Hope Your Month Was Not Like This, Darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

                                   It really was not for us, but there was one weak and week spot.  I had run out of Gabapentin, and my PCP was on vacation, and after several days I started feeling loopy.  I mean, I could have collapsed like Barbara Jean in "Nashville."  Luckily, I did not.

                                      But after being off this med for several days, I started not feeling right.  I was having equilibrium problems; I had moments of dizziness and lightheadedness.  Most of all, I felt depressed lost concentration.  I did not go near a book for three days, and I am currently plowing my way through "Lonesome Dove," which is enthralling when I can get to it.

                                         I am back on the med and feeling better each day.  But I still feel a little tired; maybe allergies or the weather.  Maybe I will discuss it with my doctors.

                                           In any case, dears, do not make the mistake I did.

                                           Stay on top of your meds.  Or you could end up looking like THIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, I Am SO Excited, And I Have A Full Day Tomorrow, So I Am Posting Saturday Morning's Post Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We Are All So Excited As "Svengoolie" Presents One Of Our Favorites--1958's "Earth Vs. The Spider!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                 Everyone loves "Earth Vs. The Spider."  Where Carol's dad gets killed right off at the beginning, and she keeps losing her birthday gift from him in the spider's cave?????????

                                   And how about when the seemingly dead, but only knocked out spider, is put on display, with no enclosure of any kind, in the high school gym?  The band starts performing and the spider jives to that crazy rock beat!!!!!!!!!!!!  If you have never seen it before, darlings, you simply must.!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                        Don't forget the scene where the woman gets her dress stuck in her car, and the spider bears down on her.  This footage was used in a TV ad a while back.

                               See how excited we all are, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We just cannot contain ourselves!

                                Be here tomorrow at 8PM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two Perfect Wedding Gowns For The Right Type Of Girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

                                                                                    

                                     Spring and Summer are ideal seasons for weddings.  My, I am giving a lot of fashion advice this time around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  For those who need help with wedding planning, I have two excellent choices.

                                         The first, which is white, so it absolutely for virgins ONLY, is the wedding gown Julie Andrews wore in "The Sound Of Music."  Of course, Julie was a virgin when she wore it! It has a lovely veil and train, and when one walks down the aisle, the whole thing flows!!!!!!!!  For virgins, or maybe even those who pretend to be, or want to just pretend for that day, this is the dress to go for.

                                              Now, the other dress is definitely NOT for virgins, and its color I am partial to.  This is the red wedding gown Blanche Hollingsworth (the great Rue McClanahan) wore on her wedding day to George Deaveraux.  I personally would go with Blanche's gown; at my age, who the hell am I kidding???????  I bet even this outfit would catch Pope Leo's eye. and Archbishop Ronald Hicks.

                                                  No matter what you choose, darlings, one cannot go wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                  Just be sure the right spouse is in tow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Quincy, The Dog, Is The Unsung Hero Of "Fatal Attraction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                            This has been a strange week for me, darlings, having to wait till my PCP returned from his vacation on Wednesday to get a refill on my Gabapentin, so I am still feeling a wave of side effects from loopiness, tiredness and depression.

                             So, what do I watch?  "Fatal Attraction."  Not having seen it for a while, I can say this is the movie to watch if you are in a bad spot emotionally.  Maybe not as bad as Alex Forrest, because no matter how well made it is, the film is still full of enough holes to make it into Swiss cheese.

                               You all know the story, girls.  Suburban schmuck Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) has a weekend fling with Manhattan careerist Alex Forrest (Glenn Close), and boy, hons, is he in for it, for he has made the WRONG choice.

                                Though this is the best looking on film I have ever seen Glenn Close, Anne Archer makes her look like a second helping.  Dan is too easily tempted.  His first mistake.

                                    The trouble with the film is that it wants things both ways.  It wants to lay the blame on them both, when it is really Dan's blame for the whole thing.  Sure, she held out the bait, but did he have to bite????????????  And once she boiled the rabbit, that was when most of us turned on her, because that poor unfortunate child has nothing to do with what is going on, and she will need years, if not more, of therapy to get over this.

