing no one has ever heard of!  You will be run out of town so fast!

                                     Don't bring that trampy California sense of fashion to our city!  WE are the ones with taste!  WE have ANNA, after all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       And finally--

                                       Try to ignore Jersey or Queens, when driving to the airport!  Think of them as unmarked territories planted with war mines!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Yes, darlings, I might have done a bitch job on this book, but I did love it,
and there is plenty to learn from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Now, how about my tea, with Hayley Mills????????????????