Girls, These Are The Real "Spinster City" Apartments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          I have seen entries on the Internet referring to this month as Spinster September, and I cannot figure why!   Are spinsters supposed to get their due?  Are they now being honored?  During my 24 years of spinsterhood, from 31 to 55 (one is not designated a spinster till one reaches the age of 31) I did not feel especially honored, but I got around, to compensate for my being alone Now I have experiences to look back on and write about.

                              The building here in question is The Ansonia Apartments, at 501, Raritan Avenues, in Highland Park, New Jersey, my hometown.  The entrance is actually on Fifth Avenue in a secluded corner with beet red walls suggesting something mysterious.  The lobby is a tiny spinster lobby, and I had always thought I would end up in one of the front windows, hopefully on the third or fourth floors, looking out on the town.  

                                  Can you imagine, darlings?  This is how I had scripted my life!  The bus stop just across the street would take me to New Brunswick, from which I would take the bus to New York!   If things had turned out this way, I might have been in a mental hospital repeatedly reading "The Bell Jar," by Sylvia Plath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                       Instead, the apartments David and I are in now are hardly spinsterish.  And New York is only a subway ride away.

                                          Sometimes a change in script can make a difference!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Darlings, Please Do Me A Favor And Save Yourselves The Time And Money Involved In Seeing This Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                         I cannot say "Paranormal Activity" was my worst theater experience, but it certainly ranks among the top ten.  I was expecting, hopefully, something imaginative and mildly entertaining.  At worst, I thought it would be like a cheesy amusement park spook house ride.   Well, I am telling you right now, those rides are better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                          Back in 2007, still riding on the found/filmed footage genre generated by "The Blair Witch Project" back in 1999, someone had the idea of making a film called "Paranormal Activity."  It involved people living in a house and filming the mysterious things happening when they don't see them. All I can recall are doors opening by themselves and things moving mysteriously.  That is how much of an impression the film made on me.  The show in question made even less.

                                           First of all, Chris Fisher and Abby May, who designed the illusions and lighting, had no idea what they were doing.  When entering the August Wilson Theatre to take my seat, the lighting was so dim, I could not read my Playbill.  Occasionally, the title, inscribed on a black floor length stage curtain in front of me would blink the titular words at the audience.  Oh, boy, this is supposed to give us some big scare thrill?????????????  Whom are they kidding???????????????

                                              I really cannot fully blame Felix Barrett for his direction, because Levi Holloway's script is not much to work with.  The two leads, whom I will get to, used so many f-words and other profanities that even David Mamet would blush!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                              Now, these actors, Cher Alvarez and Travis A. Knight.  They are making their Broadway debuts, and I say enjoy it while it lasts.  Because with this script, neither will get a second chance, nor will their careers go anywhere.  They play a married couple, with the wife having some kind of anxiety and he trying to pacify her.  Or is this really the case?  Because, in Act Two, we get two people who have done misdeeds in their pasts and were never held accountable for them.  Is this what is happening now?  Does anybody care?  I did not. Shannon Cochran as the mother livens things up, but Linda Lavin would have done it better.  Except Linda would have turned this script down.  And so would I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Alvarez speaks with a pretentious accent, suggesting a desperate Juilliard auditionee.  Knight may be nice to look at, but his hetero posturing is unbearable   And can any of them read a line?  I am telling you, producers could pull anyone from the street nightly to perform and would still get better results!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  There are supposedly 40 special effects in the show.  With the dim lighting, I was barely able to see four of them; never mind the other 36.  At an hour and forty five minutes this play belongs in the slush pile.  It is a wonder how it got to Broadway.  There is much more untapped, genuine talent out there.

                                                     Save for David and I, the audience ate it up!  And the house was packed; maybe even sold out.  Have we finally arrived at the dumbing down of Broadway?  Are new audiences being sought to replace the old, those of us who go to the theater for something of entertainment and substance?  Because if so, that audience will soon disappear, and like me, stay home with their Criterion Collections!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                           This is as poor a start to the theater season as one can imagine!  But who am I to talk?  The show will probably run indefintely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                              Bur for those who REALLY care about theater, run for the hills, and avoid this trash altogether!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Make Sure To Watch "Svengoolie" Tonight At 8PM, Because This Is The Last Good Film He Is Showing This Month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                     I am not a spoiler, but, really, darlings, next week he is showing one of the worst movies ever, "The Ghost And Mr. Chicken," with Don Knotts, which some demographic out there loves, but it certainly is not this house.   Then, the following week, The Sven Squad is going to host--are you ready? --a presentation of the 1990 color remake of "Night Of The Living Dead!"  I mean, why????????? The black and white Romero 1968 film is a masterpiece.  Who had the nerve to remake it?  I do not even recall it.

                                       Baby Gojira and I have been talking, and we agreed that for these weeks David can pick the alternate movie.  But it will come with some caveats, which will be revealed on here next week!!!!!!!!!!

