I'm A Material Bitch, I'm A Material Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                 "Because we're living in a material world,
                                                     And I am a Material Bitch!"--
                                                   Madonna, "Material Girl!"


                                        Girls, I am telling you, leave it to Madonna to blow the whistle on gay men.  We are all Material Bitches, darlings, and I am a Material Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          It all started back in 1964.  My parents and I were on a trip to California, and we toured what I came to understand was San Simeon, otherwise known as "Hearst's Castle."  And this was years before I even heard of, let alone, saw, "Citizen Kane.
 
                                          Still, I was Material, then.  Because when my parents asked me what I thought of San Simeon, I looked at them and said....."I want it!"

                                            And, of course, back home in Jersey, I had almost every game on the market out there.  And I was the first on my neighborhood to get a skateboard.

                                           But once the hormones kick in, it got worse.

                                            Books, designer clothes, theater tickets--all gay men aspire to these and don't you dare get in our way when we are trying to purchase these. Most stores, when they see me enter, know to give me a wide birth.  You should see when I enter The Strand Bookstore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Because, otherwise, how is a Material Bitch to get his material things?

                                               Here is the Cultural Anthem Of Our Bitch Persuasion!

                                               Thanks, Madonna!

You better believe it, dolls!  We all are!!!!!!!!!!!