Happy Ash Wednesday, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         Now, girls, I have known about Ash Wednesday for years.  It is a day of fast and abstinence.  And no meat.  Which is OK with me.

                           But I just found out today, no milk is allowed on Ash Wednesday.  Any Catholics out there aware of this?  I never heard it before.  David forgot about the meat thing today, so we have to eat out, but with this milk thing, what am I to do?  And I already had a little milk with my oatmeal this morning.

                                A tuna melt, an omelet, pasta--they are all made with milk.  I am screwed.  What am I going to do?

                                  Holy Mother, have mercy on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 And tomorrow I go to the endocrinologist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Shrove Tuesday, Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Darlings, today is the one day of the year I allow myself to eat pancakes.  And then I have to go to the endocrinologist this Thursday.  God, help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Yes, it is finally Shrove Tuesday, because the Lenten Season, culminating in Easter, (with the annual screening of "The Song Of Bernadette") even though things are a little late this year.  Nevertheless, I want to wish a Happy Shrove Tuesday to all, and however you choose to celebrate it, make sure to do so.

                                        I just love that word "Shrove."  It always makes me feel good.  And it gives Tuesday--usually the most ignored day of the week--some validity.

                                         So, a Happy Shrove Tuesday to all, and make the most of those luscious goodies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      

"I Am Elizabeth Selwyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

                          Well, I am not, darlings, but on this day in the year of the Lord, 1692, the people of Whitewood, Massachusetts condemned Elizabeth Selwyn as a witch.  It was hoped that the flames would cleanse her evil, and her lust for blood that made her bring about the death of Abigail Adams.

                            This, of course, darlings, is for aficionados of the 1960 film "The City Of The Dead," which I like better, but was distributed in America as "Horror Hotel."

                              She curses the town, and within a year the children of those who condemned her die mysteriously.  Her ghost was said to be seen walking in the cemetery.

                               Just another thing that makes March a fun month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               And please, girls, if you go to your execution, try to look better than this!

And I Cannot Say Enough About Kieran Culkin's Performance In "A Real Pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            Who would have thought Kieran would become the most successful of all the Culkins??????????????

                             I sensed his promise, back in 2002, in "Igby Goes Down," which I just loved.

                             Now, 22 years later, Kieran has done it again.

                             He had had amazing help from writer and director Jesse Eisenberg, who fashioned the film, "A Real Pain," by himself.  The movie is guaranteed to hit audiences emotionally, but in various and different ways.

                              Though it is about two estranged cousins who journey to Poland, to see not only the house where their late grandmother had lived, it also includes them visiting the most notorious of concentration camps, Auschwitz.  However, the sequence was not shot there, but at another Polish camp called Majdanek.

                                 Yet, while incorporating the Holocaust into the story, it is not really a Holocaust story, but one of self-discovery between two individuals.

                                 Eisenberg and Culkin--the latter especially--are the center of the film, but Jennifer Grey (How did she get cast?  And what was the last thing she did?) plus the rest of the cast deliver stellar performances. And there are some gorgeous picture-perfect shots of the Polish cities and countryside.

                                   But it is Culkin's charismatic yet sharply defined performance that will haunt this moviegoer for a long time.  I tapped right into him.  Someone who has been through a lot, including familial estrangement--I know about that, darlings!!!!!!!!!!--lack of structure and placement--So characteristic of my early youth! --and masking it all with bonhomie and humor. I certainly connected with him.  But he also houses a terrible secret, and when revealed, I certainly understood him better.   Wait till you see the movie, girls, to discuss this last.

                                      I am cheering for Kieran to win at the Oscars tonight.  He has won almost every other acting award for this performance.  But if not, both he and Moncia Barbaro will be remembered for their portrayals.

                                      Hey, Kieran!  Work more!  We want to see more of you!

                                      I swore, girls, I would never sit through another performance of "Glengarry Glen Ross," but with Kieran coming to Broadway to play the coveted role of Ricky Roma, I just may have to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Am Telling You, Run To Your Nearest Theater, Or Streaming Service, To See Monica Barbaro's Stunning Performance As Joan Baez In "A Complete Unknown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                               The most important thing I learned?  I did not know Joan Baez made a great cup of coffee!!!!!!!!!!!   We have that in common!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                 Yes, I know the movie is about Bob Dylan, and Timothee Chalamet gives a brilliant performance, if a bit too good looking, as Bob Dylan, and Edward Norton is equally so as Pete Seeger.  I wish I could have heard him sing "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?"