                                            So enjoy "Svengoolie" tonight, while you can.  Because after that he is scraping the bottom of the barrel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               If he keeps this up, he may not lose his audience, but he will lose us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy "Frank Mills" Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           This is it, darlings, the day I go to the Waverly, stand in front and sing "Frank Mills" to one and all on this day.

                                            Also, a tribute to the legendary Shelley Plimpton, who introduced the song in both the original Off-Broadway and Broadway productions of "HAIR."

                                           Get ready, girls, I'm on my way!  Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           But not before leaving you with a special gift to enjoy.

                         

                                    Here is Shelley inimitable rendition!  Cherish it, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There Is No Way To Prettify This Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      I cannot believe it has been twenty-five years.  A quarter of a century.

                                    Like the headline says, this is a sad day, which is why I chose the photo above.

                                   This will always be a benchmark day in my life.  I remember exactly where I was, where I had been living, the circumstances that landed me in the West Village just in time to see the second tower collapse before my eyes, which is when I realized this city was in big trouble.

                                      I still fear another attack.  Not in NYC, but perhaps elsewhere.

                                      People talk about resilience.  But how does one get over this?  I was lucky not to have lost any friends or loved ones, but I think of those who did, and I cannot imagine how awful this day is, and what it brings up.

                                        They, along with the firefighters, policemen, volunteers, and those suffering subsequent 9/11 illnesses are the ones whose resilience we should be saluting.

                                           However, we have gone twenty-five years without another incident.

                                           May that continue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                           Never forget, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's Take A Wild Ride On "Mulholland Drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                                                                  

                              No matter how many times one sees David Lynch's 2001 "Mulholland Drive," the ride never stops being wild.  This has to be my fourth viewing, and it just left me stunned in a highly positive way.

                               Now, darlings, this post is going to be very different.  I am just going to muse on some of the impressions I got from my recent viewing the other day.  If you want a cohesive analysis of the film, turn to my August 8, 2019 post, where I give just that.  Meaning I have not seen "Mulholland Drive" in seven years.  That is too long to go without.

                                If "The Wizard Of Oz" taught Dorothy "There is no place like home," "Mulholland Drive" teaches one never to leave it in the first place.  The film, with elements of  'Oz' and Ingmar Bergman, charts the downward trajectory of Naomi Watts' characters from hopeful aspirant to street whore.

                               Naomi's look, above, recalls Judy Garland walking out of her house into Munchkinland.  Dan Hedaya, as Vincent Castigliano staring through the glass partition at Michael J. Anderson as Mr. Rocque in his wheelchair, recalls the Metro quartet, awaiting Oz.  Of course, fire and smoke, recalling both 'Oz' and trademarks of David Lynch, are present throughout the film.

                               But girls who wouldn't want to dwell at 1612 Havenhurst Drive, with Coco as a landlord?  Coco is played by Ann Miller!  ANN Miller!  ANN MILLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And the witch like Lee Grant as Louise Bonner1!!!!!!!!!!  Is she a witch or not?  At this apartment complex anything is possible.

                               I still cite "Blue Velvet" as David Lynch's masterpiece, but this film marks the culmination of that film and beyond, what with the duality of women, another wild road ride, and odd people and places.  I cannot argue with those who see this as the ultimate Lynch, and I confess after this viewing I may have to include it in my Criterion Collection.

                                 Laura Harring is especially good as Watt's doppelganger, and I just loved Chad Everett as the sleazy has been.

                             Even wild rides come to an end, and this one ends at the Club Silencio, which is where I want to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                               Come on, girls!  Let's fly to the West Coast and take that wild ride on Mulholland Drive.

                                 I dare to say it could be the most iconic Hollywood film since "Sunset Boulevard."

                                  Those who don't travel, I urge you to see this film!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   It will transport viewer to a world they won't think about leaving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, There Is A New Meeting Place In Town--Until October 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                    

 

                                                                                  

                            Yesterday, David, our erudite friend Chris, and I went to the Tarot Exhibition at The Morgan.  Chris is especially adept at Tarot reading, and I have always wanted to learn but at this age that is too much information to absorb.  Nevertheless, I have always loved the artwork of Tarot--I am talking about the traditional Tarot, and not the commercialized ones manufactured today.  A Charles Dickens Tarot?  Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Now, The Morgan is located on Madison Avenue, off of East36th Street.  For girls out there, and especially those who are single, this is a place to meet men!  I am telling you, I saw so many distinguished and attractive looking men, who, were I not married, might have been enough to take my eyes off the exhibit.  Fortunately, they didn't.  But for girls on the make, especially if you are looking for someone to settle down wit, should seek this place out.  There is even a space for having lunch, which I consider very Joan Fontatine--one expects her to come out, offering slices of Arnold Brick  Oven Bread.

                               Darlings, I am telling you, The Morgan Tarot Exhibit is currently the hottest place in town.   I urge you to visit, whether seeking male companionship or not.

                                 Those having trouble, listen to me.  When sitting at a lunch table, remember to daintily drop your napkin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    It works almost every time, dolls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!