We Had A Perfectly Cheesy Christmas, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Really,  girls,  in the face of a pandemic, there  is  no  better kind.

                           First, we watched the 1974 film, "Black  Christmas,"  with Margot Kidder,  Andrea Martin,  and Olivia Hussey playing sorority girls.   I know, it  HAS been  a long time.

                           Directed by Rob  Clark,  and written  by A.  Roy Moore, this might  have been  a preview  of   slaughter fims  to come, since everything here predates devices used by John Carpenter  or Sean  Cunningham,  like  POV killer  shots,  long shot exteriror shots juxtaposing  the  beautiful and macabre, and Olivia Hussey, using her  most  mannered voice,  as she dips  her  toes into  territory better handled by "When A Stranger Calls,"  which did  not  come  along till 1979.  

                              Keir  Dullea, as the  film would have one  think,  is  the killer,  but when the film  ends  with  the now  famous  line, "Agnes,  it's  Billy.  Please don't tell  what we  did,"  one is  not  so sure of  Dullea,  and, of course,  here is  the  setup  for  the  sequel.

                              I  still  say Agnes and Billy were  siblings  who had an incestuous relationship, and  Billy  may be  stalking  girls  in  a  way of getting back at  this sister.   Or maybe he thought one of  the  girls  was his sister.  I would bet Margot;  she was  sexually agressive, and  gets the biggest  laugh in  the film when  she  spells  out F-E-L-L-A-T-I-O as the house  phone number.

                              This  piece of crap passes the time. Perfect  for pandemic  time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         We also watched  "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians,"  which I had  always wanted to see.  This has  a prepubescent  Pia  Zadora, (three years  before  doing  "Henry, Sweet Henry," on Broadway,  back in 1967) and  a bunch of little  known  New York actors, many of  whom  were doing Broadway shows  in  the  eveniing, while  shooting this,  during  the day.  The  little  blond boy who  plays Earthling Billy Foster,  was  in  "Oliver!"

                                             Legend  has it  the  film  was shot  within an airplane hanger  out on  Long  Island.  It looks  it.  The  color photography is cheesy;  the green  martian  make-up  on those  actors looks  like blackface, which  surprises me  this film has not come in for  non-PC allegations.

                                                 Plot?   What  plot?   Earthiling kids  and  Santa Claus abducted by Martians, changes  for  the  better,  than back  to  Earth.  Who cares?

                                                  What  makes the film  worth  watching is  Pia and the visuals.  The latter  are  simply artless; compared  to  the  artistry of  K. Gordon  Murray's earlier  1959 film,  "Santa  Claus," whose art direction  mirrored George  Melies.

                                                      Crap can  be  fun,  darlings!   Even if  it is  not  good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!