                                But it is Monica Barbaro as Joan Baez whom I could not keep my eyes off of.  Her manner, look and singing, while not as pure and high, capture the essence of the early Joan; so much so that I wished the movie had been about her.  If so, it would have been the greatest musical performance captured on film since Ronee Blakley in "Nashville."  And that was 50 years ago.

                               How I wanted more screen time from Monica.  But the time she gets is enough to certify not only her genius but seeing this movie more than once.  I cannot recall the last time I have been so blown away by an individual's acting performance.

                                 I owe Monica an apology.  When I first heard about the film, and that someone was portraying Joan Baez, I thought, "The nerve!"  But catch Monica, and all doubts are put to shame.

                                  She deserves an Oscar tonight.  But if not, her performance will remain permanently iconic.  And it will probably become her signature role!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     Catch her, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, What A Difference An Understudy Makes--At Least At The Current Revival Of "Gypsy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                              This is what you have been waiting for, darlings, so here it is.

                                               David and I first saw the revival of "Gypsy," with Audra McDonald and Company, on January 26, 2025.   No one was out that day, so there were no understudies.

                                                 If you go back to my original post, readers, you will discover I was less than enchanted.  As was David.  After the Christmas week shutdown, when they had no understudies--at least, not one for Rose--we wondered what it would be like to see someone beside Audra in the role.  Would it be better.  Could it, possibly??????????????

                                                  Well, Fate came to our rescue, when we got to see "Gypsy" a second time, on Saturday, February 15, 2025, less than a month after having seen it the first time.  Unfortunately, it was due to Audra McDonald having a death in her family, which I am sorry about, but it necessitated her being out for several performances.  And the minute I heard the news, I wondered if there was an understudy, and how she might be in the role.

                                                    Thanks to our TIDF friends, we got a chance to see the understudy, Miss Tryphena Wade.  Remember that name, darlings!  And we were extra fortunate because the two actresses playing Baby and Dainty June, respectively, were also out.  What a blessing all this turned out to be. It was like seeing an altogether different show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                        From the moment Miss Wade stormed down the aisle, Chowsie in hand, crying "Sing out, Louise," there was electricity in the house.  And when she went into the opening of "Some People," Rose's first big song, David and I looked at one another and nodded our heads. Miss Wade may have been costumed and coiffed to look like Audra, but hers was a voice of a much different, and higher, caliber.

                                                        Meaning Wade had the vocal chops to handle the role, and demonstrated it, right up to her finishing act, with "Rose's Turn."  There were still changes in the music of the latter that I did not agree with, and that were not needed for Miss Wade, but were obviously needed for Audra.  I felt both sorry and disappointed for those who did not know in advance, like I did, that Audra would not be appearing.  Many understandably asked for money back, to see Audra another time.  I wish they had stayed.  Because holding the two performances against one another, Wade's was unquestionably better.  She stopped the show with the first act finale of "Everything's Coming Up Roses," singing it the way it should be sung, and then did it again with "Rose's Turn."  Her vocal and breath control were perfect, unlike Audra, and she could easily have done this eight shows a week without losing her voice.

                                                         Ditto Marley Gomes and Sasha Hutchins, as the two Junes.  Gomes, as Baby June, demonstrated a vibrancy that the original lacked, coming off more as Mama Rose's dream, than an annoying pre-Shirley Temple wannabe.  As for Miss Hutchins, she brought meaning to the office scene, leading in to "If Momma Was Married," registering the right amount of bitterness and resentment, and in her own modulated voice, not the artificial child one, that was demonstrably better than the original, and on a par with Leigh Ann Larkin, back in the Patti Lupone production.

                                                           Danny Burstein continues to be the perfect Herbie, and Joy Woods is still the show's revelation as Louise/Gypsy.  But there was something extra to this performance we saw.  Having Wade as Rose gave the show a jolt, where everyone seemed to rise to her level, making for an altogether different, and better, "Gypsy" than the one we saw the first time.

                                                            Understudies only sub when called for.  But, girls, my sources tell me that sometime in either July or August, Audra will be out on vacation.  My advice to you is, if you want to see "Gypsy" at its best, wait till then, when Tryphena goes on.  You will be so glad you did.

                                                               Interestingly, I have not heard a word about a cast recording of this show.  With Audra such a name, and for Joy Woods' "Little Lamb," a recording would be worth the effort.

                                                                Darlings, in my over fifty years of theatergoing, this is the first time I have seen a show where the understudies are better than the originals.

