Remember the "I Love Lucy" episode--my favorite, in fact!!!!!!!--when Lucy ruins the Phipps Department Store commercial, without knowing she is actually doing it live? That is how I felt on Friday, when I went to see "Novitiate," at the spanking, brand new Landmark Theater on West 57th Street. My movie mad friend, Chris, and I were determined to see it at the Angelika, a theater we mutually hate. But, then, as Lucy says, she "went to Phipps." So, in a sense, did we.
Let's start with location. This theater is not just ON West 57th Street, girls, it is at the very END, on the corner of 12th Avenue, with the West Side Highway, parks and paths, and the Hudson River staring at you, literally, in the face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's not just one has to walk on West 57th Street to find this hell hole, it is that you have to walk to the end of the world to get there. And even though this area has been Yupped up considerably, it is still isolated. Imagine being an older person--older, even, than I--or trying to do this on an icy, Winter afternoon, or evening. Who, in their right mind would go?
Are you kidding me? And the architect who built this monstrosity seems like he was trying to emulate production designer Boris Aronson. The outside looks like "Company" should be staged as an outdoor presentation during the Summer months, while the bar, inside, and to the left, has a slick floor that mirrors the one in the original 1971 production of "Follies," also designed by Aronson. I was ready to do "Who's That Woman?' right then and there. It might have livened up my visit.
For what it is, the theater is oversized and over staffed. Get this--the admission price is $18.50. That's right! Senior Discount is $16.50. Big deal. By the way, that last price was what I paid in 1977 to see Andrea McArdle and the Original Company of "Annie," back when it was the hottest ticket on Broadway! And that was an Orchestra seat!
So, it is spacious! So, it has chairs that incline back, and cushions for your feet. So, you can place a cup in a holder, sleeping and drinking one's way through a film, which is supposed to be an artistic experience one is paying to see. So what??????????????????????
There is no way this joint can sustain itself. It is too large, and too isolated. Unless each theater plays a blockbuster hit or a vintage classic that draws crowds--and how many times can those select few films be shown to turn a profit, here????--this place does not stand a financial chance. Who is the dumb manager of this place? Who made the dumb decision to build a theater here?
Oh, here's an irony. The film we went to see, "Novitiate," deals with Catholic regimentation of aspirant nuns, circa 1964. I will get to the film in another post. But the theater offers its own regimentation. Once a ticket is purchased, the viewer is not left alone, till seating time. One has to choose a seat, and then--THEN--a staff member escorts the patron there. Like on Broadway, or the Met Opera. To an empty house, that, at the screening I attended, topped off at maybe an audience of six, total!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meanwhile, here is a segment of Lucy in my favorite episode.
To paraphrase Lucy, "I want to show you what the Landmark did for me!"
What a gyp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To the Angelika, next time!!!!!!!!!!!
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