......I am telling you, there, really isn't.
But, after writing about Bitch Of The Week, Korey, yesterday, it got me thinking. There were a whole slew of B movies in the 50s where women were nasty creatures. I am not just talking about "Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman," with Alison Hayes, which is in a class by itself. I am talking about things like "Daughter Of Dr. Jekyll" (with Gloria Talbot, who seemed to do a lot of these, breaking out only once to do an A-list role as Jane Wyman's bratty daughter in "All That Heaven Allows." Though never so bratty as Veda!!!!!), or "The Wasp Woman," with Susan Cabot, which is quite a hoot!
And then there is MY favorite, darlings, "The Leech Woman!"
When I was writing yesterday's Bitch Of The Week Column, I was thinking ahead to really bad movies, and I thought of that one, thinking maybe June (Colleen Gray) from that film would make a good contender. Instead, it showed me how long it has been since I have seen the film, for June in "The Leech Woman" is not a bitch, she is a tragic figure, and this film has some psychological underpinnings that place it above the trash it actually is. But it is still lots of fun, to watch!!!!!!!!
However, after carefully investigating this film, I have to wonder if maybe Edward Albee was inspired here to write "Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?" For the heart of its plot mechanisms stems from a troubled marriage.
The unhappy couple is Paul and June Talbot. Paul is a sleazy, opportunistic endocrinologist (can you believe this, already???) and his sleaziness and neglect have driven wife June to premature aging and big time alcoholism. Unlike Martha, in Albee's play, she has no spine. Or so it seems, at first!!!!!!
But, darlings, I am telling you, you have to see the opening scene and sequences for Estelle Hemsley's performance as Old Malla. When the wrinkled and shrouded crone, complete with cane, saunters down the hall and the doctor's office, in the opening shot, she recalls the days of the great Blanche Yurka. And when she becomes so imperial, even as Granny, in the darkest jungle--honey, this is a Granny NOT to be reckoned with. Malla has come to see Dr. Talbot, because she knows (though how, from the far reaches of the jungle; I mean, it is not like he is an internationally known, Nobel Prize-winning endocrinologist) he has been working on anti-aging experiments, and her tribe has the secret to Eternal Youth, which she offers to let him see, if he will travel to her native village. Of course, the sleazeball says yes!!!!!!!!
And he brings wife, June along for the ride. After their scene in his office, where she wears her box hat and veil, complete with fur wrap, looking like a middle aged harridan, and drinking like a fish, dripping bitterness as though she were Mary Poppins out for a stroll, hubby Paul plays up to her, suggesting a romantic reconciliation, which turns out to be bogus; he just wants to use her as a guinea pig for his youth experiments. When they get to the jungle, and she discovers the truth, you better believe she is plenty enraged!!!!!!!!
Girls, you have to see the transformation sequence of Malla. She ages backwards from about 140 to her late 20's, so Estelle Hemsely becomes Kim Hamilton. And once Malla becomes young, she is one, nasty, sly piece. A real bitch!!!!!!!!!!
Seeing how unhappy June is, she dangles this carrot in front of June. But there is a price! The solution involves a mixture of an orchid, with secretions of the pineal gland in the human male--and to get that, the man has to be killed. Before you can say, "Double Indemnity," June has arranged to have Paul killed, so she can become younger. It seems the deed is done with a secret ring, which has a blade that bores into where the gland is and secretes its fluid. June is restored to all her Colleen Gray glory. Let me say, in her day, Colleen was quite a beauty, and she was also known for her roles in such noir classics as "The Killing," the western "Red River," and the thriller "Kiss Of Death." Once she has gotten rid of her husband, and sees how gorgeous she is, June starts feeling mighty bitchy herself. So she concocts a plan to flee this burg and get back to the States, where she can score!!!!! This involves a lot of subterfuge, where the ring is stolen, and Malla gets mad, uttering that there is a price to be paid. You better believe it, honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once she gets back in the States, June poses as a cousin (or is it niece) named Terry. She is big on the singles scene, now, baby!!!!! However, eventually she discovers the serum's caveat--it allows youth only for a limited time. Eventually, she starts aging again, meaning she will have to have fresh pineal secretions, and that involves going out and killing another man!!!! June hates to do this, but what can she do???? So she becomes something of a moralist murderess by offing only sleazeballs, drunks; in other words, men who would not pass muster on the social scale, and by not doing, falling off the radar, and keeping June safe from apprehension. But there is trouble afoot.
Even when she was the blowzy alcoholic, June could not stand her husband's nurse, Sally, played by the aforementioned Gloria Talbot, who, though a good girl, turns out to be just as annoying as ever. June always suspected Paul was making it with Sally, even though she has a hot boyfriend and fiancee named Neil.
Meanwhile, after the murders, the police are stymied. Several eyewitnesses say they saw an "old woman" do the deeds, or at least being the last one seen with the unfortunate gentlemen. When the cops follow the leads, and are guided to young and beautiful June, they are completely stymied!!!!!!!
Over time, June has had the hots for Neil, and now that she is truly gorgeous she can make a play for him. She does, but to assure her security, she knows Sally has to be gotten rid of. So, she kills her, dumping her body in her closet!!!!! That is right, darlings, you heard me!!!!! June is not too swift!!!!!!!
She is making a grand play for Neil, when, like Lon Chaney, she senses a transformation coming over her, knows she is about to age, and pushes the confused Neil out the door. Then she goes to the closet, and uses her ring to get Sally's secretions. Now comes the pay off!!!!!! Sally is female, and the solution only works with male glands. With the female, it causes one to age faster than usual, and June wrinkles before our eyes into an ugly old crone!!!!!!!!!!!
Having not seen the film in awhile, there are two versions of how this ends. One has June fleeing from the police, who discover their aged killer with the body of dead Sally, and she flees from them. Her mind is young, her body not, and she crumbles to dust, blown away by Time and the wind. The other version has her sputtering incoherency about youth, realizing now she has lost everything, whereupon she kills herself by jumping off the balcony, her secret revealed only in death.
Personally, I like the second ending, which I think is the true one. It makes "The Leech Woman" a psychological study of a tragic woman, who only wanted the things every woman wants, could not have it, and becomes a suicide over it. You have to wonder about the creators, all men. Perhaps they saw the coming of change in women's roles, and were out for something more than high camp. So June would not make it as a Bitch Of The Week; she is not fun, and too tragic. That Sally, and Malla, now, are something else.
If you can find "The Leech Woman," darlings, it is worth a look. But my girls know they don't have to go to the lengths June does to preserve youth.
A good moisturizer and astringent work just fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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