Thursday, September 22, 2011

Darlings, The Archdiocese Will Have My Head For This One!!!!!!!!!!




Actually, girls, they will have my head for lots of other things, but let's not go there. The reason for the subject bar is that this weeks's Bitch Of The Week has a relation to the Catholic church, albeit a cinematic one. She is fictitious, but representative of a sub-species of Catholic.

The winner of this week's Raving Queen Bitch Of The Week Award is Mrs. Tredoni, of the 1976 movie "Communion," which, in 1978 became known as "Alice, Sweet Alice," and then in 1981 as "Holy Terror." I prefer the original title, so, for purposes here, that will be used. It is also known as the movie that launched the acting career of a young up and comer named Brooke Shields. Actually, had Brooke not scored in "Pretty Baby," this movie might have gone forgotten, but with her ascendancy it was rediscovered and has become a minor sort of camp cult classic.

In the late 70's, early 80's this movie was often shown on New York's Channel 9, and it is a hoot!!!!!! No pedophile priests here (this was made long before that scandal broke!), but plenty for church detractors, or those who just question, to chip away at!!!!!!!!!!

This is a film fraught with sibling rivalry and repressed sexuality, a hotbed for disaster.

Set in Paterson, New Jersey, where it was filmed, "Communion," along with the Paterson Falls and its regular location appearance on the reality show "COPS" are the city's only claims to fame. At St. Michael's Roman Catholic Parish, trouble abounds. Sisters Karen (Shields) and Alice (Paula Shepard) are making their First Communion, but Alice is so Miss Bitch, thinking herself better than everyone, and lording it over poor innocent Karen. Alice exhibits some disturbing behavior, including a penchant for sneaking around dressed in a yellow hooded rain slicker and wearing a grotesque mask. On the day of Communion, Karen's murdered body is found in the church, and hysterics abound. The girls' mother, Catherine, is inconsolable, and
her sister, Annie comes to stay with her. But Aunt Annie and Niece Alice take an instant disliking to each other, which hints at trouble to come.

And come it does. Along comes Catherine's ex-hubby, Dom to help track down the killer. But it proves to be difficult. We see Alice, in secret, hovering over an altar containing, among other things a jar of live cockroaches, lighting candles, and delivering some kind of evil incantations. I am telling you, the stabbing scene of Annie has got to be seen! Alice gets into the rain gear and mask, and hidden beneath the stairs, ferociously stabs her aunt in the leg, to the horror of others in the building, including the landlord, Mr. Alphonso. Annie runs out the door, cowers in front of the church screaming....honey, this is a classic!!!! They didn't cover this in "The Sound Of Music." Alice is taken away for psychiatric evaluation. So should have half the characters in this movie!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, Dom receives a call from Angela, another girl under suspicion, who asks to meet him in an abandoned building, so she can give him Karen's crucifix, which was not found on her body!!!!!!!!!!! Dom goes, meets up with the killer, and is knocked unconscious. Now, we are getting to the fun part!!!!!!! Having been stabbed, knocked unconscious and tied up by the killer, he regains consciousness and discover the killer is NOT Alice, but....Mr. Tredoni!!!!!!!! Our Bitch Of The Week, a neurotic, sexually repressed Catholic, obviously paralyzed from the waist down, who thinks SEX IS BAD!!!!!!! She says she killed Karen because children have to pay for the sins of the parents, namely Dom and Catherine, who sinned by having premarital sex!!!!!! Mrs. Tredoni is played by the great Mildred Clinton (who also played Al Pacino's mother in "Serpico") as a true, rosary swinging harpie!!!! The kind you see in front in church each Sunday, uttering whispered prayers, which are probably incantations for those they hate!!!!!!!!! Yes, sir, you have to hand it to Mrs. Tredoni!!!!!!!!!! A REAL dyed in the wool Catholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The film climaxes with the realease of Alice from the loony bin. She and mother Catherine go to church. Dom is dead, and the examiner is played (in one of her final roles) by none other than Lillian "I'll Cry Tomorrow" Roth! Work was tough in those days, honey!!!!!!! The church scene is like grand opera. Father Tom is conducting Mass. Meanwhile, Mrs.Tredoni has been sneaking around, stabbing the landlord, Mr. Alphonso, who looks creepy, but is really a sweetheart. Police see the obssessed and deranged housekeeper running out the door, and heading to the church, where they follow. During the Mass, Mrs. Tredoni approaches for Communion, but Father Tom is on to her, now, and denies her. She flies into a rage, screaming he gave Communion to "a whore!" and pointing at Catherine. Then--what a bitch!!!!!--she stabs Father Tom, whom she was fond of, in the neck!!!!!! The police haul her out, but it is not clear if she lives or not!!!!!! Hopefully they locked her in a cell with hookers, who wouldn't stand for her repressive crap, and beat her to a pulp!!!!
Alice walks out of the church, with Mrs. Tredoni's shopping bag and mask, looking ominously at the camera!!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. Tredoni is the perfect BOTW--a self righteous, repressed Catholic who gives practitioners a bad name, but thinks she is in the right! You can bet her views on homosexuality would tend towards Anita Bryant, and if there had been a sequel, she would probably have gone after Gay Catholics!!!! but you have to love her for her zealousness and the way Mildred Clinton (no relation to THOSE Clintons, I am sure!!!!!!) plays her to the hilt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So a salute to our Bitch Of The Week, Mrs. Tredoni!!!!!! Another black mark on the image of the obsessed Catholic housekeeper. And, with Mrs. Danvers, on domestics everywhere!!!!!!!!!!

Good help is SO hard to find these days, darlings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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