Darlings, Let's Talk About The Sexism Of Some Of Those "Wheaties" Commercials!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, girls, I have known and loved Wheaties since I was knee high, which was quite a while, darlings, even though I am only 24!!!!! And over those years I have seen hundreds of commercials on TV for this product, but before we get to that, I have a question to ask. Why is Wheaties always referred to as the "Breakfast Of Champions?" And with sports figures on the cover!!!!!! Such blatant sexism!!!! Why isn't it called the "Breakfast Of Artists," with the likes of Bernstein, Baryshnikov, Donna McKechnie, even Paul Lynde, on the cover??? Huh, sugar????????? Of all the TV ads for this cereal back in the 60s, none was more offensive than what I came to call the "He knows he's a Man!" commercial. It followed a father and son on the rapids in a raft of some kind. A narrator pipes in, "There comes a time in a young boy's life....when he knows he's a Man." There is music underscored, the father hands the boy the oar, says, "OK, son!", the kid takes control, and this over the top macho voice--but not campy--starts singing "He knows he's a Man.....He's ready for Wheaties, he knows he's a man!!!!" I mean, come on!!!!!!!!! While the scene alone has nothing intrinsically wrong with it, the implication that this is the ONLY FORM OF AMERICAN MANHOOD is sexist, offensive, and idiiotic. I think it is time the Wheaties advertisers addressed other notions of when a boy becomes a man, such as-- The first time he shoots his own load of cum!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first time he listens to the Ethel Merman cast recording of "Gypsy!!!!" The first time he reads "Valley Of The Dolls!!!!!!!!!" The first time he sees the movie version!!!!!!!!!!!!! The firsr time he sees the 1956 film, "The Bad Seed"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first time he watches an all-male video or DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first time he sees a Broadway show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first time he steps up to the dance barre!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first time he understands the definition of Fag Hag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first time he watches "King Kong" with a sexual eye towards Kong!!!!!!!! Darling, these are some important and defining moments for some young men, too! And they should be addressed and given equal time!!!!! I would be happy to personally produce any one of thsese, girls, and be proud of the results!!!!!!!!! Manhood is not just for the fuckin' Teamsters, bitch!!!! Just check Jacqueline Susann. Bet those Teamsters checked out Jackie more than we knew!!! So the next time you enjoy bowl of Wheaties, sweeties, remember there is diversity in manhood!!!!! Fuck, yeah, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!