                                                                   Oh, George C. Wolfe's staging is still annoying--Rose eating dog food--why? --which she never did in other productions.  The children's numbers are done on the cheap and so is just the single "ROSE" at the end of "Rose's Turn."  Most embarrassing of all, at the first act finale, Wolfe has Rose clutching Louise in a headlock that comes off more as funny than tragic. Joy Woods is a better actress than that; like Celia Keenan- Bolger, she can convey a myriad of emotions just by standing and saying nothing, and such would have been better for this moment, as it would truly convey the horror the reluctant Louise knows she is in for.

                                                                     As the original Rose, Ethel Merman once said, "The show is frozen--"Birds-Eye!!!!!!!!!!!!"  So, there is not much that can be done now about Wolfe's staging, though how I would love a crack at it.  "Gypsy," with its dramatic book and score will always remain a classic.

                                                                     But who would have thought the understudies would have given this classic the stature it really deserves?????????????????

                                                                       One last thing, darlings.  I am still campaigning strongly for Chowsie and Caroline to get TONY nominations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Svengoolie" Did Not Start March Out On A Good Note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Having seen the Jack Palance version of "Dracula" once, there is no need to see it again, darlings. 

                                          This was a cheap made-for-TV quickie redo of the Bram Stoker story.  It tried to be faithful to the source, but those final scenes of Dracula running around Los Angeles were just too much.  Anyone knows if Dracula goes anywhere, it is straight to London.   If further east, maybe New York City, but Los Angeles????????????  Are you kidding?????????????

                                            David and I did not care to see this a second time, so we watched something else.  Actually, I watched something else, although David came into it, after a pivotal sequence.

                                               As for what it was, all shall be revealed.  But stay tuned, girls, because it is time for a big reveal right now.

                                               So, stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Anniversary, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today, "The Sound Of Music" Turns 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Can you imagine, darlings????????????  Six decades ago, today (on what would have then been Jennifer Jones'46 birthday and today would have been her 106th!) Julie Andrews took that iconic hillside twirl, the world gasped at its beauty, and things have never been the same since.

                               I shall always remember my first viewing of "The Sound Of Music," which my parents took me to for my 11th birthday.  And now I am 70!!!!!!!!!  Oh, my God, does that make me feel old.

                              I remember as a child, oldsters talking about something I then never heard of, called "Gone With The Wind," and their remembering seeing it when it first came out.

                              Now, I feel I am in the same position, regarding "The Sound Of Music."

                              Never did I think two of the children would be gone by now.  Yet, the eldest girls, Charmian Carr (Liesl) and Heather Menzies (Louisa) have left us.  The last time I saw the film, with the final shot of everyone going over the mountain and down, I cried real tears, as it was like saying goodbye to Charmian and Heather.

                                 As a child I so wanted to be Angela Cartwright or Heather Menzies.  I would practice some of the "Do-Re-Mi" dance steps in front of my house, and then the jumping on the steps, when I was so young.

                                  I wouldn't try it now.  I could break my back, if I fell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                But I so look forward to a 60th anniversary theatrical screening of this film!

                                 Let Julie and the hills come alive once more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                Happy 60th Anniversary to "The Sound Of Music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Welcome, Darlings, To March!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   Girls, we are in the third month already, which means the worst of Winter is presumably behind us, Spring is coming, and people can return to the outdoors.  Whether we get a lion, or a lamb is not important, though I do prefer the traditional order.

                                   March is also Mammoth Books Month, where one should read a book of 800 or more pages.  I did my service in February, with "Lies And Sorcerers,' at 777 pages.  Close enough.

                                        The Oscars are tomorrow.  And who knows what movies and shows I will see, or books read.

                                         Happy March, everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Victorian Farewell To February!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             For such a short month, a lot seemed to happen, darlings.

                           Valentine's Day, with chocolates, Ground Hog Day, Blythe Danner's birthday, two friends of ours having birthdays this month, so it seemed like all we did was go to birthday parties.  We got a treat when we saw "Gypsy" a second time, and it was infinitely better than the first. More on that to come. Then "Company," at The Gallery Players in Brooklyn Heights..  I also consumed a mammoth book, "Lies And Sorcery," by Elsa Morante, so I am ahead of the March madness for Mammoth Books.   Svengoolie ran something I always wanted to see "Sssssss,: with Heather Menzies. the 24th was my nephew's birthday, the 25th the 57th anniversary of my first viewing of "Gone With The Wind," and now today is my sister's birthday, who turns 85, and is thriving.

                               Yes, a short month, but many events crammed into it.  Hope yours was as exciting as ours.  Though February 12 was a sad day--the seventh anniversary of my father's passing.

                                   I hope February was as good to you as it was to us.

                                   And now for March--lion or lamb???????????????

                                    We shall see.

                                     See you next month.

