Darlings, let me tell you, for a REAL bitchfest, you have got to see, when you can, last night's "Law And Order SVU" episode, entitled "Bully." It was made clear from the trailer shown as early as last week that guest star Kate Burton was going to play sonme kind of Boss Bitch From Hell, but who would have thought there would have been a whole galaxy of them????? You know the book mentioned in "Rosemary's Baby" called "All Of Them Witches"? Well, this could have been entitled "All Of Them Bitches." Or even "Deal With The Devil."
But I am getting ahead of myself, loves. The episode began in an art gallery, where this smarmy artist named Andreas and his patron/ socialite/model/escort/whore (played by real life New York slut Countess Luann De Lesseps, of "New York Housewives") discover that a painting is NOT a painting--a white canvass with red strings is actually dripping blood, seeping down from the apartment above. The victim turns out to be Ellen Savelin (played only in a video by an actress excellent at conveying both company loyalty and victimization. The last was truly terrifying, and you felt for her.), the business partner of one Annette Cole (Kate Burton) who runs a small but profitable wine company called--how cute!--Luscious Grapes. But let me tell you, these vineyards are withered, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Before this discovery can be made, a few red herrings get thrown our way. One is a thug named Juan Alvarez, who harasses people for money, at the command of an exec for a company called Leather Fantasy. No S and M, lambs--purses!!!!! Why can't real life company magnates be this creative at organization names?????
Just as Stabler has collared Alvarez, and is hauling him away, an elderly man walks up to them with a gun, and shoots him point blank, saying "You killed my wife!
You killed my Peggy!" It seems Peggy, an early Alzheimer's patient, was pushed to the brink, and died, as a result of stress from Alvarez. So one cannot be too sorry the guy shot this scum.
Meanwhile, girls, things are heating up at Ellen's apartment. Her body has been removed, and the wonderful ME Warner (played by the equally wonderful Miss Tamara Tunie) rules her cause of death, which looked enough like a homicide, what with all the blood, to be undetermined. At the same time, Benson and Stabler are getting suspicious--everyone in Ellen's company, Luscious Grapes, just talks the talk a little too glibly--as if, Benson says, "like they are being told what to say." Before things can involve Dr. Huang (adorable B.D.Wong, looking SO cute in his business suits, darlings; wouldn't you just love to have HIM deliver your Lo Mein???) someone violates the crime scene rope, and breaks into Ellen's apartment. Clearly they are after something, and hot, hunky Elliot (the hot, hunky Chris Meloni, girls!!!!!!) discovers what it is---a flash drive, hidden inside a stuffed panda!!!!!!!!!
The flash drive reveals what we have seen in the trailer. It is filmed footage of Annette bullying her workers. She screams and curses. "Wipe that smirk off your face!" she tells one guy, throwing papers, furiously down upon his desk. Bruce, whom it is pointed out early on in the story to be gay, is called "a fruit" by her!!!!!!!
Honey, I cannot recall the last time I heard that expression with regard to male homosexuality!!!!!!!!! You would have to go back to the 1950's. The most harrowing scene is the one where she is victimizing Ellen, whom up to now has been portrayed, both in person and on film, as her "best friend," the "brains of the company," and the one who started it with her. "You are the worst of all!" Annette screams at her, right in her face. "I have carried you on the books, Ellen, all these years," taking all the credit for herself, which is exactly what these types do. But now here comes one of this episodes's several classic moments. After the clearly cowed woman begs her to lower her voice, the bitch slaps her hard across the face, screaming, "I just found three typos!!!!!" Fuck you, lady!!!!!!!! Get someone else to do your work!!!!!!!!!!!
Let me say, darlings, that if ANYONE EVER acted towards me this way, I would not only rap them in the teeth, I would bring a lawsuit down upon them. So, with the truth out, it is a hop, skip and jump until Annette is locked in the interrogarion room with Benson and Stabler, both of whom I had wished had rapped her right in the teeth!!!!!!!!! Of course she denies everything--"I push thenm as hard as I do myself," "I did not kill Ellen," "I can do what I want!" One of these statements actually does turn out to be true, as you shall find out.
It looks like a no-brainer. Ellen is a workplace, rageaholic bully, whom even Angelo, her favorite restaurant waiter, says he saw throw a coffee cup--a coffe cup, can you believe this????--at Ellen. She is looking REAL good as a suspect.
However, the other minions--Bruce, the sycophantic homosexual, Corrinne, the Yuppie bitch, Justin, the high powered stud salesman with a secret, and David, the lush capitalist financial cover upper, all back her up!!!!!!!! Can you imagine?????
Who the Hell would take such crap!!!!!!!!! And why??????? Even Benson and Stabler are stumped.
