Darlings, A Good Time Was Had By All.........

.....at last night's Chelsea Classics screening of "What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?" with Hedda Lettuce hosting.

Girls, let me tell you this movie is in MY bloodstream--has been ever since it came out in 1962. Back then , at age 7, my father took me to a reissue of Disney's "Lady and the Tramp." I always wanted to stay and see the coming attractions--how else to glimpse adult fare then?--and 'Baby Jane' was playing the following week. The trailer, showing Better kicking Joan across the room and then standing menacing in the swinging doorway while a terrified Blanche looked over her shoulders, then went to torture, made an impression on ME. That evening, my parents went out, and though my grandmother was downstairs, taking care of me, I would not go to sleep because I was SO convinced that Bette Davis as Baby Jane was going to come through the door.

And the story, girls! It starts out in 1917, I yes, I am the DARLING of the vaudeville stage, and my litttle bitch sister Blanche has to accept her secondary status. Then that bitch turns out to manufacture crap that outdoes mine, makes me guilty over something SHE did, and brings it all on herself!!!!! I was the WRONBED ONE, darlings! I! I! I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In real life, this is a mantra for how I live in bitterness and resentment over the past. "I won't forget. You BET I won't forget!" Contrast this childhood that I wanted with one I HAD--having to bow to suburban bitches, and nursing resentments still to a constellation of them, including--
Mrs. Edith Compton
Mrs. Esther Cohen
Mrs. Mary Beinhower
Mrs. Ruth Bergen
Mrs. Norma Brodsky
Mrs. Elsie Behmer
Mrs. Raisle Feldman (7th Grade English)
Mrs. Susan Sher (7th Grade Math)
Mrs. Alice C. Santamraina (HS French)
Mrs. Gloria Shapiro-Schwartz (street bitch)
..........to name just a few!!!!!!!!! I have not forgotten or forgiven what they have done to me, and 'Baby Jane' fuels my rage for fame and vindication which they failed to give ME!!!! It is all about ME, darlings! ME! ME! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now my resentment is so manifest towards Grotesque Creature that if I have to bear any time in its presence next week I will lash out!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, darlings, you can see what a treat it was to see "What Ever Happeend To Baby Jane?" Maybe you had better avoid me for the next couple of days. Just give me a few, and then I am sure I will be back to being as sweet and pure as Amy Adams.

But meanwhile--

"I WON'T FORGET. YOU BET I WON'T FORGET!"