And A Happy Birthday To Josh Groban!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         This is quite a Musical Theater Day.  Shelley Plimpton and Josh Groban.

                                          Go on and swoon, girls.  Fortunately, Josh has the voice to match those looks, and he injects a certain warmth into his singing, and a passion when performing, as he did so brilliantly in "Sweeney Todd" several years back.

                                          Today Josh Groban turns 44, and I never looked so good at that age!  He defines and defies the number with his youthful ebullience.

                                             I feel so lucky to have seen him, and Ruthie Ann Miles in "Sweeney Todd."

                                             And I am still waiting for that revival of "Les Misérables," with Josh as Jean Valjean, and Ruthie as Fantine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               But today, Josh the day is yours!  Do what you will!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Happy Birthday, Josh Groban!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               

Happy Birthday, Shelley Plimpton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           I feel old today, darlings.  Shelley Plimpton, who was in the original cast of "HAIR," and introduced my favorite song in it, "Frank Mills" to the world, turn 78!!!!!!!!!!!!  Seventy-eight! Can you believe it, girls???????????  I wonder if Shelley believes it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                             Of course, one must listen to "Frank Mills" today; I will provide it on here.

                                            But Shelley, at 78???????????  It does not seem possible.

                                           Nevertheless, it is.  Shelley, hope you have a fabulous day doing what you want on your special day.

                                           And love from us all who have loved your rendition of "Frank Mills' for lo these many years.

                               Happy Birthday, Shelley!  No one does this like you!

Girls, I Am Telling You, Avoid "The War Of The Garganturas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                       It is rare, if ever, darlings, I tell readers to avoid a "Svengoolie" screening, but this time, I must insist.

                                       "The War Of The Gargantas," made in 1966, was Toho's attempt to come up with some new monsters.  They had done well with King Ghidorah, and Gamera, the flying turtle.  But here, all they came up with were these two ape like creatures, who are twin siblings fighting each other--a sort of modern day, Japanese version of "Gargantua and Pantagruel," by Rabelais.

                                        Girls, I am telling you, what is the point?  The monsters are boring, one cannot care about them, either way, and the actors, always weaker than the monsters, are even more so, because the monsters themselves are not strong, as characters.

                                            As posted, we are off to "Gypsy" tonight, so we have an excuse.  Had this not materialized, I would have subjected David to "Promising Young Woman," which I still have reservations on, regarding my fear as to how he would react to the film.

                                             There is nothing to react to in "The War Of The Gargantuas," except to experience supreme ennui.

                                               And a Toho film, minus Gojira???????????  Who cares????????????????

The Heights Players Stage A 95% Perfect "COMPANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                           Sondheim's musical on marriage, first done back in 1970, still has relevance and meaning today, and let me start out by saying that the women in this production are sublime.

                              Anna Peterson, as Marta, delivers my favorite song here, "Another Hundred People," with all the passion and resonance it requires.  It is no surprise that she stops the show.  Ditto Rachel Thomson, who delivers the swiftly pattering "Getting Married Today" with skill and diction allowing the audience to understand every word.  She also stops the show.  So does Luisa Boyaggi as Joanne, who, in "The Ladies Who Lunch," makes the song her own, rather than trying to replicate Elaine Stritch, as I have seen so many do.  And Naomi Rottman is an endearing April.

                                 All the women are endearing.  As for the men, well, less so, but when joined in ensemble numbers, like "Have I Got A Girl For You," they become united and powerful.  This is especially evident with the opening, title number, which starts the show on an almost impossibly high bar but then goes on to live up to it.

                                    Have I mentioned Hilary Goldman's direction, Anne Rebold's musical direction, and Alice Kee's choreography.??????????? These also make the show, and all demonstrate an understanding of the show musically, vocally, and choreographically.  In numbers like "Side By Side" and "What Would We Do Without You,?" one can see the influence of Michael Bennett.  That is because Bennett choreographed the original show, and Kee was smart in following it, as it also foreshadows "A Chorus Line."  Audiences are sometimes confused why Kathy (Skylar Davidson) suddenly comes into Bobby's living room, and starts dancing, while he and April are in bed.  That is because Bennett created this moment for Donna McKechnie, who was in the original production, and would go on to originate Cassie in "A Chorus Line."  Davidson's dancing is impressive, and her movements perfectly align with McKechnie's.  How I would love to see her play Cassie.

                                     So, why only a 95% score?  I am afraid Christopher Herr's Bobby, while acted superbly, and physically suited for the role, is less so vocally.  His rendering of "Marry Me A Little" does not end Act One with the impact it should.  As for "Being Alive," hons, his voice is just not strong enough.  He does not hurt the show but fails to lift it higher to one hundred per cent.