Girls, get ready, because her comes Classic Moment #2!!!!! Ellen, smart girl, saw, befor her death, that these tapes made their way to a TV station, where they are aired, and before you know it, are all over the Internet. A Twitter page lists Annette as "Worst Boss Evah!!!!!!" Don't you just love it, darlings?????
So Annette decides to hold a press conference to rectify things. But what a conference. Starting out by feigning contriton, she escalates to a boililng rage in which she fires her workers, berates those who have ordered from her, and calls the NYPD scum, whereupon she pulls a gun out of nowhere and blows her brains out in front of everyone. "You made me do this!" she says to everyone, in a moment so shocking if I had not known about it in advance, I would not have seen it coming. I was so happy when this shit blew her brains out, I laughed!!!! Hah!!!!! She got her comeuppance, all right, even if she did pull the trigger herself. And with the colleagues out of work, Ellen, even in death, gets the last laugh--she bought the entire company DOWN!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But wait--there is more to come!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shortly after this, someone tries to run homosexual Bruce down with a car. The driver cannot be seen, but the license plates can, and they find an old man, who turns out to be the grandfather of.....Yuppie bitch Corinne. Seems, he says, she borrowed the car, but banged it up, somehow. Uh huh. So Elliot and Olivia bring in Corinne, with we the viewer hoping to see her get banged up, too!!!!!! She's a little miniature Annette. Unbeknownst to her, Bruce has been brought in--and hears Corinne spill the beans. They were all bullied, but kept quiet because a big buyout was coming and they wanted to be rich. Annette had been buying them off, with cash bonuses, cars, and fancy homes. But it was starting to get to Ellen--no surprise, as she was the most human and humane of them all-- and Corrinne found out about the tapes, which Ellen was going to reveal. She told the others, and they engaged in a conspiracy to keep Ellen quiet. So, yes, ironically, when Annette, for all her bitchery, said she did NOT kill Ellen, she was actually telling the truth. The truth was, as Olivia said, "You all killed her with your greed!" and for such I hope all are locked behind bars!!!!! Especially sycophantic Bruce, who is a disgrace to homosexuals, and Yuppie bitch Corrinne!!!!!! However, the one who actually did the deed was Salesman Justin, who pretended to feign interest in the plain, spinsterish Ellen, but she saw through him. He pushed her, she is knocked unconscious, but in an unusual twist (and boy, is that word literal) he finishes her off. So Justin is the killer, David broke in to try and find the flash drive, but as far as I am concerned, they all should do jail time.
The best is saved for last, dolls!!!!! Stabler and Benson rush to Justin's place, whom it has been established is caring for an ailing mother, who is/was a former opera singer. Every so often we have heard the line, "Justin--Mother wants her juice!" coming from upstairs. What is found out in those final moments is that Justin is a mother domianted perv. His mother is an alcoholic, but still needs to sing, so, to preserve her voice, she ingests the liquor through....her rectum!!!!!!!!! I am not kidding, loves!!!!!!!!! And Justin does this by, basically, sodomizing her with a bottle!!!!!!!!!! He learned this trick from his alkie mother--"She taught me a lot," he says chillingly, before being hauled off, indicating he really gets off on servicing Mother this way. Which, it turns out, is how he killed Ellen!!!!!!!!! The last image is the deserted apartment, and the line,
"Mother wants her juice!!!!!!!!!"
What a hoot and a half, darlings!!!!!! You are going to have to go a LONG way to top this sickness!!!!!!! And Mother's voice, by the way, belonged to opera star Renee Flemming, who I think should get a special Emmy--"Best Guest Apprearance By Voice," and the writer, who came up with that classic line, should get one, too!!!!!!!!
Girls, we thought we were getting ONE bitch, we got EVERYONE!!!!!!!!! So when you report for work today, dears, keep your eyes and wits about you, because you have no idea what bitches lurk beneath placid surfaces. Like me, darlings!!!!!!!
Ellen was, of course, described as being the perfect victime, because she did not fight back. That may have been me at one time, but no more!!!! I would have creamed them all, and lived to get satisfaction doing it. Too bad Ellen did not go through the Highland Park, New Jersey public school system, which is how I learned to survive by fighting back!!!!!!!!!!
I have to hand it to SVU for one of its best episodes EVER! You cannot miss this one!!! Kate Burton has the tinme of her life as Annette, and anyone can relate with hatred to her behavior!!!!!!!! But the utter despicablility of the other workers was just as bad. Too bad Annette did not blow their brains out, too!!!!!!!!!!!
"What do you get when you cross a sociopath with a narcissist?" "A ticking time bomb," cute B.D. Wong replies. What fun it was to see all these bombs implode on one another!!!!!!!!!!!
My brains, loves, are not for sale, or to be blown!!!!!!!! They are intact, honey, just like my purity!!!!! Make sure you stay the same!!!!!!!!!
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