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Sunday, September 4, 2011

All Right, Girls, I've HAD It!!!!!!!!!



Darlings, I am telling you, EVERYTHING gets blamed for causing homosexuality--domineering mothers like Mrs. Bates, trying on dresses when you are five, or Daddy spending too much time at the office!!!! But this latest takes the cake, dolls!!!!!

Meet Skyler Horowitz. He is 54, and a self-declared gay from Queen ("a queen from Queens," he calls himself; honey, that one was around back when I was in junior high!!!!), who hangs out at Marie's Crisis, acting like he is on the cutting edge of Being Gay. As profiled in the "My Gay City" feature of "NEXT" Magazine, Mr. Horowitz looks every inch the gym rat, like someone who is desperately trying to break out with a career in Titan Media Films, but, let me tell you, Marie's has not been cutting edge for decades. Its decor suggests Eugene 0'Neill's "The Iceman Cometh," except on weekends post-midnight, when throngs of guys/gays and their Fag Hag girlfriends come pouring down the stairs to sing show tunes. Once, when I had respect for them, they used to do Rodgers and Hammerstein, Sondheim, and such. Now, they have sunk to the level of "Wicked," 'Spring Awakening," and that ilk!!!! Don't get me started on "Frank Mills;" the current crowd wouldn't know that from Frank Sinatra!!!!!

Mr. Horowitz, he of the baseball cap and muscles, maintains he was straight all his life--until he saw "Funny Girl!!!!!" Oh, come on, darling!!!!! If "funny Girl" caught your fancy, you were gay already, it did not JUST happen!!!!! And if it turns out he knew who Anne Francis was, then you know he is gay!!!! Let me clarify something--"Funny Girl" or certain moves in particular do not create homosexuals. Homosexuals create these movies. That is how certain films become what is termed "gay iconic."

It seems Mr. Horowitz wants to believe his own delusions, which indicates he is still not comfortable with being gay!!!!!! And "Funny Girl" is SO gay iconic it is part of my deprogramming for serial killers. Here is how it works--catch your basic male serial killer, who, for the most part, is heterosexual, lock him in an interrogation room, and ceaselessly run "Funny Girl," until he breaks down, and begs for incarceration. Or, up the ante, with me performing the whole thing next to the screen. That will have him begging for lethal injection.

The bottom line, girls, is don't believe Horowitz' (pardon the pun!) cock and bull story about this movie turning him gay! Either he was from the get-go, or he is still a big old closet case!!!!!!

Take the key, and lock him up, darlings!!!!!!!!


4 comments:

Skyler said...

LOL ... love any publicity! The FUNNY GIRL reference about turning me gay was a joke. I was obssessed w/ both FUNNY GIRL and COMPANY in 1970. I actually came out a bit earlier at age 8 during show-and-tell singing ROSE'S TURN.
Skyler Horowitz

The Raving Queen said...

Mr, Horowitz--

"Rose's Turn" at 8????? Now, THAT is impressive; I wasn't doing it till I was 12. Though at 4, after my initial viewing of "The Wizard Of Oz", I was leaping off the back rim of my mother's sofas, on a toy broom, crying, "To the Emerald City, as fast as lightning!" She had a fit!!!!!!!

Skyler said...

TRQ -
LOL ... I tried umbrella flying at 7 a la Mary Poppins and my parents didn't think it was cute! Then at 8they accepted my obsession w/ GYPSY - since they were musical theatre fanatics! (I was named after Sky Masterson). Their suggestion was to play DAMN YANKEES record not baseball, so I wouldn't get hurt. Love your blog. Pls Facebook friend me [Skyler Horowitz] or Facebook message me if you would like.
Skyler

The Raving Queen said...

Skyler,

Thanks for your comments on the blog--please spread the word. You, and the Tyler Clementi page, may just
force my hand on Facebook, so don't be surprised if I turn up.

Sky Masterson has my favorite song in that show--"I've Never Been In Love Before." How great you were named after him.

The only sport I truly UNDERSTAND is baseball, which, BTW, is due only to "Damn Yankees!"

Our backgrounds seem similar. I was raised in Jersey. My parents were not "musical theater fanatics," but, from the late forties till early fifties, when I came along, were regular theatergoers. I grew up hearing about Ethel Merman in "Annie Get Your Gun," Mary Martin and Ezio Pinza in "South Pacific," "Mister Roberts," and "Death Of A Salesman." In childhood, the stereo console was in the living room, and, when I was not monopolizing it, my father woulf put on the Original Cast recording of "South Pacific." If I was in the house, the opening notes of "Bali Hai" in the Overture would stop me in my tracks, they were so compelling. When I was old enough to be home alone, I would listen to the whole thing; I was still at that stage where it was not cool to like what youyr parents did. But that stopped when I reached my teens, got my turntable set in my bedroom, when I would blare out intermittently, "Gypsy," "Mame," and most especially, "Follies."

Have a great day!