Another Career On The Rocks Tries To Be Saved!!!!!!!!!

"Look, they drummed you outta Hollywood, so you come crawlin' back to Broadway!"
--Helen Lawson in "Valley Of The Dolls"

It just keeps getting better, darlings! No sooner do we learn the preposterous notion of turning "Rebecca" into a Broadway musical, does the news come that washed up star and Oscar winner, not to mention wife beater, Nicolas Cage is Broadway bound. He is expected next season--either Fall 2011 or Spring 2012--to undertake the role of--get this!!!!!!--Randle Patrick McMurphy in a revival of "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest!!!!!"

What, again? We just had a production of this ten years ago, with a wonderful job by Gary Sinese, and Amy Morton, from Steppenwolf, who went on to play embrittered oldest daughter Barbara in "August: Osage County." Maybe my only being to tolerate Cage in "Moonstruck" could work for me playing opposite him as Nurse Ratched, so I could kick his butt clear across the stage, to whoops of audience applause!!!!! Though I daresay, with me in the role, the play could have an altogether different ending>

But seriously, girls, just like Barbra doing "Gypsy," I hope this one does not come off. Cage not only is not right for this role; he is TOO OLD for it!!!!!!!
Several years back, Christian Slater, a better actor than Cage, scored a big success in London with this role. How come he did not come to New York???? Bring him in now!!!!! Jake Gyllenhaal not only is the right age; he would be the most delicious McMurphy you ever saw!!!!!!! Like a Hostess cupcake!!!!!! Hell, I would even rather see Daniel Radcliffe do it than Cage. One wonders what the supporting cast might be like; I mean, who will play Ratched??? Valerie Bertinelli??????? Vicotria Principal???? Heather Locklear????? At least, they would be interesting.

I can just see it coming. Lindsay Lohan as Juliet. Or Abagail in "The Curcilbe." Go ahead; crucify these great plays!!!!!! Can Paris Hilton in "Mamma Mia" be far behind????????

Poor Nicolas Cage. And poor Broadway. What was once a standard for excellence has become a tourist trap and mecca for failed actors to resurrect bankrupt careers!!!!!!!!!!!

May the ghost of Ethel Merman kick some ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!