Friday, March 26, 2010

Girls, You Have NO Idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just when you think you have heard everything, darlings, just when I reach a point where I actually think "What am I going to write about tomorrow," something gets handed to one on a silver platter.

Last night, dears, I dined at my friend Audrey's. Now, I will have you know Audrey has been to Babbo's, so she must have a better personal assistant than I. Not only that, she has been there with her stunning and brilliant sister Erica, who is none other than the Jewish Blythe Danner. That is Blythe, and NOT Gwyneth, because as we know that Gwyneth cannot hold a candle to looks or talent when it comes to her mother.

So, anyway, Audrey and I were dining, the wine flowed....at least down my parched throat, girls, when I find out the News of the Week--Audrey is preganat!!!!!!

Girls, I am telling you, this is SO exciting. I have to start scouting private schools and campaigning to get this mentioned in "W." And, believe me, before I am through, it will be. So stay tuned, dolls, because we shall chronicle the coming of this child, which is to arrive sometime in August. And, of course, you know, darlings, I will have this baby right along with Audrey. I will probably have to be wheeled screaming on a gurney next to her in the delviery room!!!!!!

But before that happens, darlings, I will need a Bloody Mary by day's end, especially if I cannot get a table at Babbo. And today at work marks the end of an era and even more crucial the Departure of Glamour. For we say a fond farewell to those two social doyennes, Janice and Annette. Their hearts are young and gay! From now on they will be free to dine at the Four Seasons, fly to Aruba on a whim, and go transcontinental designer shopping whenever they so desire. See how tempting retirment is, darlings!! Alas, for here it will mean the Departure of Glamour. Not only that, but I am expected to carry on that tradition. Well, at least I know my designers, girls.

Speaking of which, whatever Audrey's child is--male or female--that child si going to get a gift subscription to VOGUE, and is going to know instantly the difference between Louis Vuitton and Berkin!!!!!!!!!

Make sure YOU know the differnce, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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