                                      Which does not mean one should miss this "COMPANY."  It plays till this Sunday, so I would say don't miss it. How often does one get to see theater as good as this????????????

                                       Not that often.  Which is all the more reason to go and see it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With Audra McDonald Out For A Few Days, Will It Finally Just Be "Gypsy???????????????"

                                      That is such an interesting question, darlings, and tomorrow night I am going to find out, and then report back here.  Tryphena Wade is the understudy for Rose, and it will be interesting to see how she compares with Audra.  My inclination is that she will blow Audra off the stage!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        But to get the privilege of hearing the "Overture" live, as well as "You've Gotta Get A Gimmick," and to again be dazzled by the revelatory Joy Woods, is a thrill for this Theater Queen.

                                        I am also curious about how the staging has improved, whether it has, or how some of the lesser performers, like the two Junes, will handle their roles.  Hopefully, better than when I first saw them.    And the dressing room scene should be played powerfully, and it was not the last time.

                                        So, girls, I am off to "Gypsy."  Can this revival be saved???????????????

                                         You will be the first to have my answer, dears!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           

Darlings, This Was So Much Fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         I rarely do follow ups on "Svengoolie" showings on here, anymore, because most of them are so repetitious.  But last Saturday, he showed something special, that I had never seen before--the 1973 film "Sssssssssssssss," with Strother Martin a post "Sound Of Music" Heather Menzies.

                         I was expecting this to be a revenge film, where Dr. Stoner (Strother Martin) uses the snakes, all of whom are real, to avenge himself on his perceived wrongdoers.  You get a bit of that, darlings, but unfortunately the film is all over the place.

                         Heather plays Stoner's daughter Kristina, with a hairstyle that makes her look like a repressed lesbian.  Yet, with her short shorts and ample chest, she is the hottest thing in town.  So hot that this dumb jock tries to climb through her bedroom window, but in the process gets tangled with pet snake Larrry, and both of them fall to their deaths.  I cried real tears over the death of Larry.  He was really cute.

                          I credit the actors with having the courage to handle these venomous creatures, themselves.  Maybe they were de-fanged or had their venom removed, but they sue looked real to me.  I wouldn't have done this film, no matter what.  And poor Heather.  I bet she wished she was running back in the Austrian Alps, with Julie Andrews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         But the carnival scene was the best.  Cheaply done, so the sleaze atmosphere was captured perfectly.  And when Heather saw the evolving Snake Man, and recognized their former assistant, Tim, well, she knew then what her father was doing--turning humans into snakes with human brains, so they can outlive everyone.  But what good is a human brain, if one is just a snake?  How can one go to the movies?  Or even watch "Svengoolie."

                            This movie did not think things out too well.  I was hoping the film would end with all of the snakes turning on Strother Martin.  He does get his, but only from a King Cobra, while Heather freaks out on camera, in a famous freeze shot.

                              Oh, girls, it was just so much fun!  Even those who dislike snakes could enjoy this! But I was still saddened by the death of poor Larry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               No wonder there was no sssssssssssequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                     

                         

How The New Math Failed Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I went through the twelve grades of school from 1960 to 1973.  During that time, I was taught something called "The New Math."  It went like this--teachers spoon fed us concepts and expected us to follow what they said word for word.  I was very visual, and I could look at numbers and see other, easier ways to solve the problems.  For instance, in fourth grade, I was taught long division, and the way the teacher wanted us to do it was so convoluted it never made any sense to me.  In sixth grade, I was taught long division the way my parents were, and it made so much sense.  This is when I began to realize that The New Math was a mistake.

                                      Now, boys and girls today, let's face it, the jobs and money, if that is what you want, belong to those skilled in math and science.  I realized this while in grade school but did not care because I was arts driven.  But a part of me regrets my poor math skills.

                                        But were they, really?  As I said, I had a visual sense for numbers, but teachers wanted things done their way.  In eighth grade I had a teacher who was so bored with his job, he could not get through to me the same concepts I mastered in ninth grade.  Same in twelfth, when I took Trigonomery.  

                                          Yet, on my standardized tests, like the PSAT and the SAT, my math scores, while not nearly as high as my verbal, were significantly higher than my performance indicated.  And the year I took Geometry in high school; I aced the course.  I was astonished, and so was my teacher.  So much so, he began talking to me about math as a career option.  I remember telling him while I was certainly happy about this situation, it was some kind of fluke.

