According to what I was taught, Spring begins on March 21. According to the legend I was raised on, Proserpina, daughter of Ceres, spends six months in Hell, and six on Earth.
Those months in Hell are spent with Pluto, God of the Underworld. When she is there, Ceres is sad, which is why the leaves and snow fall, in Autumn and Winter. When she is happy, having her daughter with her, buds burst and the sun shines bright, during Spring and Summer.
So, what is going on? Ceres and Pluto must be having some great big tug of war, and, girls, I am telling you, she is one mad motherfucker!!!!!!!!!! But why????????? Is Pluto trying to get her time extended. And why now? Is he somehow involved with Trump and Putin???????????
Proserpina, you need to come back from Hell, right away! Each time you don't makes your mother's mourning period longer, and while I am sorry for her, I am sorry for my fellow citizens, having to endure her wrath. For Nor'easters in one month??????? Come on, now!
We just got Baby Gojira in his Spring outfit, and while he looks so fetching, even he shivers, a little! Poor Baby Gojira! And I cannot even plan my designers for the Spring, yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a heart, Ceres!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cut this crap, instantly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could have made you Bitch Of The Week! Keep it up, and it could happen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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