                                        How did Alex get into the house to boil the rabbit and then attack Beth?

                                        How was seemingly resourceful childlike Ellen suddenly willing to get into a strange looking woman's car, and nonchalantly take a trip to Rye Playland?????????????

                                           Thank God for Quincy.  The beautiful gold lab is the first one to know water is coming through the upstairs ceiling, forcing to Dan to run upstairs.  But it is Beth who has the balls to do away with Alex.  Don is a dumb schmuck.

                                             So much of this film is well made--how about Jane Krakowski as the babysitter in the opening????????--that the holes are just impossible to fill.  Still as many times as I have been entertained by all this, I only realized now Quincy is the story's real hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                               Hooray for Quincy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                    And, girls, for your own good never EVER wear this dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      

Darlings, If You Want To Be A Queen, You Have GOT To See "The Wasp Woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

                                  Girls, this is the 1959 Roger Corman classic with Susan Cabot, in her final, signature performance, before she beat her son to death.

                                    Long before Lauren Weisberger and "The Devil Wears Prada," this was the beauty horror show of its time.  Janice Starlin, owner of Starlin Beauty Enterprises, and aging faster than she would like, hires a mad scientist to extract enzymes from the queen wasp to make women young.  Now, this insect is a real, castrating bitch, eating her mates and everyone she can get her teeth and claws on.

                                      Janice makes the mistake of testing the serum on herself and wait till you see what she turns into.

                             Catch that phony wasp mask and claws.  She turns on all the men, and the women she is jealous of at the company, like her personal secretary, Mary, on whom I think she nurses repressed lesbian fantasies.  The one she should watch out for is nail filer and gum chewer Maureen, who, while answering the phone professionally is iconic enough to point out that "Doctor Cyclops" is on Channel 9 that night, and that she has seen it twice.  This is a career girl who will go places fast.

 

                          Honestly, dolls, the only way this movie could have been better was for it to replicate the poster and have a gigantic queen wasp with a woman's face killing people in NYC.  But this was a Roger Corman film, so the budget had to be cheap.  It is such a hoot the way it is.

                             Good thing neither Corman or Willian Castle got their hands on "Rosemary's Baby."

                           Minnie Castevet would have ended up being the mother of Satan's son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls, Ain't It The Truth???????? Our Beauty Makes Everyone Jealous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Believe me, darlings, I am sure many of us can relate to this scene from John Waters' 1974 film "Female Trouble."  Jealousy makes people do nasty things.  And for the most absurd reasons.

                          So much of "Female Trouble" reminds me of my adolescence but in a funny way.  Though my Christmases were never like Dawn Davenport's.  I never asked for Cha-Cha-Heels.  The most unusual thing I requested was when I was in my single digits and asked for a drum set for Christmas.  Needless to say, my parents already had a grasp on what they were dealing with, and I did not get it.  I remember, because on Christmas morning, I used to take inventory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Still in childhood "A Christmas Carol" made me turn to Dickens while at age 13 I discovered "The Song Of Bernadette."  And the rest is history!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Let this mantra of Dawn and her friends be a mantra for all you girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                             Should someone put you down, just tell yourselves the above!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Reason This Date Will Never Be Forgotten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                   It is unfortunate that Memorial Day fell on this day, but that is just the way the calendar falls.   Today is usually designated as National Missing Children's Day, because 47 years ago, just weeks after my mother's death, the disappearance of Etan Patz in SoHo set the gold standard for future missing child cases.

                                     The story went national fast, with Etan being the most renowned poster child on a milk carton; he started this movement to try and locate missing children.

                                       He would have been 53 today.  But left us all too soon.

                                       The person considered responsible, Pedro Hernandez, remains in custody.  May he do so the rest of his life.

                                        I was already an adult when Etan vanished, but I remembered it as a transitory period in which adults and children alike looked differently upon childhood.

                                        Rest In Peace, Etan.  You are not forgotten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!