                                            My first year of college, I was required to take three credits of Math.  There was a course perfect for students of my type--"Math For Liberal Arts Students."  It was a rehash of the last twelve years, with a dose of probability.  This last I did not do well on.

                                              So, what was the problem?  I say it was "The New Math."  Somewhere, math potential was hidden in me but never developed because this teaching method never allowed it to.  I am not saying if I had been taught differently, I would have become a banker, or an accountant, or an IT guy, but maybe more options would have been opened to me.

                                              I still do math problems for fun sometimes, figuring out easier ways to do it, than I was taught.  Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but overall, the failure was how I was taught, to begin with.

                                                For those out there with children, I ask, is "The New Math" still being taught?

                                                If so, make sure your children avoid it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Conception Of Liza Minnelli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         I know, girls, I know, but it is something that has to be talked about.  And since Liza is about to turn 79 on March 12, now is the perfect time.

                        Anyone who has read or seen "Valley Of The Dolls" knows that the pool scene was based on when Judy Garland caught husband Vincente Minnelli in bed with the pool cleaner.  The poor pool cleaner and poor Judy.

                       I mean, let's face it, Vincente Minnelli was a consummate director, designer, craftsman, artiste, but damn he was just plug ugly.  How in hell did they ever get Liza??????????  Imagine having to look at that face coming at you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Oh, my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Maybe Judy had the good sense to turn her head to the side.

                       And how could Vincente, well.......let's just say it was easier with the pool cleaner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                    There was no in vitro back then, so the only thing I can conclude is the good old, reliable, turkey baster.

                      Marlene Dietrich once said the last man in Hollywood she would sleep with was David O. Selznick.  Honey child had a point.  If pressed for a second, I bet she would have selected Vincente Minnelli.

                        We are so glad Liza is here!  But the idea of her conception in the normal way??????????????   Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!  

                        She inherited Garland's artistry, but not her warmth.  Liza has done wonders, but she could never get under the skin emotionally with a song, the way her mother could.  And she inherited her father's nose.

                          But who knows, with a nose?  It should never stand in the way.

                            Just ask Barbra Streisand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, The Important Thing Is, If One Must Be A Spinster, Do Not Be An Unfashionable Spinster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            I just finished this really fun book called "Victorian Psycho," by Virginia Feito.  She also wrote "Mrs. March" several years back, and I loved that.  In the present novel, she muses on spinsterhood, and says the worst thing is an unfashionable spinster at the opera.

                             I love the idea, but I don't think it should be limited to spinsters or operas.  There is no excuse for anyone--spinster or not--to be unfashionable.

                               In fact, the word spinster is becoming unfashionable, but I just love the poetic sound of it, and America's poetic dramatist, Tennessee Williams wrote of such women.  And remember, girls, Blanche Du Bois was NOT a spinster.  She had been married to Allan Grey, whom she psychologically destroyed, driving him to suicide.

                                When spinsterhood was in fashion, it also went in tandem with repressed sexuality.   Today, not so much.  Observe--

                                         Remember the popular card game "Old Maid?"  The character always looked somewhat like Miss Grundy, the high school teacher in the "Archie" comics.  But this game "Bold Made," upgrades the image, eliminating repressed sexuality and lack of fashion sense from the equation.  So, to be a Bold Made is a winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Aa long as you shop correctly, there is nothing to worry about.

                                        And you cannot go wrong with Halston!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When Things Get Rough, Girls, Take A Tip From Bette Davis, And Go Drinking With Your Oscar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Girls, even if you don't have an Oscar to call your own, there are these cheap knockoffs one can buy in gift shops, that say "World's Best...." or something like that.  Simply change the sign to suit one's individual taste, and Voila! one is off and running!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         Darlings, you have GOT to see the 1952 Bette Davis movie "The Star."  This was really her first foray into camp, and foreshadowed "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?"  She plays this once celebrated ingenue (!!!!!!!!!!!) who is on the skids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She was even nominated for Best Actress but lost out to Shirley Booth's stunning performance in "Come Back, Little Sheba."

                                          The drink-with-Oscar scene follows one where she throws her sister and brother-in-law out, because she gave them money when she was riding high, and now they don't get that the gravy train stops here.  Honestly, hons, when Bette opens the door and says, "Get out," there has been nothing like this since the days of Mrs. Fiske, and no, I am not old enough to have seen her on the stage!

                                           But, really, hons, "The Star" is a riot.  I cannot wait to see the complete film.

                                           The Fifties decor makes "My Little Margie" look lavish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Drink and watch this with your Oscar, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Join Us Tonight, As "Svengoolie" Presents For The First Time, The Underrated 1973 Cult Classic, "Ssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                                     

                                                                        

                                             The title alone is camp.  And that is just for starters.

                                          It was the Summer of 1973. I had just graduated from high school and was planning on attending Seton Hall University in the Fall, which I did.

                                             But there was a movie and a scandal that season, which peaked the interest of all of us. 

                                              That movie was "Sssssssssss," in which a mad scientist, played by Strother Martin was trying to turn humans, primarily men, into snakes. His daughter was played by, of all actresses, Heather Menzies, whom all of us knew as Louisa Von Trapp in "The Sound Of Music."   When that film came out, I really wanted to be either Heather or Angela Cartwright.  But Heather, though recognizable, looked different here.  Well, she was eight years older.

                                               Like Patty Duke with "Valley Of The Dolls," Heather had not yet completely embraced "The Sound Of Music" mantle that cloaked her.  Eventually, she would.  But at this time, in addition to "Sssssssssssss," she decided to do something even more adult--she posed nude in "Playboy."  Oh, my God!  It was the talk of the Summer!  One of "The Sound Of Music" girls appearing in Playboy?  But which one?  Debbie Turner, Kym Karath, and Angela Cartwright were too young, so it had to be either Charmian Carr or Heather Menzies.  Sure enough, when I got my hands on the issue, there was Heather!  She looked good, but I was shocked.  And I should have recognized my blossoming gaydar, because while it was Heather, her photos did nothing to arouse me.  I preferred her as Louisa in "The Sound Of Music," and to me she will always be that.

                                                  But "Ssssssssssss" sounds like so much fun.  All those snakes; to be avoided for those with snake phobia, and I have a friend with a real bad case of it.  Anyway, having never seen the film, I hope the creatures do turn on Strother Martin, and you have to see the scene where Heather's boyfriend turns into a snake before her eyes, and I think the final shot is of her screaming!!!!!!!!

                                                Alas, all this, and yet we have to go to a double birthday party tonight.  We will probably see "Sssssssssssss" sometime tomorrow, as I am so excited to see it.

                                                Have a rattling' good time, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Here is Heather's final scream, girls!  I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everything Is NOT Coming Up Roses At "Gypsy!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                      I told you it would be just a matter of time, girls.

                                     Now, here is the scoop, and remember, you heard it first here, darlings.

                                     Audra McDonald will be out of "Gypsy" for three performances--February 22, 23 and 24th.  She will be back on the 25th. The reason is a death in the family, and while I am sure Audra would not lie about that, darlings and while I am sorry, it also happens to be all too convenient in order to give McDonald's voice a rest.

                                        This time, the show has its act together, and the show will go on, those days, with understudy Tryphena Wade performing the role of Rose.  I am telling you, darlings, I am just so curious to see how Tryphena handles things, because I would bet she gives Audra a run for the money.

                                         In fact, I would not be surprised if the "Funny Girl" situation repeats here.  Before you know it, Audra will be taking nights off, with Tryphena going on certain nights, just like Julie Benko did.  I hope this would do for Tryphena what it did for Julie.

                                           So, mark my words, darlings, you heard it first here.  I told you Audra could not cut it, but I never expected a repeat of the "Funny Girl:" situation.

                                             The tragedy is Audra is not talentless and a disgrace, like Beanie Feldstein!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                She has just bitten off more than she can chew and won't admit it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             When I saw this image, I knew it would be perfect for my blog, because the cat in the center looks like my beloved, Nicholas.  So, on behalf of Nicholas, Happy Valentine's Day to all!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Whatever you have planned, girls, make sure it is romantic.  Whether flowers, chocolates, a quiet dinner--which is what David, and I will do--or listening to the Original Broadway Cast of "She Loves Me," which is a perfect vehicle for Valentine's Day.  Don't be a downer, like I was in my younger days and watch "Fatal Attraction."  Or "Looking For Mr. Goodbar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                  Cupids, cherubs and love is what Valentine's Day is about.

                                   Make sure to express to yourselves and others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    Love to all, dolls!  And in remembrance of Nicholas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Now All The Ghosts And Demons From Hell And Your Mind Close In On You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            Oh, my God, darlings, have you ever had days like that?  Or a week?????????

                            Let me tell you this goes way beyond Joan Didion.  And it cannot be cured by Jacqueline Susann!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             I have had spells like these.  When things are closing in on you, who wants to do anything or see anyone?  I am telling you; it is the worst.

                            It is comparable to a migraine.  There is medicine out there, but you still have to get through it, darlings.  

                            Things start out slowly.  Then, before you know it, you end up looking like this--

                                Beware the ghosts and demons from Hell, and your mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today Is A Very Special Day, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                            Yes, dears, it is the 167th Anniversary Of The Apparition Of Our Lady Of Lourdes.  This means the day when Bernadette Soubirous, not Jennifer Jones, girls, saw the first vision of the Blessed Virgin Mary.  And the world has never been the same since.

                                              Times being what they are, dolls, this is a good day to reflect on all that Bernadette and Mary have done for us, and how we need their guidance and strength today.  I am certain Sister Camille D'Arienzo would agree with me.

                                                   Watch the movie, say some prayers, read this post, but in some way acknowledge this special day.  Would you believe the Catholic churches in my area said not one mass specifically in honor of this day?????????????

                                                       What is the world coming to?

                                                         Bernadette and Mary help us.  We need you more than ever!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, We Are Going To Abstain This Week, But If You Have Never Seen It, This Film Is Worth A Look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      When "Svengoolie" first showed this film awhile back, I was so excited, because I had wanted to see this film since I was a child, when it first came out, in 1961.

                                       Now, having seen it, I dread the opening, which appalled me with its cruelty and sadism.  Two things I don't approve of or even want to see enacted.

                                          For those who should see it, I will say that Oliver Reed, in his first starring role, does the werewolf bit superbly.  And his make-up is the best I have ever seen.  Werewolves should have pointy ears; not even Lon Chaney, Jr. who set the gold standard for werewolves, had pointed ears!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         The production values are very good--it is Hammer at its period costume best--so there is a lot for viewers who have never seen this to take in.  For me, darlings, once was definitely enough.

                                             I have no idea what we will be watching tonight, but I will be sure to let you know.  Meantime, for first timers, enjoy "The Curse Of The Werewolf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                              What I REALLY want to see is "Werewolf In A Girls' Dormitory."  It would go so well with "Blood Of Dracula," darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Need To Be Seen More At This Place, In 2025!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                  Darlings, this is where Theater Queens go before and after shows, to bitch at each other, while drinking the most scrumptious concoctions.  I once heard a group of bitches poisoned one another, and died, but what I want to know is.... what were they wearing?  Those tramps!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    I need to claim my own spot and tame all the bitches who come in here to talk about the likes of "Hell's Kitchen," and other crap dominating the Broadway stage.  Do these twinks even know what a fag hag is??????????  Have they ever met one??????????????  Oh, hons, believe me, I will set them straight.

                                     Tramps parade in here at all hours, but what I want to know is where do they go after "Don't Tell Mama" closes?  

                                       Probably to their parents' homes, somewhere in Jersey.

                                        Look for me here, darlings, next time a real bitch is needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               

There Comes A Time, Loves, When We Have To Stop Living Like Our Lives Is "Valley Of The Dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            Like this line, and quote from Neely.  Oh, my God, I used to parade through New York City, --the theaters, the clubs--like I was some big talent.  Neely said she was not ordinary, and by God I sure as hell was not.  Bur, then, Neely never finds love and ends up in the gutter.  Did I want that?  Do any of us?  Of course not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

                             The question of whether or not your boyfriend is straight.  Here, Lyon Burke (Paul Burke) behaves like a genuine Theater Queen.  Straight girls do not date such, darlings.  And look at the questioning stare on Barbara Parkins' face.  Ann should have stuck to her own doubts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                         "But she's talented, Henry! She's REALLY got it!"--Helen finally admits Neely is the big talent she says she is.  I used to wait around for my detractors to get wise, but, as Neely says, "So WHAT?  Who needs them?  The whole world loves me!!!!!!!!!"   Just keep telling yourselves that, and you will make it through.  Maybe without the pills and gutter of Neely.  Just remember, girls, we are all big stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                           Oh, this is my favorite!  "You better run, you little whore!""--Gays of a certain age, not the twinks of today who do not know what Stonewall is, know that this scene was based on when Judy Garland caught hubby Vincente Minnelli in the pool.  Only the little whore was male, but even in 1966 Jackie could not write that.   And Ted's line, "That little whore makes me feel nine feet tall."  Nine what, Ted????????  Oh, we get it, so the censors slipped it in.  In the book, it was "seven feet." Guess they had to prove a point.  The point is, girls, how could Garland marry Minnelli??????????  I mean, he was nothing to look at!  And girls, this is not what you want from marriage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            Yes, it IS fun to say the lines and act things out, especially at parties.  Campy as it is and always will be, who knew "Valley Of The Dolls" was a cautionary tale as well?

                              Oh, and how about when Neely says, "So?  I'll do the second act first!"

                             Make sure, girls, you live your lives in sequential order!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!